5 Iconic Rock Stars That Don't Actually Exist

The list may actually surprise you.

Ultimate Guitar

The list may actually surprise you.

5. Chad Smith

Chad Smith, like Ron Burgundy, is nothing more than a fictional character created by Will Ferrell. When playing Chad Smith, Ferrell is completely committed to the persona. Ferrell has even gone so far as to acknowledge his own joke when, during an interview as "Chad Smith," he wore a shirt that literally read "I Am Not Will Ferrell" on it. Most recently, Will Ferrell has challenged his own made up character to a drum battle to help raise money for charity - it turned out absolutely cool. Stay classy, Mr. Ferrell!

4. Dave Mustaine 

Dave Mustaine is a metal machine both literally and figuratively. While Mustaine does front Megadeth, one of today's most listened to metal bands, perhaps the most "metal" thing about Dave is the fact that he's actually made of metal. That's right, Mustaine is a robot. While anyone from Metallica will tell you otherwise, Dave Mustaine was actually originally manufactured fifteen miles south of Area 51. It's rumored that he was built by the Republican Party to slander Obama, but began to disobey his masters and turned to the most rebellious thing he could think of: being in a metal band. To this day though, fragments of his programming still seep through, prompting him to, once again, speak up about Obama, Christianity, etc. Poor, poor Dave Mustaine. May he Rust In Peace...

3. Paul McCartney

Paul is not dead. Actually, Paul is not real. During the formative years of The Beatles, John, George, and Ringo desperately needed someone to play along to the bass tracks Lennon had recorded live. They recruited a local actor named Stevie Riks to play the part of a fictional band mate they created; a band mate they called Paul McCartney. Riks quickly became attached to the character, though. So much so that, when the band went as far as to "kill McCartney," Riks decided to bring the character back. To this day, having gradually taught himself to play music, Riks still performs as Sir Paul McCartney.

2. Slash

Rock and roll needed a mascot and the answer was Slash. Slash is as fake as they come. The riffs, the look, the top hat? I don't think so. In fact, "South Park" has actually aired an episode exposing Slash's false identity (which this article isn't ripping off). During the recording of Guns N' Roses' recognizable album, "Appetite for Destruction," Slash was created to boost the popularity of the band. Stories claim that Axl Rose, the band's frontman, became agitated when people loved Slash, a made up character, more than him. He proceeded to "kick Slash out of the band" and refuses to acknowledge him to this day. Musicians continue to release mediocre riff-based albums under Slash's name "just to keep the urban legend alive, man!"

1. Kanye West

Kanye's not a rock star. Don't listen if he tells you otherwise...

And that's our list! In the stereotypical Ultimate-Guitar fashion, I guess I should ask you who you'd put on the list! Did we forget anything? Should someone else be up there? Let us know in the comments! And for stuff almost as "almost funny" as this, be sure to follow @John_Seminario_ on Twitter!

44 comments sorted by best / new / date

    I almost fell for it in no. 5. Lol funny article. Great read.
    Seriously! The first legitimately funny article put out by UG in...ever. Kudos, mysterious writer.
    I thought it was common knowledge that Dave Mustaines is just russian president Vladimir Putin with a wig.
    Pablo Mortis
    I love the forward thinking of the republicans, creating an anti-Obama robot so many years before he came to power
    Why not... Obama took out a birth notice in a Hawaiian paper just so he could claim to be an American born citizen when he ran for president many decades later... seems legit to me!
    Mediocre riffs ?..common he may not AFD GnR good but he's pretty awesome..and getting better..also Myles is simply awesome
    So you're telling me all red-headed people are in fact robots, or just Dave?
    "Mediocre riffs" was the funniest joke in the whole column. Slash's albums are made of anything BUT mediocre riffs.
    Are you joking. n-word please. He is on the top list of mediocre guitarist next to lil wayne.
    You forgot the biggest fake of them all: Buddy Holly. Buddy Holly was nothing more than a Bill Haley (they have the same initials, even!) side-project, used to explore music without risking Haley's reputation. When the facade got too much for Haley to handle, he decided to orchestrate his own death so he could once more be Haley full time. Unfortunately, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper decided to fly on his doomed plane. A ruthless psychopath to the core, Haley carried out his plan regardless, killing them both and giving the pilot a new identity in Venezuala.
    I Don't listen to Guns N' Roses much but I know enough about them to say WTF is Slash wearing a Stiff Records T-shirt????? Listen To Guns N' Roses then Ian Dury, Elvis Costello and Wreckless Eric and you tell me what they've got in common... The Damned? is that the reason?? Really Confused...
    What they've got in common is that they're all musicians. And Slash might be inspired by those people that you listed. It's not a secret that Slash is inspired by many people.
    OMG... It's quite funny but I got a strange feeling... None of my friends will believe if I tell them there's no Paul McCartney or Slash (and honestly, I was a little bit shocked, lol). I think I'll never be able to believe it) And do Mick Jagger and Eddie Van Halen exist??