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Coldplay Want To Open A Theme Park
artist: coldplay	date: 02/23/2012	category: general music news

rating: 2.3 / votes: 16

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After being named Best British Group at BRIT Awards, Coldplay admitted that there next plan was to open a theme park.

Speaking backstage after the awards, frontman Chris Martin said: "Oh, [it means] everything."

"All we want to do now is release a fragrance, open a few restaurants and open a theme park, JLS-style. We're hoping to have it tied up by 2016, look out for that."

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In other news, Chris Martin has said that his band only triumphed at Brit Awards because there wasn't any other competition.

They beat Arctic Monkeys, Kasabian, Elbow and Chase And Status to take home the gong for Best British Group, but the singer insisted it was because they were the only choice "left on the pitch" for people to vote for.

He told the Daily Mirror:

"To be honest, most British bands have split up. Blur have gone, Pulp have gone, Take That are on holiday, we're the only British band left on the pitch! But we'll take that."

Thanks for the report to Gigwise.com.

POSTED: 02/23/2012 - 05:46 am

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comments policy 80 comments posted, 9 removed | this article is 90% spam-free

+83

WhoAMEye wrote on 02/23/2012 - 05:55 am / quote |

A Coldplay Theme Park...

The Depressingiest Place on Earth

Will the roller-coaster just get to the top and then gently meander around a few bends before coming to a stop leaving the passengers underwhelmed and confused?

District wrote on 02/23/2012 - 05:56 am / quote |

A Coldplay fragrance... haha funny guy.

+15

pomes wrote on 02/23/2012 - 05:56 am / quote |

Is this entire article a joke?

SheKILaDZE wrote on 02/23/2012 - 06:30 am / quote |

another backward-ass joke from Chris Martin and people are like, "not sure if serious -.-"

-1

DaniArrow wrote on 02/23/2012 - 06:30 am / quote |

Hahaha nice one!

+12

mattyp90 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 06:38 am / quote |

It's a joke.

The jokes themselves aren't funny, but the people coming on here taking it seriously are hilarious.

The jokes will keep coming and UG will keep posting them until that 75% of UGers cease to be so gullible.

On topic, Coldplay's album was good but this year they probably shouldn't have won. Then again neither should the other candidates on that list IMO. Arctic Monkeys and ELbow were a bit sub-par on latest albums.

jannick wrote on 02/23/2012 - 06:50 am / quote |

not so sure its a joke... when you got foo-fighters jumping a spaceshuttle to record in space and an original guns'n'roses reuinion, anything in the music industry can happen.

and good people, everything IS happening.

-13

jannick wrote on 02/23/2012 - 06:52 am / quote |

on a side note.
i hate their music like any other with at least half a brain. but at least these guys admit that their music sucks... cool guys. bad music.

+14

Motorhed95 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 07:25 am / quote |

Does nobody else think he's being sarcastic?

-6

MarkSlayer2009 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 07:30 am / quote |

I've got a better idea, concentrate on writing some good songs instead of wasting time with a ****ing theme park.

sapanda wrote on 02/23/2012 - 07:50 am / quote |

Pretend the fragrance does happen though...

"Buy the new Chris Martin fragrance! All proceeds go to building the Coldplay Park".

But what in the name of God happened to their music! There's gonna be absolutely no mention of it.

-4

leohimself wrote on 02/23/2012 - 07:50 am / quote |

Chase & Status' "No More Idols" album was great, way better than what Coldplay has done for the last 10 years.

MrPollyphonic wrote on 02/23/2012 - 07:57 am / quote |

Arctic Monkeys are way better than Coldplay

+26

spiff-corgi wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:02 am / quote |

Coldplay admitted that there next plan was to open a theme park.

Do I have to be this guy? The guy that points out that the writer of the article doesn't known which "there" to use.

spiff-corgi wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:04 am / quote |

Wonder if going on one of the loops on the roller coasters would give you a rush of blood to the head. I had to be that guy too, didn't I. I ****ing hate myself.

-6

yaronbeery wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:18 am / quote |

why won't they concentrate on trying to write a decent song instead of opening a theme park?

+12

Jasonbts wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:25 am / quote |

"We're the only British band left on the pitch! But we'll take that."

Muse and Radiohead.

-4

Schofey wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:26 am / quote |

WhoAMEye wrote:

A Coldplay Theme Park...

The Depressingiest Place on Earth

Will the roller-coaster just get to the top and then gently meander around a few bends before coming to a stop leaving the passengers underwhelmed and confused?

Very good

-1

crzycrz wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:41 am / quote |

This shall be the most boring theme park in the world

LeakyFlask wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:53 am / quote |

I think you're mixing up the UG staff with offensive generalizations of the UG user base.

BillyRamone wrote on 02/23/2012 - 09:25 am / quote |

No.

-6

come2gether wrote on 02/23/2012 - 09:33 am / quote |

You can call their music boring if you want. Chances are they have hotter wives than you, more money than you and will be remembered by the world though you will not be. Sucks to get a reality check doesn't it metalheads?

iommi600 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 10:33 am / quote |

So what? Eric Cartman also opened a theme park once...

And, the most amazing thing: people were not allowed to enter!

-2

iommi600 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 10:35 am / quote |

come2gether wrote:

You can call their music boring if you want. Chances are they have hotter wives than you, more money than you and will be remembered by the world though you will not be. Sucks to get a reality check doesn't it metalheads?

Yeah... let's assume you're a member of Coldplay using UG. If not, you probably have a ugly girlfriend, you're broken and no one cares about you, just like all your metalhead friends...

jhart08 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 10:47 am / quote |

welcome to Douchebagworld!!

Twistedrock wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:02 am / quote |

If I wanted to be a rich arsehole I'd go into a different industry, dipshit.

-2

jetfuel495 m wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:08 am / quote |

Not gonna lie, Mylo Xyloto would make an awesome soundtrack to a theme park.

-2

JimBonJovi wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:09 am / quote |

How about a new and better album first?!

mitchy86 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:14 am / quote |

i bet that coldplay fragrance smells just like virginity

BassFishin wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:22 am / quote |

It will be the world's most average theme park. It'll be average AS HELL!

+12

link no1 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:24 am / quote |

If I wanted to be remembered as the most boring guys/band on earth then your statement would bother me...

Besides, even if they do have hotter girlfreinds than me (I personally don't think their girlfreinds are that hot) I still have a bonus card to play...my girlfriend is far hotter than your non-existant girlfriend

-1

js81221 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 12:04 pm / quote |

New, from Gorgio Armani: Moldspray--I-I-I mean ColdPlay, fragrance of divinity.

doojamaflip wrote on 02/23/2012 - 12:05 pm / quote |

its a joke calm down.
anyway why do you people hate so much. respect their music and any other music. im not sayin you have to like it but just be tolerant. i like all the bands who were nomited for the award. and i didnt want one direction to win a award but i didn't have a fit on UG when they did so people... SIMMER THE F*CK DOWN.

-2

dynastywest69 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 12:05 pm / quote |

They will probably copy alton towers theme park...

Just like they copy songs.

-2

doojamaflip wrote on 02/23/2012 - 12:08 pm / quote |

Coldplay i like ur work but remember MUSE are on that pitch and they are mutch better than you guys

rPOWELL1251 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 12:17 pm / quote |

Sarcasm goes over so many peoples heads.

Salvo416 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 12:24 pm / quote |

It will be para... para... paradise.

Anemo wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:20 pm / quote |

wat

-2

Camron62\m/ wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:21 pm / quote |

Coldplay. wtf. really. they started sucking after 2005.

nailsarecruel wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:30 pm / quote |

spiff-corgi wrote:

Coldplay admitted that there next plan was to open a theme park.
Do I have to be this guy? The guy that points out that the writer of the article doesn't known which "there" to use.

Your right.

-1

come2gether wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:37 pm / quote |

Lin no. 1. You're from England where the best music always has come from and you're "a metalhead and proud of it". That is all I need to know about your retarded ass. Loser. As if one guy chugging away at power chords while another sweep picks and taps his way through some pointlessly complex line for a few hours isn't boring as hell.

-1

)v(egaFan90 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:38 pm / quote |

Yeah, they're opening a brand new type of roller coaster, but it 'borrows' pieces from other amusement parks' roller coasters.

necrosis1193 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:38 pm / quote |

Not sure if the writer can't detect sarcasm through British accent, or if the entire article is a joke...

-5

come2gether wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:53 pm / quote |

.....Oh and that bald headed scale player satriani should be happy IF indeed they did take the four chords (that he owns?) in music and write a good song. Would Joe Satriani get recognized if he walked through a mall? A high school? A college campus? A fancy restaurant? Maybe bye a handful of people, but come on people. You should be able to admit that whether you like them or not, writng great pop songs (again whether you like them or not, if they are successful and they write them themselves, WHICH THEY DO) they deserve the attention and the praise. Satriani has been playing guitar since before the guys from Coldplay were born, and he has squat to show for it except the love and adulation of a bunch of pasty-skinned *******s who think any band that sells a lot of copies is a sell out. Please go slit your wrists if you are in that category.

Sparky-MMA wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:56 pm / quote |

the most depressing place on earth then :/

kevindm215 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 01:57 pm / quote |

lmfao made my day good sir!

-2

Mulldarran wrote on 02/23/2012 - 02:00 pm / quote |

Best British Group? Please... Iron Maiden should win that every ****ing year.

Baconfish wrote on 02/23/2012 - 02:16 pm / quote |

jannick wrote:

on a side note.
i hate their music like any other with at least half a brain. but at least these guys admit that their music sucks... cool guys. bad music.

Do you genuinely hate their music or do you merely dislike it? It's not like it's unlistenable.

MidniteHaze wrote on 02/23/2012 - 02:35 pm / quote |

They gotta entertain fans somehow..

Ubergrue wrote on 02/23/2012 - 02:49 pm / quote |

Made my day. Thank you, good sir.

-2

kornflipsk8er wrote on 02/23/2012 - 02:57 pm / quote |

I don't know about anyone else but the first time I heard of this band, even before I heard any of their songs,the name.Coldplay.It just makes me think of a dead fish being thrown around like a match of hot potato.

-2

HeavyMetalRock wrote on 02/23/2012 - 03:07 pm / quote |

the only ride in that theme park would be Chris Martin

ffaf_kick_ass wrote on 02/23/2012 - 03:21 pm / quote |

Jasonbts wrote:

"We're the only British band left on the pitch! But we'll take that."

Muse and Radiohead.

Maiden?

-1

MattyMo300 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 04:19 pm / quote |

they'd probably just steal six flag's ideas..

-2

SoA_Joseph wrote on 02/23/2012 - 04:33 pm / quote |

their*

Musefan161 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 05:06 pm / quote |

... IN SPACE!!!

-3

ehopes wrote on 02/23/2012 - 05:57 pm / quote |

It's pretty sad when you look at U.K. music pre-1975 and now 37 years later the only band on the pitch is coldplay.

I like some of their deliberate, pop for the sake of pop music, but I still think other bands deserve more recognition. Muse and radiohead were already mentioned, but I also like Basement Jaxx ,the Chemical Brothers, David Holmes, Pet Shop Boys, Hundred Reasons. Coldplay is popular because the stupid sheep in the west are falling for the same pop marketing crap that only one band from the UK can make it cross the pond. The Beatles(60s), Led Zeppelin(70s), Queen(80s), Oasis(90s), and now them.

If more UK bands had the exposure that these guys have had in the west, we would obviously never allow these guys on the pitch ever again.

-1

MrDo0m wrote on 02/23/2012 - 06:05 pm / quote |

Sir, you have written one of the funniest comments I've read on this site.

-1

Joey Radical wrote on 02/23/2012 - 06:06 pm / quote |

Chris is probably just trolling as usual

Reign77 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 07:52 pm / quote |

nailsarecruel wrote:

spiff-corgi wrote:

Coldplay admitted that there next plan was to open a theme park.
Do I have to be this guy? The guy that points out that the writer of the article doesn't known which "there" to use.

Your right.

I see what you did their

$hithappen$16 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 08:20 pm / quote |

My insatiable hunger for humor has been satisfied

-1

guitarlover14 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 09:38 pm / quote |

A theme park? yeah that going to canceled before this summer even if they work some progess to it, the theme park might be call the coldstation.

-1

wizbangtez wrote on 02/23/2012 - 10:27 pm / quote |

I wonder if all the rides will be yellow?

-1

Miyagi84 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:21 pm / quote |

Coldplay wants to open a theme park... and I'm sure theres a crazy person who thinks its okay to eat their feces... just because you have an idea, that doesn't mean that it's going to be good.

limpidgreen345 wrote on 02/23/2012 - 11:22 pm / quote |

You must be this sensitive to ride -----

nnb wrote on 02/24/2012 - 12:30 am / quote |

"To be honest, most British bands have split up. Blur have gone, Pulp have gone, Take That are on holiday, we're the only British band left on the pitch! But we'll take that."

Yes, because Iron Maiden must be swedish.

-5

come2gether wrote on 02/24/2012 - 12:36 am / quote |

IT TAKES MORE TALENT TO TAKE 4 CHORDS AND WRITE POP/ALT. ROCK HIT SINGLES YEAR AFTER YEAR THAN IT DOES TO SHRED SCALES AND RECYCLE METAL TAPPING RUNS WHILE ANOTHER GUY SCREAMS INTO HIS MICROPHONE. There. It's that simple, metalheads. you don't like 'em? so what. Don't listen to them. But don't sit around on your computers calling them "a commercially-minded pop group with no talent whos music caters to sheep only listening to top 40 radio." That is just plain ignorant. They aren't Nsync, spice girls, taylor swift, beyonce, lady gaga.... Be an ******* to THOSE people. and come on, all their music isn't boring. By saying that, I can only believe that you've heard stuff like Fix You, Yellow, The Scientist and stuff like that. How is it possible to think that Viva La Vida, Lost, Clocks, Lovers in japan, Charlie Brown, and so so many other of their songs and be bored? Oh wait, i know how. Because it's not 200 bpm with some ******* playing pinch harmonics, another pasty white ******* chugging away at a drop-tuned rhythm guitar (most likely Dean or Ibanez), while a third ******* is furiously trying to figure out how many blastbeats he can fit into a verse, and the biggest ******* is moaning gutteral noises into a microphone with lytics about how the world sucks. I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU METALHEADS.

limpidgreen345 wrote on 02/24/2012 - 12:42 am / quote |

come2gether wrote:

IT TAKES MORE TALENT TO TAKE 4 CHORDS AND WRITE POP/ALT. ROCK HIT SINGLES YEAR AFTER YEAR THAN IT DOES TO SHRED SCALES AND RECYCLE METAL TAPPING RUNS WHILE ANOTHER GUY SCREAMS INTO HIS MICROPHONE. There. It's that simple, metalheads. you don't like 'em? so what. Don't listen to them. But don't sit around on your computers calling them "a commercially-minded pop group with no talent whos music caters to sheep only listening to top 40 radio." That is just plain ignorant. They aren't Nsync, spice girls, taylor swift, beyonce, lady gaga.... Be an ***** to THOSE people. and come on, all their music isn't boring. By saying that, I can only believe that you've heard stuff like Fix You, Yellow, The Scientist and stuff like that. How is it possible to think that Viva La Vida, Lost, Clocks, Lovers in japan, Charlie Brown, and so so many other of their songs and be bored? Oh wait, i know how. Because it's not 200 bpm with some ***** playing pinch harmonics, another pasty white ***** chugging away at a drop-tuned rhythm guitar (most likely Dean or Ibanez), while a third ***** is furiously trying to figure out how many blastbeats he can fit into a verse, and the biggest ***** is moaning gutteral noises into a microphone with lytics about how the world sucks. I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU METALHEADS.

Yeah, well, I hate Coldplay and I'm not a metalhead. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Alice2Mudgarden wrote on 02/24/2012 - 12:46 am / quote |

Will the park be called "The Land of Vague Lyrics"?

Ultraussie wrote on 02/24/2012 - 01:05 am / quote |

Moaning gutteral noises into a microphone about how the world sucks is really hard work, have you tried it?
LOL.

Nice generalization of the genre btw.
How many blastbeats can you fit into a verse?
1.

Let's see you survive the moshpit with your attitude.

-1

Ultraussie wrote on 02/24/2012 - 01:06 am / quote |

Will the park be called

"Para, Para, Paradise"?

WGFDarth wrote on 02/24/2012 - 02:03 am / quote |

And they plan to steal the style of Joe Satriani to do it

Just kidding, they'll probably steal from Six flags and the Mall Of America. It will have the same rhythm but different colors.

Scary Guy wrote on 02/24/2012 - 02:54 am / quote |

Ultraussie wrote:

come2gether wrote:

IT TAKES MORE TALENT TO TAKE 4 CHORDS AND WRITE POP/ALT. ROCK HIT SINGLES YEAR AFTER YEAR THAN IT DOES TO SHRED SCALES AND RECYCLE METAL TAPPING RUNS WHILE ANOTHER GUY SCREAMS INTO HIS MICROPHONE. There. It's that simple, metalheads. you don't like 'em? so what. Don't listen to them. But don't sit around on your computers calling them "a commercially-minded pop group with no talent whos music caters to sheep only listening to top 40 radio." That is just plain ignorant. They aren't Nsync, spice girls, taylor swift, beyonce, lady gaga.... Be an ***** to THOSE people. and come on, all their music isn't boring. By saying that, I can only believe that you've heard stuff like Fix You, Yellow, The Scientist and stuff like that. How is it possible to think that Viva La Vida, Lost, Clocks, Lovers in japan, Charlie Brown, and so so many other of their songs and be bored? Oh wait, i know how. Because it's not 200 bpm with some ***** playing pinch harmonics, another pasty white ***** chugging away at a drop-tuned rhythm guitar (most likely Dean or Ibanez), while a third ***** is furiously trying to figure out how many blastbeats he can fit into a verse, and the biggest ***** is moaning gutteral noises into a microphone with lytics about how the world sucks. I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU METALHEADS.

Moaning gutteral noises into a microphone about how the world sucks is really hard work, have you tried it?
LOL.

Nice generalization of the genre btw.
How many blastbeats can you fit into a verse?
1.

Let's see you survive the moshpit with your attitude.

Your a DUMBASS buddy it is so much easier to write some 4 chord pop/rock song than any metal song, because all you need is a hook in the song that is fairly catchy and hence "memorable" enough to make you listen again and again until eventually you won't want to hear it again. And singing metal is much much much harder than what that pasty poof Chris Martin does. Chris Martin even admitted that he can't sing in an interview and no he wasn't joking.

WhoAMEye wrote on 02/24/2012 - 03:13 am / quote |

You need to take about a dozen chill pills dude

iommi600 wrote on 02/24/2012 - 04:23 am / quote |

Love you too.

Now take your ass out of your keyboard... the shitstorm you just delivered here is unbeliavable.

PS: I'm not a metalhead, and Coldplay can suck mine, regardless.

spiff-corgi wrote on 02/24/2012 - 06:13 am / quote |

Reign77 wrote:

nailsarecruel wrote:

spiff-corgi wrote:

Coldplay admitted that there next plan was to open a theme park.
Do I have to be this guy? The guy that points out that the writer of the article doesn't known which "there" to use.

Your right.
I see what you did their

Come on. You guys are better then this.

$hithappen$16 wrote on 02/24/2012 - 08:36 am / quote |

Dude chill out. Smoke some weed and change your tampon. It's not that big of a deal.

KcBrown wrote on 02/24/2012 - 06:55 pm / quote |

Everyone shut up, i like metal and coldplay and think that coldplay and alot of metal bands are really talented. And really stop posting stupid comments criticizing coldplay's music. if you don't like them, then fine stay away from them and dont read articles about them and complain. grief where you're not going to offend people who actually enjoy their music. and honestly, truly, i mean this is the nicest possible way, metalheads are really bad for this, and for one main reason, they're very narrow minded. if it's not metal, it's not good in their mind. and the people who are here just to be *******s, go away and do something productive instead of bashing people.

sapanda wrote on 02/25/2012 - 10:24 am / quote |

come2gether wrote:

IT TAKES MORE TALENT TO TAKE 4 CHORDS AND WRITE POP/ALT. ROCK HIT SINGLES YEAR AFTER YEAR THAN IT DOES TO SHRED SCALES AND RECYCLE METAL TAPPING RUNS WHILE ANOTHER GUY SCREAMS INTO HIS MICROPHONE. There. It's that simple, metalheads. you don't like 'em? so what. Don't listen to them. But don't sit around on your computers calling them "a commercially-minded pop group with no talent whos music caters to sheep only listening to top 40 radio." That is just plain ignorant. They aren't Nsync, spice girls, taylor swift, beyonce, lady gaga.... Be an ***** to THOSE people. and come on, all their music isn't boring. By saying that, I can only believe that you've heard stuff like Fix You, Yellow, The Scientist and stuff like that. How is it possible to think that Viva La Vida, Lost, Clocks, Lovers in japan, Charlie Brown, and so so many other of their songs and be bored? Oh wait, i know how. Because it's not 200 bpm with some ***** playing pinch harmonics, another pasty white ***** chugging away at a drop-tuned rhythm guitar (most likely Dean or Ibanez), while a third ***** is furiously trying to figure out how many blastbeats he can fit into a verse, and the biggest ***** is moaning gutteral noises into a microphone with lytics about how the world sucks. I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU METALHEADS.

I don't have problem with metal or Coldplay, but you can't argue that Coldplay just isn't that great.

Besides you're being a little too generalized because some songs aren't that memorable in metal or in any other type of genre. It's the ones that are memorable that stick out and I haven't heard anything from Coldplay that's memorable

-1

come2gether wrote on 02/26/2012 - 06:35 pm / quote |

About 6 comments back about my post and a total of one was anything more than *******s just trying to defend some other music. Listen, i don't care about what you like and you don't care about what i like. but credit is due where it is due. When Lamb of God, Opeth, In Flames, A7X, Sepultura, Children of Bodom, Six Feet Under, Novembers Doom, Mastodon or Cannibal Corpse goes number one in 25 countries, I'll give them credit. Until then, they are worthless pasty white 25-45 year old video game players who don't deserve to be anywhere but the bargain bin at the Wal-mart.