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Old 10-06-2013, 04:46 PM   #1
juliusxxrock
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Firing a bandmate?

Hi!

Me and my friends are playing in a band of 4, 2 guitars, 1 bass and 1 on the drums.
Anyway, me (guitarist) and the bassist and drummer is thinking (well, kind of decided) about firing the other guitarist.

Reasons
-He is unmotivated, he thinks 1 rehearsal each week is too much.

-He's weird, I mean he says weird things, he does weird things; for example, he plays something we had'nt planned in a song, I poke him with my leg to kind of signal him to stop. This ends up with him being upset about these small things, and then all of these things adds up to one pissed of guitarist. I don't think he has any rights to be pissed when he does these kind of things all the time?

-He looks so god damned bored onstage! He stands with his guitar right below his chin (exaggerated ofcourse), and stand in the same spot during the rest of the gig. In short, he doesn't look very rock n' roll.

-His singing voice sounds so weird with the rock music we're playing.

I could go on forever, seriously.

But there's a huge con with just firing him straight up, all the parents will feel sorry for him and start blaming us for being insensitive. This will affect our relation to each others parents. TBH my parents would probably understand, but it doesn't really matter. I personally think the parents don't have the rights to blame us for such things, but the embarrassment..

Obviously we're not on the same page..
How should we do? We've agreed that he have got to go. We really see a better future in just us 3. How do you fire a bandmember who have been there from the beginning, but still kind of not?

(Also, thanks alot if you read the whole text )
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Old 10-06-2013, 04:57 PM   #2
Andalus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juliusxxrock
Hi!

Me and my friends are playing in a band of 4, 2 guitars, 1 bass and 1 on the drums.
Anyway, me (guitarist) and the bassist and drummer is thinking (well, kind of decided) about firing the other guitarist.

Reasons
-He is unmotivated, he thinks 1 rehearsal each week is too much.

-He's weird, I mean he says weird things, he does weird things; for example, he plays something we had'nt planned in a song, I poke him with my leg to kind of signal him to stop. This ends up with him being upset about these small things, and then all of these things adds up to one pissed of guitarist. I don't think he has any rights to be pissed when he does these kind of things all the time?

-He looks so god damned bored onstage! He stands with his guitar right below his chin (exaggerated ofcourse), and stand in the same spot during the rest of the gig. In short, he doesn't look very rock n' roll.

-His singing voice sounds so weird with the rock music we're playing.

I could go on forever, seriously.

But there's a huge con with just firing him straight up, all the parents will feel sorry for him and start blaming us for being insensitive. This will affect our relation to each others parents. TBH my parents would probably understand, but it doesn't really matter. I personally think the parents don't have the rights to blame us for such things, but the embarrassment..

Obviously we're not on the same page..
How should we do? We've agreed that he have got to go. We really see a better future in just us 3. How do you fire a bandmember who have been there from the beginning, but still kind of not?

(Also, thanks alot if you read the whole text )


I stand still with my guitar as high as it will go. It's a particular sort of image

But yeah I get you. Just have a band meeting and sack him. Easy.
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Old 10-06-2013, 05:00 PM   #3
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Why is what the parents think of any importance? It's not their band, it's yours.
As the saying goes, shit happens. If he's not fitting in, he's not fitting in. Tell him that, but don't be a jerk about it. If he gets upset, well, that's his problem. He's going to find it's quite a shock when he hits the working world and finds that if he doesn't pull his weight, his boss will fire him.
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Old 10-06-2013, 06:09 PM   #4
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Provoke an argument by starting something like 'Do you even want to play in this band' and when things heat up, act all offended/mad and kick him.
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Old 10-06-2013, 06:24 PM   #5
ccannon1
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Are you guys like 13? It doesn't matter what your parents think of what you do in the band.

If he's that bad, fire him. ESPECIALLY if all of you agree he's that bad.
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Old 10-06-2013, 06:51 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by ccannon1
Are you guys like 13? It doesn't matter what your parents think of what you do in the band.

If he's that bad, fire him. ESPECIALLY if all of you agree he's that bad.

This.
Quote:
all the parents will feel sorry for him and start blaming us for being insensitive. This will affect our relation to each others parents.

If the other parents are dumb enough to feel bad for someone without even knowing the story then you're better off distancing yourself from them altogether.

Or just pull a Varg and burn down everyone's houses.
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Old 10-06-2013, 06:52 PM   #7
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how old are you?
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Old 10-06-2013, 06:58 PM   #8
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Have a band meeting and tell him you wanna continue without him, no hard feelings required. The parents will have to accept that this is what you guys need to move forward as a band and play the way you want to. It's not your duty to play music with this kid.
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Old 10-08-2013, 02:24 PM   #9
juliusxxrock
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The age is rather irrelevant, since it's mostly about experince. But since you insist, we are all 15 year olds.

I wouldn't really feel bad about firing him, since I hate his ugly face, but our drummer is such a ****ing coward when it comes to alot of things, such as this one.

But how would you tell him this without him like bursting into tears? (Yes, I'm pretty sure he would, he's like a mini Bieber) He's not expecting this at all.
I've never done this face to face with someone before.
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Old 10-08-2013, 03:48 PM   #10
Andalus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juliusxxrock
The age is rather irrelevant, since it's mostly about experince. But since you insist, we are all 15 year olds.

I wouldn't really feel bad about firing him, since I hate his ugly face, but our drummer is such a ****ing coward when it comes to alot of things, such as this one.

But how would you tell him this without him like bursting into tears? (Yes, I'm pretty sure he would, he's like a mini Bieber) He's not expecting this at all.
I've never done this face to face with someone before.

Suddenly all makes sense as to why you don't want him in the band.

He sounds like the best out of the lot of you. Fire him and do him a favour, let him get a better band.
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Old 10-08-2013, 03:52 PM   #11
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Talk to him about the issues first. You don't need to fire him immediately. Give him some time, maybe he can change (though, I don't think he should change his personality or anything like that). No offense, but you kind of sound like an @$$hole based on your last comment ("since I hate his ugly face"). You are insulting him right now and talking sh!t about him. I don't know how it's in your band, but if you talk like that behind each other's backs, I can tell you your band has no future. You need to talk to him about the problems. Or then tell him that he just doesn't fit the band and you feel like the band would work better as a trio. Ask him if he really wants to be in the band. If he does, just tell him that he needs to be more dedicated. Just be honest but don't be an @$$hole.
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Old 10-09-2013, 05:14 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by MaggaraMarine
Talk to him about the issues first. You don't need to fire him immediately. Give him some time, maybe he can change (though, I don't think he should change his personality or anything like that). No offense, but you kind of sound like an @$$hole based on your last comment ("since I hate his ugly face"). You are insulting him right now and talking sh!t about him. I don't know how it's in your band, but if you talk like that behind each other's backs, I can tell you your band has no future. You need to talk to him about the problems. Or then tell him that he just doesn't fit the band and you feel like the band would work better as a trio. Ask him if he really wants to be in the band. If he does, just tell him that he needs to be more dedicated. Just be honest but don't be an @$$hole.



+1

constructive critisism!!...age does matter because your comments are that of a 15 year old and borderline "bullying". Talking crap behind peoples back will never solve any issues.....being straight forward, but with the same amount of respect that you would wish onto yourself, however will.

*how he holds his instrument is up to him, the bands image should be a piece of everybodies image...if he holds it like angus cause he playīs better...good on him, if he stands still....fine....Try video taping a gig and (as a band) have a look at what you can improve without singling out just him...mabye suggest dark clothes, sunglasses and a hat....then he doesnīt have to move and will get away with it.

*if one of my bandmates poked me mid-song Iīd floor the douche. Thereīs no use trying to fix mistakes while playing, sensibly discuss it as a band after ...what works and what donīt

*record some of your songs and discuss what works and what doesnīt....mabye he doesnīt want to sing

*mabye he is a hopeless A-hole......well then atleast you tried and you can give him the boot knowing you were honest, respectfull and you and your bandmates will have no issues finding a replacement cause everyone knows that your not the A--holes....even your parents...
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Old 10-09-2013, 01:37 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juliusxxrock
The age is rather irrelevant, since it's mostly about experince. But since you insist, we are all 15 year olds.

I wouldn't really feel bad about firing him, since I hate his ugly face, but our drummer is such a ****ing coward when it comes to alot of things, such as this one.

But how would you tell him this without him like bursting into tears? (Yes, I'm pretty sure he would, he's like a mini Bieber) He's not expecting this at all.
I've never done this face to face with someone before.



Wow... good luck with that attitude, kid. You're going to need it.
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Old 10-09-2013, 07:45 PM   #14
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Age does matter here. When you're a child or a young adult, you need to rely on adults for guidance. You hopefully look to your parents for that guidance. At the same time, you want to be the person they hopefully raised you to be. You want to do the right thing - partly because it is the right thing, and partly because you don't want to feel like you're letting them down. Sometimes you want and need guidance, or at least affirmation.

Once you are an adult, hopefully doing the right thing has become well-practiced.

This thread really shows that. It is a mixture of people who are encouraging you to do the right thing, and of people who are showboating like typical teenagers when they are amidst their peers.

My daughter is a year younger than you and a good singer. If it was her band, I would tell her that it was ultimately her decision, but if she wasn't sure, or wanted affirmation that she was doing the right thing, I know that she would care about what I thought. It's not about "getting in trouble" or anything.

For the record, knowing what I know about most of the teenagers here in this thread, as a parent, I would do my best to dissuade my daughter from being in a band with anyone like them. I'd have a hard time delivering a definitive "over my dead body", but would hope that she would trust my judgement to take it into strong consideration.

CT
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