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Old 10-16-2006, 07:39 PM   #1
emmytee
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Mind Bullets


Mind bullets
Yeah, they're mind bullets
Blow your brains all over the floor
out your mouth, your liver
If thats your way
Why think when you can see
Why do....
when apathy has never felt so good
We all

drop from the killer sound
all hide from the last round
shot through the head
that never left a mark
A scar, a shot, a second chance
They never got that far

Men in a veal cage
Locked with a clip tie
Chained to a mortgage
sat with a fat stare
They pray for the butcher

drop from the killer sound
all hide from the last round
A shot through the head
that never left a mark
A scar a shot a second chance
that never got that far

We
Don't
Need
This
Any
More

Don't need your mind bullets
Don't need your neckties
Don't need your bluetooth
Spreadsheets, desk jobs
Liars


drop from the killer sound
all hide from the last round
Mind bullets
Yeah, they're mind bullets


Meh, I like it just now, but by tomorrow morn' I'll probably hate it. Anyway, what y'all think ?


Edit: Ok, I hate the end already...ill go before I just take it all down.

Last edited by emmytee : 10-16-2006 at 07:42 PM.
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Old 10-16-2006, 07:43 PM   #2
cman138
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it's nu metal
>
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Old 10-16-2006, 07:48 PM   #3
dudde
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Er... Let's say it's nice. Needs some work, tough. Mainly the first stanza. But not bad at all. Just work a little bit more on it, take it as if it wasn't "ready" yet.

Dudde
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Old 10-16-2006, 07:49 PM   #4
uterus
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mind bullets, woah.
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Old 10-16-2006, 07:53 PM   #5
pugnapugnapugna
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How about the power to kill a yak from 100 yards away.

WITH MIND BULLETS!

That's telekinesis, Kyle.
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Old 10-16-2006, 08:18 PM   #6
Metallica
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pugnapugnapugna
How about the power to kill a yak from 100 yards away.

WITH MIND BULLETS!

That's telekinesis, Kyle.


my first thought exactly.

anyways, i think the first sections need some cleaning up. i like the way the last couple stanzas were worded. i feel that it needs to be reworked a bit to make your point more clear. the meaning is not coming through as strongly as it could. in my opinion.

crit mine if you have time please. ( in my sig )
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Old 10-16-2006, 08:33 PM   #7
Garrador
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I am feeling this song the nu metal vibe appeals to me its a diamond in the rough
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Old 10-16-2006, 09:39 PM   #8
Strat_Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pugnapugnapugna
How about the power to kill a yak from 100 yards away.

WITH MIND BULLETS!

That's telekinesis, Kyle.

the power of flight whats that do for ya?
levatation homes...
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Old 10-17-2006, 12:18 PM   #9
emmytee
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pugnapugnapugna
How about the power to kill a yak from 100 yards away.

WITH MIND BULLETS!

That's telekinesis, Kyle.


yeah, i actually had that in it for a while lol..... It all got thrown wehn i took that out
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