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Old 12-04-2013, 06:44 PM   #1
pAWNlol
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Prog-metal/djent *complete*

hey guys, the T&C forums have been pretty dead for a while, so i figure id liven it up a bit

heres what i have so far of my latest song. if youve heard my music already, youll know what to expect: the unexpected lol

but really, more of my super-melodic prog-metal, this time with influences from djent, groove metal, and more!

FYI: for the best sound, turn up the reverb on the center guitar, chimes, and ambient keys. mainly center guitar

Edit: i just finished the solo. tell me what you guys think!

Edit 2: the song is now finished! tell me what you guys think!!! all input is appreciated
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 latest song.gp5 (103.0 KB, 154 views)
File Type: gp5 Latest song update.gp5 (125.4 KB, 106 views)
File Type: zip New song complete.gp5.zip (11.3 KB, 77 views)
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:30 PM   #2
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Sounds awesome! If I had a 6 string and was any good at slapping I'd give it a shot learning the bass part.
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Old 12-04-2013, 10:04 PM   #3
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sounds great man, id love to hear how you complete it. im gonna try my hand at learning the guitar parts and solo in the mean time.
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Old 12-05-2013, 12:28 AM   #4
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Don't have time for a full crit now, just wanted to say I really liked it, good job, sounds awesome.
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Old 12-05-2013, 01:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jipley0
Sounds awesome! If I had a 6 string and was any good at slapping I'd give it a shot learning the bass part.

hah thanks man. i definitely had to step up my own bass game just for this song
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Old 12-06-2013, 05:37 PM   #6
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Nice melodies and that verse1 was very heavy! The EBow solo was very emotional haha I shed a tear or two :p Nice song so groovy It felt good to hear that kind of stuff.
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Old 12-08-2013, 11:21 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Craziork
Nice melodies and that verse1 was very heavy! The EBow solo was very emotional haha I shed a tear or two :p Nice song so groovy It felt good to hear that kind of stuff.

hah, thanks man. but really? you thought verse 1 was heavy? pretty much this whole song was made to have a relatively chill atmosphere
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Old 12-09-2013, 03:13 AM   #8
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yes it felt heavy for me, probably because of the drum kicking in plus the bass's sixth string tuned so low. (it's not deathmetal heavy, but still)
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Old 12-09-2013, 03:24 AM   #9
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Sounded pretty well written and original to me (okay, it sounded like Periphery with a bit more synth to me, but still...). Certainly something I'd listen to. I have no complaints, but if I could make very small suggestions, if I were writing it I'd have some kind of counterpoint during the build up, and some sort of support under the bass fury part.
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Old 12-10-2013, 12:16 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Macabre_Turtle
Sounded pretty well written and original to me (okay, it sounded like Periphery with a bit more synth to me, but still...). Certainly something I'd listen to. I have no complaints, but if I could make very small suggestions, if I were writing it I'd have some kind of counterpoint during the build up, and some sort of support under the bass fury part.

care to offer any suggestions or specific examples? im not quite sure what youre thinking
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:06 AM   #11
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@pAWNlol: Do you know what counterpoint is? It's where you have two independent melodies. So chuck in a new melody with the synth. I also think the bass should be more energetic and intricate in the build up. Take some elements from the rhythm of the percussion and play some legato/slap fills.

The intro melody to this piece has a counter-melody added after a repeat:



Bach also used it a lot in his Fugues. Read up on Fugues and you'll learn how difficult it is to write a good one. That said, counter-point is by no means impossible, you can definitely take that from Bach.

At least that's what I thought when I read what Macabre_Turtle had posted.
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:07 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pAWNlol
care to offer any suggestions or specific examples? im not quite sure what youre thinking


I wrote in a two bars of counterpoint for the buildup. You can add to it, repeat it, get rid of it, whatever. Just an example of what I had in mind.

As for the bass part, I didn't have any particular ideas in mind. I just think when a song cuts down to just drums and bass, the bass has gone away from its supporting role, and something else needs to take it's place. Whether it's more synth chords like the previous riff, some kind of melody from a synth, some kind of subtle/not-too-distracting guitar part... anything really.
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File Type: gp5 Latest song update.gp5 (113.3 KB, 20 views)
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My upcoming album.
Atlas Burden'

Covers:
STS - Emersion - Dual Guitar/Bass
STS - Redwoods - Dual Guitar
BTBAM - The Backtrack - Bass/Guitar
BTBAM - Sun of Nothing - Guitar
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:09 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaydenHohns
At least that's what I thought when I read what Macabre_Turtle had posted.


Spot on.
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Atlas Burden'

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STS - Redwoods - Dual Guitar
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BTBAM - Sun of Nothing - Guitar
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:16 AM   #14
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@hayden: yes im familiar with the tern; im actually quite theory-inclined. i just wanted a specific example

@macabe: that didnt sound bad, but it wouldve been better in a lower register. what you wrote on the left guitar would have made a decent tenor line. ill keep that in mind for later on when i bring that main motif back

in the meantime, what do you all think of the solo?
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:34 AM   #15
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I think a lot of the 32nd note weedly weedly is unnecessary, but the chromaticisms are cool, and I really like when the rhythm under goes all groovy.
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Atlas Burden'

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STS - Redwoods - Dual Guitar
BTBAM - The Backtrack - Bass/Guitar
BTBAM - Sun of Nothing - Guitar
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:56 AM   #16
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@pAWNlol: Your notation suggests otherwise.

The solos are dreadful IMO, I would cut out the section labelled Ebow solo and then the phrasing is awfully incoherent and I hate how you always pause on a note at the beginning of phrases. It is a problem that plagues nearly every guitar solo I hear in metal.



Listen to the example there and when you get to the solo, listen carefully, the phrasing that starts at ~5:40 happens at the end of the progression that then continues into the next measure/phrase (5:42). Nearly all guitarists avoid this and that is one reason why a lot of solos lack fluid movement. I didn't notice I was lacking this until my old guitar teacher told me. You would be surprised how good you can make some basic licks sound once you can employ this idea comfortably.

Just an opinion, don't take me that seriously.

Just reading what Macabre_Turtle said, the groove riffs underneath is very good and the changes throughout the rhythm parts are good. You just need to execute a better solo.
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Old 12-10-2013, 02:06 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaydenHohns
The solos are dreadful IMO, I would cut out the section labelled Ebow solo


I just want to clarify before you go ahead with that opinion, are you familiar with the Ebow? Guitar Pro really can't accurately create the incredibly varied sounds that one can make. I'm just saying, we're not quite hearing it as intended.
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Atlas Burden'

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STS - Redwoods - Dual Guitar
BTBAM - The Backtrack - Bass/Guitar
BTBAM - Sun of Nothing - Guitar
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Old 12-10-2013, 02:24 AM   #18
pAWNlol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaydenHohns
@pAWNlol: Your notation suggests otherwise.

what do you mean? are you talking about the score?
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Old 12-10-2013, 02:29 AM   #19
pAWNlol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HaydenHohns
the phrasing that starts at ~5:40 happens at the end of the progression that then continues into the next measure/phrase (5:42)
Just an opinion, don't take me that seriously

well did you think that maybe my physical abilities arent quite at that level yet?
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Old 12-10-2013, 05:25 AM   #20
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@Macabre_Turtle: I just looked up an Ebow and they're cool but it doesn't change the fact that I find that section directionless. I probably should have mentioned that.

@pAWNlol: At no point did I say play Dream Theater, your technical skills are fine if you can play what you tab. Not only that, but someone with lesser skills than that would be able to employ the same phrasing ideas and techniques and be able to play it. The point of my previous post is that your phrasing is really broken up. Your phrasing needs to flow into the next bar, not stop every 1, 2, 3 or 4 bars.

Yeah I was talking about the score.
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