Welcome to 2035! Twenty-three years ago Ultimate Guitar
posted an article
prompting its readers to fantasize on what the future of music and guitar may look like. Many interesting things happened during these 23 years: UG
has become the second most-visited website in the world (right behind the wildly popular www.porn-drone.chrom
's video "Gangnam Style"
has received 37.000.000.000.000 views on iTube
and lots of other stuff.
And, since the year of 2035 has finally come, it's nice to see whether you were right about the then-future - check out our weekly roundup of cutting-edge music, news and technology to find it out:
continues his bid to make music illegal after copyrighting every note and chord. "People keep playing my notes
," he said, "like music is meant to be some free-for-all party. I own this. What part of copyright law don't you understand?
" Lars continues to be ignored by the Occupy Music movement.
is a mother to octuplets! The former child pop-star-turned-surrogate-mother said her latest batch of singing babies will be ready for shipment in four weeks, a remarkable improvement on last year's eight-week shipment program.
has finally been touched. The winner of the "Can't Touch This
" challenge caught Hammer with a casual high five. A rare fail from the frail but legendary rapper who went quadruple platinum-gold alloy with his "Best Of" hit single in 2032.
Talking of rappers who first hit the scene in the last millennium, Vanilla Ice
has been nominated for the Rock And Roll And Spin And Duck Hall Of Fame
. Ice has been eligible for the ceremony since 2017, but has been snubbed every year. "It's long been established as a popularity contest, but I'll do it for the fans
," he said.
Speculation surrounding Guns N' Roses
forthcoming album "Chinese Democracy II
" continues. Despite pre-orders being available for a staggering 22 years, the album appears no closer to completion despite its original lineup with both Slash
and Axl Rose
reforming and then splitting again, twice, in the interim. Regardless, UG
will update readers on its progress every single day.
is preparing to release "Old A
", a remix of the classic Radiohead
album "Kid A
" but with his trademark elderly crooning.
will follow his 2033 album "Party Hardest
" with the new "Party Harderest
". Fans accuse Andrew of rehashing themes from his popular previous albums "Part Hard
" and "Party Harder
The playable air guitar remains the top-selling item in the lead up to Christmas, though the company Air4Realz who develop the product say a black market in retro wooden guitars (which were previously banned due to illegal wood trading
back in 2012) is affecting their sales, and in turn, the entire economy.
Tickets for The Rolling Stones
25th Annual Farewell Tour will go on sale from next Tuesday, to coincide with the release of "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
will soon offer tickets to its fifth live event, "UG Slams...
" next week. As usual, musicians will talk about their hopes and dreams before UG brings on their peers to tear apart everything they've been working towards.
has cancelled a tour of small alleyways after demand was lower than expected.
Summary: Spoken word metal continues to dominate the chart, though a resurgence in the popularity of "Lulu
" by Metallica
and Lou Reed
is expected to prompt a retro resurgence of music from around 2012. The album was initially overlooked, but after decades of Lou Reed explaining himself, the reality of this record became clear - it's no wonder the album is promoting a revolution. In fact, Table costumes have sold out in stores nationwide, though one source suggests they've all been bought by James Hetfield
Check out this week's Avantgarde Nu-Polka Top-5
" by Unit 387
2. "Circuit Board Lover
" by Sexy Sexbot
3. "D1g1t4l 4ff41r
" by Audio B0t 7
4. "Plug it in
" by Hal 36k
5. "Digital Ghetto
" by xDigital Gangstax
That's the end of today's roundup. Keep sharing your news tips in the comments!