The Drummer. Part Three

Reality returns as life goes back to the same old morning routine for Jon.

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Jon woke up in a sleepy daze after his father pounded on his bedroom door as he shouted, Jon, you little bastard, get out here, in a very annoyed voice. He lazily pulled himself out of bed, past his drum set, and walked through his door.

What time did you get home? his father asked.

Around midnight or so, the gig went a little long, replied Jon, as he lied through his teeth.

Bull, shit. Don't lie in my house, confidently stated the interrogator. You will get home on time after playing your crap music. Seriously, shape up, do something better with your time, calmly insulted his father, as he walked out of the hallway down the stairs. Jon simply shrugged it off, nothing new to him.

Ever since his mom died, his father had grown more and more hateful as time passed by. Jon thought that it was good that at least he hasn't gotten an addiction to anything, as most people that pissed off at life do (to Jon's knowledge anyway). He had respected his father in the earlier years of his life, but eventually vowed to never end up like his father later on this was around the time Jon started to drum.

He crawled back to bed when his alarm interrupted the short, desperate attempt to sleep for just a few more minutes. Mornings were not his thing most times he never even knew what day it was. A calendar lay, disorganized next to his drum set beside his bed. On this, the audition date was circled many times over. He looked at this calendar for a quick minute and finally realized that it was Monday.

It took a minute to put two and two together, but eventually he realized that he had school (again, mornings aren't his best time), no matter how tired he was. The world doesn't stop for you, so you'd better catch the bus and get to the destination quicker than them,' was a quote from his father (from when he was happier) that had always stuck whenever Jon had doubts in education, or his father for that matter.

Taking his time, Jon slothfully prepared to go to school with all the usual things he showered, brushed his teeth, fixed his hair, packed his bag, and other typical, everyday things. He picked up his sticks last, placed them in his bag, hopped down the stairs, and shouted, Leaving now, to his dad in the next room. It wasn't exactly an emotionally touching moment like you'd see in nearly every single movie, as his father replied (without missing a beat), Don't screw up today.

As he stepped out the door, into the wider world around him, he simply whispered, f--k, as the bus drew farther and farther in the distance he had missed it (which is quite hard when the stop is right in front of your house). The cool, fresh spring air whipped past Jon's ears as he sprinted towards the ever-moving bus. It was a 30-minute ride to school, and he really didn't feel like paying for gas that day, when the bus was seemingly so close from him. Step after step he ran, hoping that the bus was getting ever closer.

He pushed himself farther and farther. One, two, one, two, his feet tapped in rhythm as they struck the sidewalk below him (of course, a drummer would hear it slightly different, as every rushed footstep is never perfectly in rhythm with the last). After a few last frantic steps, he gave up as he turned back the way he came to get his own car. He let out a sigh as he ran.

A few dozen fast close calls later, he arrived at the school, alive (but a little rattled, due to the fast speed he needed to drive to make it on time). He exited his car, locked it, and headed to the school chapel for the daily announcement, hymns, and so forth. On the way, a few people criticized his ride', as it wasn't quite the overpriced luxury sports car most of the people there got.

He had always thought that the world was so fake', in the way that everything is never what it appears to be. Behind every face in the crowd there was a story, some secret they've covered up at one point or another. Behind all these spoiled brats was a story some filled with values lost along the road of life, and others just plain unsatisfying. As Jon began to believe this in life, he lost interest in regular social topics such as clothes, cars, shoes, girls, and all those other common topics (at least at his school). It was all too superficial, too fake to reveal whom one actually was. When you left high school, you knew less about the true essence of what goes into those fellow students' personalities than you'd know what stores they like.

This belief swept through his mind as it erased everything he thought he knew about life the majority of people sickened him at his school, so he really didn't care what anyone said. Combined with the desensitizing of his father's hate, made Jon quite passive in social situations. To those who criticized his ride', he simply kept on walking.

He plopped into one of the back pews next to his usual group of friends fellow musicians who were in the majority of his classes mostly were in his group of school friends. In a community like this, everyone liked to believe they were friends with everyone, so that also impacted the day-to-day life at the school (one large popularity contest is what Jon thought it was).

Jon sat quietly, as he twirled his thumbs through the entire thing some guest speaker talking about working hard to achieve what you like, same old, same old. Eventually, it was time to exit and go to his first class of the day, and the one he enjoyed most, music.

18 comments sorted by best / new / date

    CFDragon
    To be perfectly honest I'm not really liking it very much so far. It seems a bit too cliche. The drummer doesn't get along with his parents or teachers and has a superiority complex regarding how his classmates are so "fake" and he's obviously so much better than they are. I've heard this story repeated many, many times.
    Draken68
    CFDragon wrote: You can't quite say "it happens in real life more" as we don't really know. I'd like to see an actual study on that before I say one way or another, but are you sure there are more broken families instead of us just noticing them more? And it's not because it's a 'broken family' that I feel it's cliche. It's that the characters have very little dimension to them. The only real character building has been the drummer likes to drum. Okay, so we have one character point down, what else? There's still hope for this story it's just that the characters have be much more thought out and developed. For example: the father doesn't like rock and roll, that's fine but WHY doesn't he like it? Why does he have such a resentment against what his son likes to do so much? I feel like I'm watching a Twisted Sister music video. We need more insight into what the characters actually think and feel. I apologize if I come off as a little harsh but I'm hoping some criticism could help improve this story.
    over 50% of parents divorce...so thats a lot of families breakin apart...it gets more common every year...but thats divorce and im not sure if you meant that or deaths in a family
    CFDragon
    You can't quite say "it happens in real life more" as we don't really know. I'd like to see an actual study on that before I say one way or another, but are you sure there are more broken families instead of us just noticing them more? And it's not because it's a 'broken family' that I feel it's cliche. It's that the characters have very little dimension to them. The only real character building has been the drummer likes to drum. Okay, so we have one character point down, what else? There's still hope for this story it's just that the characters have be much more thought out and developed. For example: the father doesn't like rock and roll, that's fine but WHY doesn't he like it? Why does he have such a resentment against what his son likes to do so much? I feel like I'm watching a Twisted Sister music video. We need more insight into what the characters actually think and feel. I apologize if I come off as a little harsh but I'm hoping some criticism could help improve this story.
    musiclover_92
    funkyfigure8 wrote: CFDragon wrote: To be perfectly honest I'm not really liking it very much so far. It seems a bit too cliche. The drummer doesn't get along with his parents or teachers and has a superiority complex regarding how his classmates are so "fake" and he's obviously so much better than they are. I've heard this story repeated many, many times. I definitely agree with you on this one, the moment I read "...ever since his mom died..." I felt the exact same way.
    It is cliched a lot, at least it sounds like that, but I notice that there are increasingly more and more broken up families, so it just happens in real life more, now about there being musicians in all of these families, I don't really know, but it's a lot more common now, it used to have an impact in any fiction and now it's just a normal background for anything like this...
    funkyfigure8
    CFDragon wrote: To be perfectly honest I'm not really liking it very much so far. It seems a bit too cliche. The drummer doesn't get along with his parents or teachers and has a superiority complex regarding how his classmates are so "fake" and he's obviously so much better than they are. I've heard this story repeated many, many times.
    I definitely agree with you on this one, the moment I read "...ever since his mom died..." I felt the exact same way.
    pollywaffle666
    this is good stuff and im personally looking foward to the next episode. to the persn above me the drummer hasnt got a superioty complex, he was simply stating the results of everyone elses superioty complex
    NOSPI
    Nice. I like it. One thing that was annoying me is how often you used the brackets though.
    Bamitchell
    I thought this was a good way to go, starting to show us a little more about WHO the drummer is. I'm liking it.
    zarreph
    Not too bad... obviously the first two were better. Parentheses are fine, they're well-used to explain things that really don't need a semicolon or some other punctuation mark; a comma from time to time wouldn't hurt, however.
    Eebs
    Haha, this IS a bit cliched. I'll hold my judgment though...