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Old 12-30-2013, 02:58 PM   #1
Mainer
UG's Cosmic Revolutionary
 
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Topsfield, Maine
Untitled Unfinished

This is a song I started writing last night. It's my attempt at being James McMurtry XD. I'm pretty happy with it so far, except I need to make some changes to the first verse. Constructive criticism?

Like a disco drummer in a punk rock band
We never did quite go hand in hand
Like a judge on some singing contest show
You said that I had no place to go
Singing Neil Young songs on the city street
For nickels and dimes and nothin' to eat
You said I'd never make it, girl
Covering "Rockin' in the Free World"

What happened to your knight in his old rusty armor
Drinking to Zevon like some sort of martyr
Sinking like a rock that I never could skip
Knowing I'll never sail on that old pirate ship
Now the bar crowd don't care, they've heard it all before
After one song they'd just show me the door
You took off drivin' down those old icey roads
You never did call me, let me know you got home

The pipes were all froze and the lights were shut off
The candle burned slow although nothing was soft
Hard times had come, I could feel in my bones
In the morning they'd come take everything that I own
The eviction note must've been the last straw
The smoke from your tailpipe was the last thing I saw
As the hum of the streetlight rung in my ear
What I had to do became far less clear

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