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Old 01-26-2015, 04:07 PM   #1
APileOfDeadCops
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Post Another "douche story"

I'm not exactly a great person, secret's out. I know that everything that goes wrong in my life is a result of me not thinking things through. Well I almost ****ed up bad this one time in the fall. Guys, don't do the things I do.

So, our story begins. Me and my buddies were hanging out sometime in mid-October 2014. We saw on Facebook this douche (Let's just call him Travis) we went to school with thought he could rap, and he signed to this indie record label called "Do or Die Records". We checked out their website, and it was totally non-legitamate. It was ran by a man, we'll just call him "Adam". My buddy Andrew was a wannabe rapper back in high school, so we thought it would be funny to send him his old Bandcamp on Facebook just to see what happened.

Adam messaged back roughly 10 minutes later saying "dude your friend has some MAD potential bro!! I wanna speak with him"

So I gave him Andrew's name and he added him on Facebook, and it continues... Adam just reaked of scam artist. He was obviously trying to lure him in with stuff like, "just imagine where you could go with a professional studio with top notch recording equipment. I can make it happen!"

We eventually scheduled a meeting for the following Saturday because we wanted to see how far we could go with this. He was driving back home from Chicago but agreed to come meet with us before going back to his house. Me and Andrew decided to go full out on douche clothes and wear saggy shorts and sweatpants and aviators and hoodies. Andrew's catchphrase for the meeting was "Namsayin'?" and mine was "Furreal, dawg". It was perfect.

We went to our local McDonald's and waited. Our buddy Thomas came with us, but he was too embarrassed to be seen with us so he just sat at a nearby table and watched. He said this was hands down the stupidest thing we've ever done.

Adam showed up late, and holy shit his appearance just screamed methhead/tweaker/whatever. He had long greasy hair, he didn't look like he'd showered in weeks. Holy shit he smelled too.

Anyway, we sat there and talked for about 15 minutes. We talked about Andrew's music and his "fanbase". Adam went on to tell us that he's had some legal troubles with his record label that landed him in prison 10 years ago, but he's finally starting his record label back up and needed our help to build it back from the ground up.

Just as things were wrapping up, out of the blue, TRAVIS walks in and sees us! My heart dropped. Thomas just burst out laughing and left the building. We were so ****ed. He recognized us from high school and was like, "You guys are in the rap game now? Really?!"

I shook my head and pointed at Andrew and said, "No, but he is."

They then insisted we go outside and have Andrew spit some rhymes at them and "see what [ya] got". There was a problem though. Andrew hadn't rapped seriously in like 5 years! I advised him to come up with some material incase some shit like this happened, but he's an idiot and ignored me.

We excused ourselves to the bathroom and told them to meet us outside. We were freaking the **** out! Adam was about to find out we were ****ing with him this entire time! In the bathroom we realized how ****ed we were and decided our best course of action. We made a run for it. We ran out out of the bathroom and dashed out the other side of the store to our car and drove off. We made our Facebooks private for the time being, Andrew deleted his bandcamp and that was the end of it.

Last edited by APileOfDeadCops : 01-26-2015 at 04:17 PM.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:11 PM   #2
JamSessionFreak
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this is legit hilarious
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:12 PM   #3
Pastafarian96
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that was the dumbest thing I have ever read

'nuff said.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:13 PM   #4
cha33 armstrong
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No TL;DR
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:14 PM   #5
SMH07
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Thats a real great story.
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The plan was to drink until the pain over.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:15 PM   #6
deadsmileyface
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its actually spelled "4real dawg"
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:15 PM   #7
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:15 PM   #8
APileOfDeadCops
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Originally Posted by cha33 armstrong
No TL;DR

Can you come up with one for me? I spent a long ass time typing this story out and I don't wanna
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:15 PM   #9
luvs2gro
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ooooooooooooh goooood


i reaaaaaaaaallly wanna post the pear right now......



I mean......

lolwut
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:17 PM   #10
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Our buddy Thomas came with us, but he was too embarrassed to be seen with us


Tom is to APileOfDeadCops what APileOfDeadCops is to lesbian transsexual A7X guy.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:21 PM   #11
Silver-spear94
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sounds fresh, dawg.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:22 PM   #12
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I don't even care that that shit was totally made up.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:22 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by deadsmileyface
its actually spelled "4real dawg"

Not if he's referring to a fursuit made of real animal fur.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:30 PM   #14
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Furreal, dawg
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:34 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by T00DEEPBLUE


I don't even care that that shit was totally made up.



Yea
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:40 PM   #16
SMH07
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Why did you run anyway when you could've just spat this?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1667483

show
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Last.fm

The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:43 PM   #17
APileOfDeadCops
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Originally Posted by SMH07
Why did you run anyway when you could've just spat this?

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1667483

show

That rap didn't exist at the time.
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:43 PM   #18
steve_muse
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alright, he's the new 'is he troll or not?' of UG
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Old 01-26-2015, 04:57 PM   #19
Nero Galon
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Originally Posted by Pastafarian96
that was the dumbest thing I have ever read

'namnsayin?


FTFY
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Old 01-26-2015, 05:42 PM   #20
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tl:dr take it to livejournal
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