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Old 12-18-2007, 03:07 AM   #1
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WotW / WotM - Archives


Writing of the Week/Writer of the Month Archives.


Writing of the Week

Current WotW: the love song of will navidson
Written by: NGD1313

Previous WotW: Winter In Me
Written by: BrandyCross


theres nothing soft about the leaves that fall
and winters chill it takes them all
another night all alone
i guess thats why its broken

and i could almost feel
the softness of your skin
and wonder what it would be like
to hold you close and then.

the frost that sets in
as the day turns into night
wake up in the morning
and nothing makes it right
because its become apart of you
nothing left that you can do

and i could almost feel
the softness of your skin
and wonder what it would be like
to hold you close and then

this house is not my home
it merely holds me in
and love its not that close to me
to far away to ever be

sit and watch the leaves that fell a long time ago
autumn rain has turned into the cold of winter snow
a little shiver at the sight of ice on the tree
ill cover up and try to hide the winter here in me




--------------------


Writer of the Month: Winners Archive:


May '04-Drummondo [Mike] (First Ever Writer Of The Month)
October '04-Phoebus [Jay] (First & Only to Win Same Month Registered)
November '04-The Hurt Within [Steve]
December '04-Falloutboy [Menry]
January '05-Init4thefashion [Jude]
February '05-Stellar_Legs [Randy]
March '05-Until_It_Sleeps [Jez]
April '05-Something_Vague [Matt]
May '05-Saam16 [Sammie]
June '05-ColdFrontAttack, lessthanthat, LOOKtheskyfell [Derek/Mikey/Ben]
July '05-Something_Vague [Matt] (First Second Time Winner)
August '05-CallMeASafeBet [Jess] (First Female WOTM)
September '05-ColdfrontAttack [Derek]
October '05-Scousertommy [Ronan]
November '05-Jallas [Alice]
December '05-HendrixEdge [Will]
January '06- Pixiesfanyo! [Jared]
Febuary '06- SilenceEvolves [Corey]
March '06- Thepickups [Glenn/Conner]
April '06- #1 Synth [Dylan]
May '06- Pooch01 [Antoine]
June '06- Something_Vague [Matt] (First Three Time Winner)
July '06- TrigFunction [Mike]
August '06- Jammydude44 [Jamie]
September '06- Carmel [Carmel]
October '06- less than that [Mike]
November '06- streetcarp19 [BJ]
December '06- LOOKtheskyfell! [Ben]
January '07- SilenceEvolves [Corey]
February '07- Retribution [James]
March '07- Rushmore [Matthew]
April '07- Stellar_Legs, knife2agunfight [Randy/Jesse]
May '07- Carmel, NGD1313 [Carmel/Nick]
June '07- The Hurt Within, Something Vague [Steve/Matt]
July '07- Stellar_Legs [Randy]
August '07- Confusius [Kyrl]
September '07- Phantom1 [Joris]
October '07- Streetcarp19 [BJ]
November '07- punchupatatigge [Teg]
December '07- Skagitup [Alex]
January '08 - we have sound [Chris]
February '08 - Phantom1 [Joris]
March '08 - ZanasCross [Zach]
April '08 - freshtunes [Nick]
May '08 - Ottoavist [Kent]
June '08 - SomeoneYouKnew
July '08 - #1_synth [Dylan]
August '08 - Billyjson [Jacob]
September '08 - Dæmönika, pixiesfanyo [Mike/Jared]
October '08 - The Hurt Within [Steve]
November '08 - culex-knight [Cory]
December '08 - rushmore [Matthew]
January '09 - circular.parade [Mathieu]
February '09 - ottoavist [Kent]
March '09 - Carmel [Carmel]
April '09 - jiminizzle [Jimmy]
May '09 - ZanasCross [Zach]
June '09 - we have sound [Chris]
July '09 - SubwayToVenus [Ryan]
August '09 - Laces Out Danny []
September '09 - Rushmore [Matthew]
October '09 - NGD1313 [Nick]





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Old 12-18-2007, 04:50 AM   #2
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Writing of the Week: Contents pt. 1


These should be in a rough order


So Young Yet So Childish - Written by mmm... Ice
I am Painting and Annette is an Artist - Written by ScarredFaith
Dead or Dreaming - Written by LOOKtheskyfell!
Breath and Cigarettes - Written by Ad*Astra
Marrow Ocean - Written by rushmore
Trading Blows for Highway Crashes - Written by We Have Sound
Wake - Written by Peeno
Feast of the Necromancer - Written by Daemonika
My Name is Henry Thomas - Written by SixTwentySeven
Muffled Snakes Coil Into Rocks - Written by Nevermorepsalm
Stars - Written by Alk 3 addict
I Hate Tourists - Written by NGD1313
Walls - Written by Jammydude44
Poem on the Back of Your Wallet Photograph - Written by *truly ninja*
On California - Written by pixiesfanyo
The Little Things Controlled by the Breeze - Written by Trig Function
The Chiffarobe - Written by Chak
Gehenna - Written by The Hurt Within
Peripherals - Written by Bassbeat77
The End - Written by less than that
And I Drift Away - Written by Alk 3 addict
I - Written by #1 Synth
Awaiting Exile (Parting With This Auburn Sky) - Written by Z_Cup_Boy
24 14 4+4+6 2 1 sonnet 1 2 6+4+4 14 24 - Written by Gurgle!Argh!
Perilous Machine - Written by We Have Sound
Foxy Foxy & Rory Have Their First Kiss - Written by Something_Vague
Untitled - Written by NGD1313
Gallows Humor - Written by less than that
The Circle Re-Connects - Written by BigFatSandwich
Mornings - Written by Carmel
Waxman and the Museum of Wicks - Written by Snowblind911
flutterby butterfly - Written by Arthur Curry
Cynicism - Written by Grovermans
Untitled - Written by Jammydude44
"Christmas Western, 1917" - Written by stellar_legs
The Inevitability - Written by Daemonika
Barcelona, Summer '07 - Written by We Have Sound
audio? - Written by Spike 8bkp
Trist - Written by Leonheart
clair de lune - Written by punchupatatigge
Cupid, the ******ed archer - Written by Bleed Away
I have a sister named Sestina and a brother named Vers Libre - Written by Samoo
Excerpts from the book of wisdom Removed
Frog, Mrs. Rabbit, And Pelican All Look For... - Written by Something_Vague
Parallax - Written by Snowblind 911
october, 1951 - Written by Fugazirancid
I need a drink - Written by cubs
J.W Fosdick and Emily Young - Written by freshtunes
Alcoholism 101 - Written by clichealias
Plastic Silverware - Written by rushmore
Lottery - Written by less than that
Advice For The Next Time You Get Writers Block; Must Read - Written by Auals
Woman - Written by we_have_sound
Smother - Written by DorkusMalorkus
"Brother, I've never been much of a pacifist" - Written by Bleed Away
How Many Licks does it Take to Get to the Center of a Gigawatt? - Written by BigBirdFan
Crucifix Blues - Written by themarsvolta
Call It "Unrequited" - Written by My Name is Pete
Liquid Genes - Written by AngryGoldfish
Ms. Apt Diagnosis - Written by Androgyne
Sierpinski Triangle - Written by burnobus7337
Anosmic - Written by Carmel
July Predator - Written by Bleed_Away
Woof Woof, Bang Bang - Written by #1 synth
Mindy, would you still love me if I shot you and took your money? - Written by Thomasoman
sky soul such sad - Written by skagitup



Please continue to next post.
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Old 12-18-2007, 05:13 AM   #3
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Writing of the Week: Contents pt. 2




because bored narcissism beats tired contrition every time - Written by hope's downfall
"Singing Loudon Wainwright III Songs At Kareoke With..." - Written by Stellar_Legs
The Best I Can Give Is 2% - Written by Fly, Marlowe
North and West - Written by Spike_8bkp
Soundwave Erosions - Written by themarsvolta
Pleurals - Written by Dæmönika
The Thirteenth Step - Written by culex-knight
Face down in the river... - Written by NinjaMonkey767
Revolution - Written by Carmel
(1/f)=(1/p)+(1/q) - Written by ZanasCross
Stephanie - Written by Bassbeat77
Relating - Written by The Hurt Within
(i) mr. pensitivity and the wailing so and so's - Written by Rushmore
New England Clam Chowder - Written by haunted_engines
Eulogy for a Beach Bunny - Written by NGD1313
For Those Who Live - Written by sre9981
when all the oceans dry up a boat is still a boat - Written by Snowblind 911
Woodchips and Playgrounds - Written by Ebshabutiee
the mirage suite. - Written by NGD1313
the former years. - Written by ottoavist
s.a.d - Written by Jammydude44
Comma - Written by rockergirl1122
a he and a she inside a city - Written by skagitup
tiny planes (piece removed by author) - Written by phantom1
Seasonal, Seasonal - Written by Jammydude44
Andrew and Angela are laid on his bed. - Written by seventh_angel
good morning, GOOD MORNING - Written by cubs
January 14th, 2009 - Written by ColdFrontAttack
a dream. - Written by Something_Vague
A Harmonic Pinch - Written by streetcarp19
aluminum bitten roof. - Written by freshtunes
Lady. - Written by Carmel
The Run - Written by Phoebus
orchestral maneuvers in the dark - Written by Arthur Curry
floodplains and coffee. - Written by Ebshabutiee
the cotton to weave - Written by spike_8bkp
the sarcophagus. - Written by #1_synth
abattoir full of ******ed children - Written by Something_Vague
Sir Thomas the Quiet - Written by ZanasCross
Hard of Fearing - Written by Dæmönika
Funeral - Written by FunkasPuck
The Scarf - Written by ndakasimba
Good Ol' Suburbia - Written by bluesybilly
table manners. - Written by Carmel
black balsam. - Written by we have sound
baptism.rebirth.uglybluebird. (a roadtrip) - Written by NGD1313
blackness, part two - Written by DigUpHerBones
eleven:eleven - Written by ottoavist
sweet eveningtime. - Written by we have sound
Freddie Freeloader - Written by SubwayToVenus
Rose and Whoever the Groom Is - Written by Hesh
Antarcticism - Written by SubwayToVenus
The Writing Room - Written by circular.parade
Mrs. Pipe - Written by Something_Vague
wool hat - Written by rushmore
to live and die in verona - Written by NGD1313
Gasoline Fumes and Tea Parties aka 18 Reasons to Just Keep Driving - Written by Jimmy388
I just need a minute - Written by Ebshabutiee
Implications - Written by hippieboy444
warbonds - Written by NGD1313
Cigarettequette Lessons at the Adair County Mansion - Written by stellar_legs
Africa - Written by Bleed Away
distance - Written by ottoavist
Watching Clocks - Written by Jammydude44
the pains of being pure at heart - Written by jiminizzle
god bless the outlaws - Written by SilenceEvolves
Out of State License Plates - Written by D&DLover

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Old 12-18-2007, 05:19 AM   #4
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So Young Yet So Childish
Written by: mmm... ice

And as we walked she said
Dear we reek of sex and caviar
As I replied we were soaked by chamapgne rain
I only managed to mutter well we should be caged

Don't say you care because only I do
Don't remember me i'm easily forgetable
I'm a poet who is deaf, dumb and blind
I was left standing for a while so I turned and decided to melt

And if you would like to know
I was surprised at the calmness of this broken man
It shocked me more then killed me
But I still can't blink and breathe

But believe me I did it because you shouldn't know
But I still like you just not as much as anyother
I find it funny that you walked out like that
You didn't need to I would have held the door

And honey dear tell my friend to come on up
Ignore us we'll be swell, dandy and fine
You have to go out give me my independence
It's just you can't see us together
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Old 12-18-2007, 01:48 PM   #5
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I am Painting and Annette is an Artist
Written by: ScarredFaith

There's a place between the hostess stand
And table three
Where I used to hold Annette's hand
The consequences be damned
And it is true
That I was bold, once
When she was cold I would hand her my coat
And suffer in the winter air
And if I ever shivered it was because of her
Well, I saw Annette yesterday
She came into work to talk to a friend of hers
But I am not a friend
I am a mural of a memory of what it was like to be cold
And have someone care enough
To shiver for you





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Old 12-18-2007, 02:35 PM   #6
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Dead or Dreaming
Written by: LOOKtheskyfell!

Every night when I lay my head these silhouettes won?t let me rest
They toss and turn into my dreams they make me see they?re good enough for me
They catch themselves within the brook that handles my hair and cuddles my books
With words and phrases that I don?t mean and imperfect conceptions of the birds and the bees

And every night in my dreams these little vermin run around
Making sounds and going down in history as one of the scariest sights in town

Then every day when I wake up, I smell the scent of love
Because when you?re dead or dreaming, there?s no one you can trust

Every room across the earth is colored the same shade of s.hit
And all the children from Juno to Perth are convinced that ghosts don?t exist
Well you try falling for a moving target, a girl who dates in the grocery market
A derailed train insane in the brain with a passionate kiss to make a couch a tryst
And then you?ll see that ghosts are real and monsters too can make you feel
Sometimes and somewhere, somehow and someway
These little thoughts will escape on a subway
And jump aboard a suicide car soon to enter your head and exit my heart
This is what was determined right from the start when I kissed her on the cheek and I kissed her hard

And every night in my dreams these fairies wave their wands
Making fantasies out of wishes and skyscrapers out of swamps

Then every day when I wake up, I smell the scent of death
Because when you?re dead or dreaming, there?s only false living left


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Old 12-18-2007, 02:45 PM   #7
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Breath and Cigarettes
Written by: Ad*Astra

The most graceful thing I'd ever met,
slender, out of breath and cigarettes.
In the dark, whispering phantoms
from her cold and die cut silhouette,
she says, "I've got a few regrets
I wouldn't trade for the world."



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Old 12-18-2007, 02:58 PM   #8
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Marrow Ocean
Written by: rushmore

When the ship started sinking; we were there holding our
lunch boxes, skipping stones, talking about staying a float
and we didn't know why our tongue tied declarations came
out sounding like hot air balloons deflating, but someone
told us to stop shooting shit and get our bodies on deck.

So we commandeered the tugboat in the middle of a marrow
ocean anchored with empty bones tied to telephone poles
connecting the north and south dakotas but no one else in between.
Tin can telephones, wrinkled roots with no mouths just beaks
holding up the trees, steadfast and easy, you won't last trust me its freezing.
A petticoat dreams of stitched seams but all you've got is rags and
thread but no needles just limbs that you've forgotten how to use.
So you sit all day pretending life is a contest and that you're winning
but really you're just waiting
for someone to sweep you off your feet.

Duck your head before the drawbridge because we're drawing close
and the archers are shooting with bullets not arrows.
Hallelujah its easier said than done,
searching for salvation not seeking revenge is the best way to waste your life.
So come sit here with me and think about nothing before the
plane starts crashing or the
ship starts sinking or you waste anymore of your life alone.

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Old 12-18-2007, 03:07 PM   #9
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Trading Blows for Highway Crashes
Written by: We Have Sound

A cocaine explosion rocks the delicately structured back alleys,
and an epic battle ensues.
Flames lick the snow and tender toxic fumes spread wide.
Take a deep breath. Prepare for heaven.
But don't die yet.
Lay back under sweet sweet blankets of unconsciousness.
Watch the black sun and the black sky fight,
for control of the contrast.
For your focus. Give it. Raging demons crush the panorama,
and the stand off ends,
with neither side capturing colour.
Sea blue, see red, watch the flames lick. Lick.
Sink.
This Mr. Hyde takes a bite of the steroid ridden love machine,
and ends up loving love itself, in a very violent attack.
Spin circles in dust with white fingers.
Try and fathom the place your mind lingers.

Can't work it out say **** **** where am I? Watch the orange.
Peel. Like, away, at the broken skin. Skeeeeen.
**** I said shiiit, gotta come up, gotta surface.
No.

A submarine's ups and downs make you sick,
but you don't remember.
Sail the sea looking for a lost memory,
but its buried on the island not marked "X".
It shouldn't be hard to find.
It's the only one.

This angel wears his tuxedo like a cloak of light,
and fights evil all around the globe, all over sky.
He fights satan in an astral boxing ring
and wins round after round after round.
Thoughs of the afterlife. Oh my, we're in trouble now.
God throws junkies out of heaven like rats,
like rats.
So crawl around on all fours and beg for forgiveness,
while around you the city works,
its after-dark allure keeping many ill faithed citizens awake.
The scum walk the trade routes,
pass judgement on the product. This, now this,
this is what we would call a problem.
Hear the noises.
Bring her up, captain.

Pilot the craft with care, i said care, you know. I told you not to burn her out,
and now it hurts, man, **** it hurts. Things come back slowly,
like rising out of the dark pitch and **** all I know now is this hurts.
Sounds like cars drive into my ears and, damn, its loud.
But I don't wanna lose this now baby, don't wanna sink again.
I'm cold, cold like the concrete against my cheek. Eyes, check,
we have visual. This is dank. man, dank.

Gotta get up. Can't stay here, no no no. Got stuff to do, you know ?
Gotta get out, about, anywhere.

Gotta find the next hit, so I can sink all over again.

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Old 12-18-2007, 03:19 PM   #10
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Wake
Written by: Peeno

WordsLetters, symbols
fall apart in the wake of
the sun. Days gone undone
(suddenbreath), for some.

Hardened on the cold ground
by a Moon's wonderful love.
brought to Life by morninglight
:hopefull, bright.

Parchd to dust, figure retains
by ultraRed stars of noon.

Falling apart in the wake, again.

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Old 12-18-2007, 03:28 PM   #11
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Feast of the Necromancer
Written by: Daemonika

The Doorkeeper whispered a wise word in my ear
but the beating of the timpanis muffled them.
They became no more than an annoying haze
of forgotten days. Wellsmen bore holes in to
the ground, searching for the water they
hadn’t seen before. I lifted an eyebrow at their practices,
not because they were bad, but because they existed.

A bird flew from a blue bush, a burning bush, a dying bush.
Father, Son, Holy Spirit, said the priest, although
he was looking elsewhere. He had his gaze skyward,
expectant for a miracle. It never came; do they ever when they’re asked for?

The green sea sank below the horizon, hidden by mountains,
snowy and tall. The Masked Marauder on a red horse flew
with a flaming sword in its hilt. I could smell
his charring flesh as he went by. It was appetising.
From the cave, dark as night, the beast emerged, white fangs
dripped blood, thick, upon the rocky ground. The Masked Marauder
pulled out his sword and swung it at the neck of the beast, severing
its head from its body. The Doorkeeper whispered again,
and this time I heard what he said.
He said, The smartest men are the men who can play fools
and never be noticed; they are smart men.

The wishing well was overflowing and the Wellsmen celebrated,
drinking themselves to near-death. The deceased rose up
and jumped and sang. On top of the highest mountain
the Widowmaker sneered. ‘Twas a black smile,
and his snake-tongue licked the cold air.
His child had been felled by a fool on a red horse.
What greater warning for a God-fearing people than a dead priest
on the church steps?
The Widowmaker sat patiently, waiting, until the celebrations ceased
and the priest locked up the church.

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Old 12-20-2007, 04:36 AM   #12
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My Name is Henry Thomas
Written by: SixTwentySeven

He said
"Hey, man.
My name is Henry Thomas."

There was something
In the way he said,
"I'm not from around here"
that told me he was.
He said
"My car...
Broke down."
His eyes made
A perfect circle
Through the back of his mind

"I'm just looking
For a little something
To get me out of here."


I handed him less than a dollar in change, and thought
"You and me both."

Yeah, you and me both, Hank.

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Old 12-20-2007, 04:38 AM   #13
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Muffled Snakes Coil Into Rocks
Written by: NevermorePsalm

I once fell down and discovered the other side of the earth
But I only thought of it as a learning experience
As we only grow due to the scrapes on our knees
And we only learn to hum because of the bee's
Although I then thought of all the birds
And came to the conclusion I've never had that talk
So I sowed shut my mouth and died,
Just as we began to walk.

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Old 12-20-2007, 04:40 AM   #14
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Stars
Written by: Alk 3 addict

I climbed up a street lamp,
to sit on the top.
Reassuring myself with
"Hey, you're now fifteen feet
closer to the stars."
Stars that I could hardly see,
no one turns their lights out
in suburbia.

Maybe I don't want to be
an astronaut, anyways,
I'm just tired of the routines
and, well, this place.

I tie my shoes to the lamp
and promise that tomorrow,
I'll climb right back up,
but my memory's never been
too reliable. I'll probably just sleep,
that's all I'm capable of, now.

I guess I'd rather sit and dream,
than see the planets, first-hand.
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Old 12-20-2007, 04:43 AM   #15
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I Hate Tourists
Written by: NGD1313

So I spent this last week away from home
Someplace foreign, I guess
If you could call it that

The sun was unbearable
I don't know why people like it so much
All it ever does is kill you anyway

The people were even worse
Why is it so crazy that I didn't live there?
We can't all live in the same place

I suppose it's interesting when someone who's seen something you haven't shows up
I don't get it, but they did, you can bet they did
I hate tourists

I spent six hours on a plane
There wasn't any screaming babies or slutty stewardesses
I don't believe everything I see in movies anyway

When I got back, my whole family was waiting
This girl I'm sorta in love with was there, she was crying
She's pretty when she cries

I asked her what was wrong, she said she'd missed me
Can't imagine why she did though
It's not like I'm all that great

Everyone else had questions
"Was the weather ok?"
"Did you see any sights?"
"How was your flight?"
I didn't get what the big fuss was about
I suppose it's interesting when someone who's seen something you haven't shows up
But I didn't answer any of their questions
I hate tourists
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Old 12-20-2007, 04:44 AM   #16
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Walls
Written by: Jammydude44

We'd spent our time together,
with cement-covered hands
and trowels and mixers
building our wall, brick by brick.
We had taken down the
scaffolding poles and planks-
the wall was finished;
they held no use.

Into summer, when the sun
caresses the sky into
a warming smile, our wall
stood proudly amongst others.
They were just pretenders
compared to ours, we thought.

Predictably, the thunderstorms
came, blustering and pounding
upon the solid stature. Exploding
in the sky, cannoning, destroying
what we'd crafted together. The
aftermath left us open mouthed.

Neither of us moved to fix it.
I saw you stare, as I did, at the
large pile of rubble on the ground.
It remained like that for many months;
passers-by flashing a rue smile
at our obvious, poor workmanship.

I spoke first- let's rebuild.

So having learned from past mistakes
we built this wall with better bricks,
and many storms have blown and gone
but our wall stands, now tall and strong.
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Old 12-20-2007, 04:45 AM   #17
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Poem on the Back of Your Wallet Photograph
Written by: *Truly Ninja*

I am sure you would appreciate
That you hold my place in books.
After all, I always attempted to woo
You with the written word.

What I won't admit is this:
Every time you tumble from the pages
Onto my bedsheets, I softly pinch the
Corner and I lift you to my lips.

Your cautious smile overtook me
Once, and I did it without thinking.
I've always done it since--Tradition
Mingled with dying desire.

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Old 12-20-2007, 04:46 AM   #18
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On California
Written by: pixiesfanyo

tether awkward glances
above a satisfied reprise.
i cut my futures out of paper.
placed them into a river bed.
cast line into my prospects.
but my father keeps taking my hand,
his breath heavy with cheap beer
and saturated fats.
his fingers over mine
guiding that feeble line
i clutch with blushed palms.

switch to a crowded dinner table.
i itch in uncontrollable lonesome.
packaging letters in my mind.
the conversations around me
reek of politics and pop culture
but, i’m just counting days
until i see yr chicory frame.
would you write me back
and tell me what it is like to be in love?
because stale liquors and broken tabs
only seem to go so far.

i have my knees curled to my chest
with ease on the dock.
my hands ripe with labor
feeling faded in yet another summer’s
endless choke.
my eyes heavy with stray change
i sit making paper crowns
from torn fates with my feet
dipped in an endless pond
of my own construction.

wondering if my reel has been spent
like a boy, if i let that catch back to sea.
and with baited hooks
i trace every moon line
hoping to forget myself
in the amusement of tasks.
but every evening my rod lays in reflection.
laid in empty harbors
my own lace of self entrapment unravels
and i stare doe-eyed into my desolation.
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Old 12-20-2007, 04:49 AM   #19
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The Little Things Controlled by the Breeze
Written by: Trig Function

The smoke swayed with the bend of the waves
I felt stranger in the warmth of the days.
Hard to breathe, can't believe
I saw my eyes floating in the crest of the reeds.

But maybe, if i began to see
the little things controlled be the breeze
I'd know, willows can swirl
next to the hazy tides of the world.

And in deep, far beneath
I watched my body fall away with the sea.
Beat down, tossed around
I didn't feel pain until I'd already drowned.
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Old 12-20-2007, 04:51 AM   #20
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The Chiffarobe
Written by: Chak

He was haunted with an overbearing
commitment to make me feel worthless.
A joker amongst kings, their collars
studded with beryl and corundum. He
felt empowered, fueled with synthetic
freedom, but everything he touched
turned immediately to stone. More
gray then the mourning of the Sun,
but if its light warms my skin perhaps
I can retain a shred of hope.

I have yet to see this compromise
that holds me captive to uncertainty.
And I already held more guilt than
I could handle, struck with the chord
of fragrant restraint. His anger felt the
mark of scrutiny, townspeople fretted in
obligatory hunger for the truth. But loyalty
proves more powerful than honesty. A
pinprick mapping the base of my spine
sends signals for my hair to stand on end.

I was in awe. His shadow proved more
enchanting than my father’s unrequited
respect. He was the faith in which I granted
my cautious attention. Wanted in a world I did
not belong. He made me feel like the most
translucent of diamonds, felt patterns within
my soul and reflected them through starlight.
I felt breathless, invincible. Immersed in the
compliance of my naivety, which I overcame with
error in my ways. And I became a traitor that day.

Regret thudded hard against my ribcage.
Bruised. And I looked past my father to truth,
where my answer predictably fell short.
I condemned him to a life that was undeserved,
cast him into the shadow of shame. My failure
is refracted within the barrel of a gun, used to
destroy acceptance among people I could never
know. Strangers, not quite friends, in which
I trusted more than blood.

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