Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > UG Community > The Pit
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 09-10-2006, 01:18 AM   #41
scotchtape
UG Newbie
 
scotchtape's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: GO TEAM GLUE, WE'RE NUMBER DRUNK WHOO!!!
whats the nastiest thing on the planet? a trashcan full of dead babies

whats nastier than that? the one in the bottom is still alive

whats nastier than that? it has to eat its way out

whats nastier than that? it goes back for seconds

whats the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? you cant unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork

what do you call a barn full of old black people? antique farm equipment

what do you do if you see a black guy hopping up and down on one leg? stop laughing, reload and finish it off

what do you call a black guy swimming? a top water jig

i have more
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by unplugtheradio
sometimes people sig me, dont tell me, and i see it later. its a weird feeling.




he's bulletproof

Quote:
Originally Posted by IbanezPlayer27
There's Black Amish People that use computer's
scotchtape is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 01:19 AM   #42
ZoSo0305
Registered User
 
ZoSo0305's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Dover NH
that ashtray one's hilarious
ZoSo0305 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 01:20 AM   #43
snoozer
UG Newbie
 
snoozer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: claremont, California
why did hitler kill himself??



because he saw the gas bill





how do u get a black guy out of a tree??

you cut the rope
snoozer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 01:23 AM   #44
Adio_stack
UG's worst speller
 
Adio_stack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
how do you get 12 black ppl in a volkswagen?
through in a welfare check

how do you get them out?
through in a job applacation

what do you get when you have 3 mexians, 1 asian and 3 black ppl in a line?
sprinkler,spi,spi,spic,chinc,nigga,nigga,nigga
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by xsynysterx06
adio_stack...i love you.
im not homo..

Quote:
Originally Posted by RideTheAnger13
lmao, omg, Adio, you have the best avatar known to man!
Adio_stack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 01:23 AM   #45
the_man101
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: p-town
whats the difference between a dead black guy lying on the road and a dead dog lying on the road?
their are skid marks by the dog


4 gay guys walk into a bar
there is only 1 stool
how do they sit down?




they flip the stool over
the_man101 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 01:32 AM   #46
Burning_Angel
Valar Morghulis
 
Burning_Angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Colorado.
One I heard a long time ago....

You wanna hear a joke?
Sure
An irish guy walks out of a bar.


This thread is gay except for a few....

I laughed at none of the racist or dead baby jokes (I hadnt even heard of them till now)..........
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Burning_Angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 01:43 AM   #47
jasonsol
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2006
Burning angel, no one cares. Thanks
jasonsol is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 02:14 AM   #48
CasSac
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Houston
why are there only 2 poll bearers(sp?) at a mexican funeral?

there are only 2 handles on a trashcan
CasSac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 03:00 AM   #49
visa
UG Member
 
visa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Everywhere you want to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LCacy
How do German children tie their shoes?




In little Nazi's


...you know you laughed


That made absoulutely no sense how do you tie your shoes in little nazi's?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zach_F
Please take your friends instruments, and burn them. Burn your friends too if you'd like.
visa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 03:23 AM   #50
remember
UG Fanatic
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: bakersfield
y are black peoples palms and bottom of there feet white.
cuz theres a little bit of good in everybody.

what do u call 50000 black people at the bottom of the ocean.
a good start

how do u starve a black person.
hide his food stamps under his work boots.

what do u get when look up a black persons family tree.
**** on your face.
remember is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 04:11 AM   #51
The Leader
Master of Analogies
 
The Leader's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Houstoned, TX
3 guys are commissioned by a millionaire to jump off a building. Incidently, its a white guy, a black guy, and a mexican guy. Who hits first?

The white guy. The mexican stopped halfway to write graffiti, and the black guy never showed up for the job.
__________________
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
The Leader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 04:26 AM   #52
RMC06
SPOON!
 
RMC06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: College Station, TX
man #1- A blind woman bowled a 300 today.
man #2- Thats unbelievable! A woman!
__________________
Represent the RGV


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurikinton Fox
All I got was a D in my A


*leaves*



RMC06 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 04:34 AM   #53
bloodhound_tm
UG Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
A nun entered a taxi and the driver goes "would you ever have sex?" and the nun goes, "well only if we were married and we didn't have kids and we went to church every sunday". So the driver says "Well, I don't have any kids and I go to church every sunday. will you **** me?" and the nun goes "welll......... ok but only if you take me from behined". So screwed each other and the driver goes "Haha! sucker! I've got 10 kids and I've never been to church a day in my life" and the nun started laughing and goes "AND I"M JUST A MAN GOING TO A COSTUME PARTY!!!"
bloodhound_tm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 04:38 AM   #54
Kartman
Samuel in da tub.
 
Kartman's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Seattle, Washington, USA
What do you call a black guy at store?

A shopper.
__________________
WHY IS EVERYONE IN THE PIT A FUCKING METALCORE KID
Kartman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 04:57 AM   #55
batesyy
¿que?
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Antarctica
Why did the Lebanese guy cross the road?





To beat up the chicken.



Why did 100 Lebanese guys cross the road?



Because the chicken was winning.
batesyy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 05:04 AM   #56
goth clash
UG's postman
 
goth clash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Brixton, London, England
ok...clash has one
so theres a chinese man skipping stones along a pond and a black man comes up and asks him what hes doing. so the chinese man goes 'Im skipping stones...see they say the name of my ancestors' and the chinese man picks up a stone and skips it across the water and it goes ching-chong-chi....so the black man picks up a stone and skips it and that stone goes chim-pan-zee. The black man looks on in disgust and gets mad and picks up a a massive rock and throws it in the lake and the massive rock goes ba-BOON.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by GodofGuitar1991
you are a real guitarist when you are not ashamed about masturbating to musicians friend magazine.
goth clash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 05:04 AM   #57
Aussie Ghost
Little Yellow Kill Joy
 
Aussie Ghost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Good Old Australia
A Man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A Woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need

A Woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
A successful woman is one who can find such a man

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all

Married men live longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkein
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CowboyUp
If a mute swears, does his mum wash his hands with soap?


Food for thought from AussiE
Aussie Ghost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 05:14 AM   #58
slashnmash
UG's C-UNiT
 
slashnmash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Hampshire, UK
One of my friends is that master of racist jokes...

Why dont you see black men on star trek?


...Because they wont work in the future either


What do you call a black man having sex?




...RAPE!!


Why is stevie wonder still smiling?




He doesnt know he's black.



What do you throw at a black man whos just fallen off a boat?


His wife and kids


thats its for now..
slashnmash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 06:29 AM   #59
future rock god
Registered User
 
future rock god's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by remember
y are black peoples palms and bottom of there feet white.
cuz theres a little bit of good in everybody.



Another Answer: they were knelt down when god spray painted them.
future rock god is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 06:39 AM   #60
NASA
BA in Music, recognize!
 
NASA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
whats the best thing about sex with a baby girl?


flip her over and its exactly like sex with a baby boy.
__________________
Just because you can express your opinion on an internet forum, doesn't mean you should.

MyMyMySpace
MyWork
NASA is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:45 AM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.