Poor Tom sat on his porch reading Moby Dick eating a Tangerine with some Custard Pie as his Living Loving Maid (She is however, Just a Woman) Rambled On how Tom had put ketchup all over her Kashmir dress left over from his Hot Dog. "Since I've Been Loving You," she said In The Light of their porch, "Those Ten Years Gone can't bring back All My Love." Dazed and Confused, Tom tried to understand this Communication Breakdown.
"Hey, Hey What Can I Do? Nobody's Fault but Mine, I suppose," he said, reflecting upon the Good Times, Bad Times. "But I Can't Quit You Baby. I've got a Whole Lotta Love for you, not even The Ocean could contain How Many More Times I'd love you."
"What about that puddle Down by The Seaside? The Song Remains the Same with you," Darlene said. "Living alone with you up on this Black Mountain Side, I sometimes think of Going To California, Over the Hills and Far Away"
"But you're a Black Country Woman!" Tom argued "Don't go and be a Heartbreaker, my love for you reaches the Ozone, Baby. I'd stop The Battle of Evermore In My Time of Dying For Your Life!"
"Look at my dress!" Darlene pointed Out on the Tiles. "My clothes are Wearing and Tearing! The D'yer Mak'er brand doesn't even take the stains out! I'm Sick Again of you treating me like some Black Dog, like The Rover our Friends have down in Bron Yr-Aur."
"Bron Yr-Aur!?" Tom Stomped. "I'd rather take the Stairway to Heaven than the South Bound Saurez to that Gallows Pole of a place. I'm always Trampled Under Foot by Walter's Walk, the bastard!"
"I hope you prepared Tea for One, because In The Evening, Babe I'm Gonna Leave You."
Tom laughed. "Girl, You Shook Me for a sec! Thank You for putting some Misty Mountain Hop in my old Dancing Days! C'mon, lets Rock and Roll to The Wanton Song! We're Gonna Grove tonight!"
"I'm not in the mood for The Crunge anymore," Darlene said coldly. "Go ahead and play The Rain Song and dance like some Fool in the Rain. I can just as easily do the Carouselambra over at Bonzo's Montreux, or Boogie With Stu! I'm tired of your childish Candy Store Rock attitude. Your Time Is Gonna Come when you realize What Is and What Should Never Be. When The Levee Breaks, I'm off to the Houses of the Holy, find me some real men!"
"You've got the Hots On For Nowhere! No way I'm Gonna Crawl all the way to Royal Orleans to drag you back! We've got no spare money, not even No Quarter!"
"Lucky I'm taking the Night Flight then, simple and cheap, a lot like you! You never could Bring It On Home, no cash, no love."
"You honestly think they're gonna welcome you? Have a huge Celebration Day and play the Immigrant Song for you all day long? Those fools play Four Sticks in their spare time like children when they're not ogling women! You know that!"
"Than That's The Way it is then. At least I'll get some attention finally."
"Don't be desperate! Don't go and pull some desperate Achilles Last Stand to try and win something back. We're done. Hats off To Roy Harper for truly understanding a woman's needs."
With that, Darlene packed her things that night and left Poor Tom that night. She walked towards the airport humming the Traveling Riverside Blues.
"Baby Come On Home!!" Poor Tom yelled out.
......The Lemon Song.