Chapter 8: Meditation
I have to say. I said, as I looked to ice surface below me. I'm really f--king glad hockey is back.
Jordan took a swig of beer and smiled. Yeah, I couldn't take anymore baseball.
We watched as several grown men swore, shoved, and eventually punched each other until their Canadian hearts were contempt. The crowd rose to their feet to cheer on the contestants, but Jordan and I remained in our seats as hockey fights did not excite our experienced souls.
So Dan, how's it going with Lacey? He asked.
I shifted in my seat. Not too bad at all, she's got a couple more gigs, and then her album drops.
That's good man, really. You definitely deserve it. That album will do well. He said.
Oh yeah, thanks man, you definitely saved my ass. I said.
We watched in silence as the game unfolded in front of us. Players weaved in and out of traffic quickly, keeping the game fast paced and the crowd at attention. The period ended and more cursing, pushing, and eventual punching before both teams were able to control themselves and head to their locker rooms.
So have you f--ked her yet? Jordan asked.
I almost dropped my beer. What?"
I said, have you f--ked her yet? The images of Lacey and I in her dressing room several nights ago raced through my mind. Why the f--k are you asking me that?
Oh come on. Jordan said. Don't answer a question with a question. Tell me the truth.
I eyed him hesitantly. Well yeah, okay, we had sex.
No f--king way. He said, setting his beer down between his feet and turning to me. When?
I don't know. I said, knowing perfectly well the date and even the exact time, as it was one of my longest runs. A couple of nights ago, at her concert at the Tin Can.
Jesus Christ. He said, putting his head in his hands. I tried all the time, almost every day. All I ever got was a cold shoulder and a serious case of blue balls.
I sat nervously in my chair. Well I didn't try at all.
Even worse! He said. Not only did you have sex with her, but you didn't even have to try.
Although I was proud, I was still uncomfortable telling the person who gave me my client with benefits all about our recent escapade. Telling another guy about the sex you had with a girl they wanted to have sex with desperately is awesome, although it's mostly just creepy, as the scenes you allow them to mentally picture have your naked self in them.
So how was she? He said, regaining his composure as he sat back in his seat.
Good, I guess. I said hesitantly.
Details Dan, details! He exclaimed. Who am I even talking to? The Dan Grant I know would describe the scene in words that would make Tolkien get a chubby.
Fine, fine I'll tell you. I said, finishing off my beer. She was honestly just okay. I think she must have been tired from her show, because she was doing things kind of half-assed.
Of course it wouldn't have been your fault. He said mockingly.
Shut up. I said. I'm always one hundred and f--king ten percent.
He laughed. Yeah, whatever Dan. But why you and not me?
I crushed my plastic beer cup on the floor. I have no idea buddy.
Well, I guess there's nothing I can do about it now. He said. Are you guys going to keep seeing each other?
I don't have a f--king clue. I said. She's got a show tomorrow, but otherwise as soon as we stopped sliding all over each other we didn't say a word.
He put his head in his hands once again. You get the client, you f--k the client, and then you don't even have to love the client.
Life is a cabaret my friend. I said.
Well, I'll tell you what. Jordan said. Now that you've had sex with her, if her album sells well, I'm going to be super pissed.
I eyed him nervously, sensing the possible discordance in our relationship that could occur.
Don't worry about it Jordan. I said, trying to take his mind off it. We're at a hockey game, let's go f--k some desperate hockey moms who look like Sarah Palin.
I walked down into the dark basement. The outline of a person sitting in a chair was illuminated by the various flashing studio lights around them.
Only positive energies down here Daniel, take your shoes off. Martin whispered.
Fine. I said, slipping off my dress shoes. But I don't want to stub a f--king toe, so can you turn on the lights?
Martin turned quickly in his chair to face me, the lights behind him just lightly illuminating his most drastic facial features. Why Daniel, is there something about the dark that displeases you?
The only thing that displeases me Martin. I said. Is that you're more likely to try and do a reach around in a place that's dark.
He did not move. I see that you have linked the dark and homosexuality into one insult Daniel. Is this possibly because your fear of the omnipresent translates into homophobia?
I really don't think that's it Martin. I said.
Well then what are your fears Daniel? He asked.
I rolled my eyes and reached for a chair to sit down in. Let me think Martin. I guess not having any cocaine to snort off the ass of my private Vietnamese hooker at night, having only a two-four of beer left in my fridge, and I guess having to continue this f--king conversation with you.
I see Daniel, I see. He said. However, was the mistress of the night you mentioned, a symbolic image of mistrust and loneliness locked deep within you? Martin... I said, trailing off to rub my eyes. Where the f--k do you come up with this shit?
Many question that, many indeed do. He said. And sometimes I wonder myself. I often blame it on the cosmos, the unknowing yet all unknowing-
Martin, shut the f--k up. Where are the guys? I asked, interrupting his speech.
I watched as the dark outline of him walked over to the wall. I could answer that question Daniel, but where they are physically and where they are mentally are two very different places.
Martin flipped on the lights which dimly lit the room, but allowed me to see the three members of the band sprawled out across three black leather couches.
I watched as drool collected at the edge of Shawn's lip. What the f--k happened to them Martin?
Martin walked towards the coma victims. I took them through a meditation progression, a progression that would allow them to enter this recording process with peace of mind, with diligence and intelligence, and absolute tranquility of the soul.
I stared at the bullshit spewing from Martin's mouth. So you haven't recorded anything yet?
Not yet Daniel. Martin said, as he circled his hands slowly over Tanner's head. I needed to rebuild their mindset. They entered this studio session with entities that were cultured in chaos, deprivation, and noise. I needed to wash the negativity and destruction out of their beings, and restore them slowly back to fruition with a sense of inner peace, with a sense of purpose.
So. I said. You haven't recorded f--k all.
Martin sighed. I already told you Daniel, we must revive them first.
I raised my voice. We'll you've already been here for four f--king days Martin! Cut the f--king six million dollar man bullshit and get working!
But Daniel, they are not in any such position to begin working. Martin said.
I rolled my eyes. I don't give a shit if they're in the f--king fetal position, get them to record something!
But Daniel. No, Martin, you listen to me. I said, interrupting him. You have twenty one f--king days to record this album. That's all the studio will give us, that's all the label will give us. And that was fine, it really was, until about five f--king minutes ago when I realized you're giving my clients date rape drugs instead of production tips.
Now Daniel, to be fair.
No Martin, I'll be fair. I said, interrupting him again. The only reason you're producing this album is because I don't like this band enough to search for a good producer, and because I like making Keanu Reeves jokes about you. So you need to straighten the f--k up, stop talking like a first year psychology student, and do your job. No more speeches, no more rants about the all knowing, and no more god damn meditation sessions, okay?
Fine Daniel, we'll do it your way. He said, taken back.
Good. I said, as I walked up the basement stairs. And I don't want to have to tell you again, stop calling me f--king Daniel!
My phone rang as I made my way through row upon row of suburban homes. Hello? I said.
Who's this? I asked.
I turned down the stereo and sat up in my seat. Oh hey Lacey, how's it going?
It's fine Dan, but I need something from you. My album is being released next week obviously, and I need a place to have the listening party. She said.
The label didn't get you one? I asked, confused.
Well they did, but I didn't like it, so find me another one. She demanded.
Well I'll try, but I don't think the label will be too happy. I said.
Just do what I tell you to do Dan.
I will, don't worry. I said.
So, what are you doing right now? Lacey asked.
I hesitated, confused by the fact that Lacey seemed to care about me just a little bit. Nothing, just pulling into the driveway right now.
I'll be at your house in twenty minutes, so have a shower. She said before quickly hanging up.
I got out of my car and replicated a Tiger Wood's fist pump. I turned to walk towards my door, but was stopped as I suddenly saw Liam waiting for me.