|
|
#1 | ||
|
pronounced new-ee girl...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Small Town Near Eugene, OR
|
Deception
Deception
Deception doesn't fall far from its tree Behind all the smiles, it's virus it leaves The children fall victim, as do the parents An almost inevitable trait to inherit A picturesque time when all come together But will the deception continue, lasting forever? In spite of the pain, a pact has been formed To find common ground in the eye of the storm With that which I know I fall free of the mold Releasing the flame The flame that I hold I take back my words And what I was told Why can't I just be bold? What goes on behind the closed doors, Or even apparent, the niave mind ignores Steady signs of growing tension Nothing adds up to common convention Scratching the surface would hardly uncover The truth that begs for someone to discover Impossibility speaks nearly to loud And ever more remains the facade; deceitful cloud Comments, constructive criticism, and other such productive advice welcome. -Nooey ![]()
__________________
Quote:
Quote:
|
||
|
|
|
|
|
#2 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Hartlepool, UK
|
overall its good i like it, but...
"why can't I just be bold?" this line seems somewhat unnecessary and kinda week. and also "Impossibility speaks nearly too loud"
__________________
FOR SALE: Wilkinson EZ lok Tuners - £15 Dunlop 535q Multiwah - £80 Offers/Trades anyone? |
|
|
|
![]() |
| Thread Tools |
|
|