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Old 08-19-2014, 05:24 PM   #1
rushmore
bblblubluewhale
 
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Join Date: Jan 2007
p.

there are tulips in my tea
veins of greenstone adorning my revery
conditioning my presence in this
mountain appalachian
I have traveled the
white pines in my
deciduous accent
breezed the contortions of your
language skin
the soft stalagmites I
rub against with the
other on my fingertips
the rhetoric of flowers we
discourse in
all rooted in the
rhubarb mountain
in some genteel pearl
a gestalt love
a
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Old 08-19-2014, 11:15 PM   #2
hippieboy444
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Join Date: Apr 2006
wow. i love the language and the composition. only thing i dislike is the presence of "the/ other on my fingertips". mentioning the other isn't out of place per se, but it seems to explicitly philosophical and technical at least to my mind. maybe i read too much.

great work.
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Old 09-05-2014, 05:52 AM   #3
heatherpatton
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Good one. Nice to read it.
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