Odd Squad. Part 1

Jeez, how do I always get caught in these situations. Even when good things happen to me it's just a sign that more bad things will happen.

Ultimate Guitar

I am woken up by the sound of my cellphone ringing, luckily the phone was right next to my bed, so I grab it and look at the time.

"4 AM,who the hell calls people at 4 AM?!".

I pick up, and I hear my friend John Diego yell, "Sup man its 4 AM!!!!".

And thats as long as that conversation lasted, I cursed and hung up. Before going back to sleep I got a feeling in my gut telling me to check my text messages, so I did and there it was...a new text by my best friend Louis telling me we would be having our first band practice at 12 in the afternoon at the bass players house. And there it came the feeling of overwhelming exitement.

See I had joined Poison The Sky, my first band, 6 months ago after the first guitarist left, so I asked my friend to convince the bass player if I could take on guitar duties and he said yes, and lo and behold I joined a band, one that for some reason did not get together...until tomorrow that is, and I could'nt be happier as joining a band was my dream.

I woke up at 11:10, looked at the time and wanted to kill myself. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit there go my chances of making a good impression". I kept insulting myself for another half hour as I got dressed ate breakfast, picked up my guitar and amp, put them in the trunk of my dad's car and asked my dad to take me there as I won't be getting my license till next week.

I arrived at the bass player's house at about 1 PM do to my house being aproximately 30 minutes away from his. "Well dad, thanks for bringing me all this way, I'll call you later and tell you when you can come pick me up". I said as me and my dad unloaded my gear from the car, after we moved the stuff over to the garage, he said goodbye and left.After that the bass player appeared, he had a huge afro, like 70's black guy big and was wearing shades, as I went to say hi I tried to resist the urge to call him Slash.

"Glad you could make it, sorry it took so long to have band practice but it's finally happening we just need to wait for Louis, which you know is the drummer, Alfred which will be lead guitar and Kevin and Melody who will share lead vocals, and me, Ronnie on bass as you already know". Ronnie said as he shaked my hand and welcomed me inside his house.

"Thanks for letting me join man, as you also know I'm Edward." That's when it hit me.

"Umm, Ron wasn't I gonna be the lead guitarist?".

"Yeah but thing is I ran into Alfred yesterday and I know he is an amazing guitarist so I asked him to join and he said yes, how awesome is that man wait till you see him shred!. Oh and you already know Melody right, she's told me you guys talk on msn frequently right?".

"Yeah, and you don't have to ask, I learned the song like you asked me too."

It kinda hurt to be replaced so easily like that, but I decided to not dwell on that stuff and relish the fact that I would still be playing in a band and I was still a guitarist. Then we decided to go outside and set up so that we could be ready when the other guys came by, and as luck would have it they where just going through the gate when we went outside.

First one out of the car was my best friends Louis.He is one of those super skinny, tanned skin, rocker dudes. We exchanged simple sups as me and Ronnie helped him set up his drums and while we did Kevin and Melody said their hello's and introduced themselves. Kevin was skeleton skinny, dude looked like he had never eaten anything in his life, and he had very emo hair that covered half his face and Melody was chubby with emo-ish hair as well.

"Hey, wheres Alfred?". Asked Ronnie.

"He bailed for some reason he didn't wanna tell me, anyway drums are all set up". Replied Louis, sitting down on the drum chair.

After everyone introduced themselves and everything was hooked up, Ronnie told us the song he wanted us to play which was, The guillotine by Escape The Fate, not the song i'd choose but ehh at least it's something.

As I play the first notes and Melody begins to sing.

"So lock and load...".

And it all goes pretty good from there, Melody is a pretty good singer,but Kevin is okay at best, his voice cracked up alot and his screams sucked but I've heard worse. I did notice though Ronnie's bass was loud, louder than my guitar, and he made a ton of mistakes during the song, for someone who was so on my case on msn last week to learn it he barely knew the song.

"That was great you guys, though Ed you where kinda out of it, you made a couple of mistakes in the song, did'nt you tell me you knew it already."

"I did, I just messed up abit around the solo, nothing to extreme."

"Well if you want I can teach you the song, I've practiced it so much I know it in my sleep hahahaha".

You have to be shitting me. The dude who messed up during the whole song ON BASS is telling me he's gonna teach it to me because I made a slight mistake during the solo.

After we practiced the song a few times,everyone took a break.

"Hey guys after this let's try to compose something, nothing to hard just to get a feel of what we could do, how about it?"

"Sounds awesome". Replied everyone,except Ronnie.

"No, that's moving to fast I think we should just keep playing the guillotine until you master it Ed". He said very matter-of-factly.

"I did, I only made a minor mistake every once in awhile, and not like nobody makes mistakes even Escape The Fate makes mistakes, it's one of those minor mistakes, And besides what good will it do to master someone else's song. I'm just saying we should at least try it out to see how it goes."

"I say Edward's right let's do it". Louis said, backing me up.

"Yeah trying won't kill you Ron." Said Melody.

"What they said". Kevin backed me up as well.

"Fine jeez stop whining, well try to compose something". He finally gave in.

So we went outside and I picked up my guitar tuned it to E standard and began playing some riffs for I had come up with when suddenly my amp ceased making noise, When I saw Ronnie walking towards me holding my amp's plug-in cable.

"No, man first of all if your playing your guitar should be in drop d otherwise it just doesn't sound hardcore."

"Fine man, you can just tell me next time no need to un-plug my amp."

So I tune it to drop d and begin to play some hardcore-ish riffs for about half an hour. And as I look around I see Kevin and Melody are just walking around bored out of their minds, I don't blame them I would be to if I had to wait around for an hour while Ronnie decides on a riff he likes, and Louis was just eating everything on the plate of snacks Ronnie's mom had brought us, jesus how can he be so skinny when he eats like that.

I had a whole song made after about 2 hours of waiting to see what Ronnie liked and even after that...

"Sounds f--kin awesome man but it needs breakdowns otherwise it does'nt work.How about oen after in the pre-chorus, one in the second verse, one after the second chorus and one at the end of the song?."

"Won't that make the whole song just one huge breakdown, that's boring."

"No man that's awesome comon try it".

And so went my day, everyone left out of boredom and I was still sitting there playing breakdown after breakdown trying to satisfy my control freak of a bass player.

"Dude your playing all wrong, those breakdowns aren't heavy enough". He unplugged my guitar again and I snapped.

"Then just compose your own f--king songs. Next time I'll just keep my mouth shut and follow your orders oh mighty leader!". I handed him his bass called my dad and, thank the lord, he arrived fast and I left.

In what seemed like a major deja vu moment, I woke up to find a text on my phone saying practice next saturday. Great another day of hardcore wannabes yelling at me can't wait.

A/N: Yes I know my writing sucks, horribly, but I'll try to get better for the next chapter. And this story is based on what I went through in my band, yes ronnie was that big of an asshole.

9 comments sorted by best / new / date

    Great story. Very recognizable for everyone who's ever been in a band, probably, but there are a lot of things that could've made this story better: 1. Speed. Your story reads like this situation took place not more than a week ago, and you are still pissed. Being pissed writing style makes your readers 'run' through the story, instead of pacing and taking time to really look at every sentence. 2. Lack of intro. What I like about stories is a nice intro. Possibly the story behind the reason you wanted to join a band (e.g. want to do something with the music in your head, want to play the songs you hear on the radio). Being thrown into a story like this, and immediately feel the hostility in that band doesn't make me want to know more about your story. 3. Sorry to say, and i know you apologized, but the grammar is bad. It's not so much a deal breaker, but I just can't ignore them. Constructive criticism: "your/you're", "to/too", "shaken/shook", punctuation. I don't want to attack you with this, but it'll make your story better to read.
    ^ seconded. Also, I really don't like the way you just get Ronnie to go "a, he's the drummer, b and c are the singers, d's the other guitarist and I, Ronnie, am the bassist." When have you ever heard anyone talk like that, and why doesn't he know the band before hand? You say he's best friends with the drummer and has talked to the singer on msn. So really, you shouldn't need to introduce them until "Louis turns up lugging his drum kit behind him" or everyone's there going "jeeze where the hell is Alf?" "who's Alf?" "lead guitarist". There is a rough plot to this, but I really can't see it going far.
    Haha, this reminds me of a hardcore band I was in once... Now I'm sick of that music.
    Wow, I didn't noticed any of those other points they made. I actually enjoyed it. I know this because I didn't notice any bad grammar or poor style. I was in it the whole time. I thought the way the story started was good, I got really irritated about the bass player like I'm supposed to. It was great man, can't wait for the next page.
    While the perspective and the scope seems good, you have to improve on interpunction and grammar (as you've said yourself, but it'd be better if you corrected it or let someone do that for you before posting).
    I like the setup, and yeah it felt really true to some experiences i've had - but i agree with the above posters - you really need to proof read just to cut out on the mistakes and punctuation. Good start though, I look forward to learning more about the characters!
    ill continue it soon i never even noticed ug accepted it lolz right now im computerless but as soon as i gte it back ill continue thanks for ur help ill try to imporve on those points,i kinda rushed through part 1