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Old 06-22-2007, 06:42 AM   #1
Nooeygirl
pronounced new-ee girl...
 
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Small Town Near Eugene, OR
Deception

Deception

Deception doesn't fall far from its tree
Behind all the smiles, it's virus it leaves
The children fall victim, as do the parents
An almost inevitable trait to inherit

A picturesque time when all come together
But will the deception continue, lasting forever?
In spite of the pain, a pact has been formed
To find common ground in the eye of the storm

With that which I know
I fall free of the mold
Releasing the flame
The flame that I hold
I take back my words
And what I was told
Why can't I just be bold?

What goes on behind the closed doors,
Or even apparent, the niave mind ignores
Steady signs of growing tension
Nothing adds up to common convention

Scratching the surface would hardly uncover
The truth that begs for someone to discover
Impossibility speaks nearly to loud
And ever more remains the facade; deceitful cloud

Comments, constructive criticism, and other such productive advice welcome.

-Nooey
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Yea I feel the same way too, I try to be good because I burn very easly so I wouldn't last long in Hell, unless they have sunblock there.


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You're more desprate than a man paying for a hooker on credit.
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Old 06-22-2007, 06:54 AM   #2
samuwel
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Hartlepool, UK
overall its good i like it, but...

"why can't I just be bold?" this line seems somewhat unnecessary and kinda week.

and also "Impossibility speaks nearly too loud"
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