It may or may not be immediately obvious that I am cheating you all a little bit. This article shall cover both August and September, primarily because I haven’t had the time to write at all much over the past however long. I can blame both the army and a broken computer for my own shortcomings; however, I shan’t. I refuse to allow this column to become a monthly address of grievances. In short, my time in the National Guard is progressing quite well. It’s tedious, and my writing skills aren’t as immediate as they could be, but bear with it, please. This article shall cover both August and September, despite the fact that it might be shorter than usual. In any case, I want to hear some real talent for October’s edition. Get in touch with me.
As is procedure, I’d just like to remind the readers to be open in their suggestions as to which artists I should feature in this column. Please provide links and information to
Sam Agini's mail. My myspace page
here. If you are in a band, contact me with your details, and please ensure that this includes a satisfactorily extensive biography and discography. On a side note, please remember that I can only feature bands that are unsigned, meaning that they do not have any affiliation with a record label whatsoever.
In a boldly incensed peculiarity,
White Noise Astronauts’ grabs the listener’s attention with all the gusto of an overtly zealous earwig. Upon questioning, Lloyd—guitarist, vocalist and producer—described the band’s material as ‘roughly split into two halves’, coming dangerously close to admitting that White Noise Astronauts is in fact a world-wide governmental conspiracy to delve into the limits of schizophrenia. With influences ranging from Syd Barret to Nikola Resla, one cannot help but admire the contradictions of being both passive and yet so engaging. Songs as psychedelically fun as Zero Head deserve their graft White Noise Astronauts’ position in this article. From the synthesized introduction to the melodically thickened atmospherically unbearable chorus, one can only imagine the song as a fine example of cursive handwriting; it may be hard on the ears at first, but, with a fine synthesis of all sorts of radioactive space elements, including liberal measures of both new wave synthesized beauty and a smart, spicy dash of poppy resourcefulness, Lloyd and Mary have a lot to offer. They may not be the progenitors of the genre, but they certainly do look set to emulate the greats.
· Rating: 7
Kain Vinosec (
website) is a tenacious customer, but the best type of customer to have. Having written this column for over half a year now, the major problem I experience is that bands have myspace pages without anything remotely interesting about the band written up in a structured format. Kain represents the musicians that do know exactly how to promote themselves. To skip a few chapters, everything Kain produces is a footnote to his adoration of all things musical. Furthermore, his DIY ethos magically slot into my punk affection as smoothly as the key to my gun back in the army. Perhaps the apex of his dedication is that all of his music—and there is most certainly a lot of it—can be found in neatly packaged zip files via his website, the link to which has been provided above. Whether it is the majestically composed Village of Hidden Scars, or the gruff rock ‘n’ roll of Together, Alone, Kain’s versatility and talent prove themselves time and time again. My only apprehensions about his inclusion in this article are that he works in solitude, but he could certainly do with a vocalist to match his precocious songwriting talents. That, and that, sometimes, his productivity and endeavor create a quantity versus quality situation. A paragon of the secluded genius, or just a bedroom shredder whom I should have overlooked: you decide.
· Rating: 7.8
Grunge died out quite a long time ago, and if you believe that it didn’t, I suggest that you give up all hope on a return.
Remora is the best grunge band that I have heard for a long time. Having never been an ardent supporter of the genre, it could just be Remora’s razor rock edge that attracts me. Bill Scheutzow’s burnt gingerbread voice in tandem with Danny Dalziel’s punk rock guitar provides a superstructure on top of the economic base supplied by Jesse Snyder. If you can distract yourselves from the Marxist edge of my rambling, you might have observed Remora’s revolutionary edge in modern music. I am, of course, referring to the fact that it doesn’t actually sound like Remora is just a blast from the past, flash in a pan. Remora is a fully fledged gas cooker, and the flint’s spark is dangerously close to igniting something truly special. The stand out track is probably Brainwash and a quick listen to what is a self-produced recording legitimises the praise this band deserves. Coming straight out of Brunswick, Ohio, front man—Bill Scheutzow—affirms that the band ‘tried to keep things real’, assuring the listeners that the lyrical themes are easily related to. This admittedly raises questions of sustainability, but with an album scheduled for an October release, Remora daren’t disappoint. In a static cloud of shaken coca-cola bottles, pernicious hornets and grunge-punk edge, Remora stands out as something at least a little refreshing in a scrap yard heap of anachronistic copy-cat metal.
· Rating: 7.8
There is an apparent paucity of remarkable bands that have the capacity to tangibly set this column alight. I for one am caught in somewhat of a dilemma. There is a certain acoustic artist with whom I was impressed after listening to one song. However, upon listening to his entire album, I was left somewhat disappointed. Perhaps he shall feature in a month or two. The same can be said of a certain metal band that I told I would feature. However, my mental pendulum has swung; a position is not warranted, and for this reason, I shall postpone the band’s inclusion so as to give me the time to review the situation. For these reasons, I was left short of bands to feature this month. It is with pleasure that I reveal
The Black Zetas, a band with an atmospheric edge to convince the listener that the Zetas can pull it off live. You Can Never See the Boy is, perhaps, the Zetas at their best. There’s just something juicy about the chorus, the greatest thing being that the Zetas really congeal the sound with condensed sweet milk sweetness. Only, I don’t very much enjoy condensed milk, so, in the army, we tend to dilute it with water. It looks more like regular milk, and actually tastes more or less great like that. So, with that, I can conclusively state that the Black Zetas are a bit like diluted condensed milk: they need some fine tuning, but, overall, provide something close to what I’m looking for. The Zetas 2008 EP—Matrimony—can be purchased at an affordable price via
this link. Jon Lett, James Holroyd, and Fred Carter are quite insistent, and the music is persuasive enough.
· Rating: 7
In closing, I’d like to thank Ultimate-Guitar, meaning both my employers and readers for the support I have received in writing this monthly article. I hope that you shall continue to provide me with a lot of feedback. Please listen to the bands featured and spread the word; they deserve it. By the way, I’m looking to do a more metal-related article soon, so if you’re a metal head, get in touch.
/ my profile 
glad the reviewer realized it too.