To Play Some Music

Journey deny writing "Jukebox Hero."

Ultimate Guitar

If you've ever had a father, ever listened to the radio, ever been to a karaoke bar, ever watched "American Idol" for more than four minutes, or ever walked into a Walgreens, you've heard of the rock band Journey. Specifically, you've probably heard Journey's most buzzed about chart-topping #1 hit, "Don't Stop Believing." Contrary to popular belief, however, Journey are not one hit wonders. 

Over the years, Journey have released tons of great tunes, and while "Don't Stop Believing" has it's time and place, it's nice to take a break from it every once in a while. They've got "Anyway You Want It," "Open Arms," "Eye of the Tiger," "Wheel in the Sky," and so on. Here's the problem: Not all of those songs are on the same album. Sure, you could go out and buy every individual album Journey put out, but do you really wanna be "that guy"? We didn't think so. Well, your problems only seem to be getting worse...

Last week, the band released their brand new twenty-two song greatest hits CD appropriately titled "Journey's Greatest Hits," but fans were not as happy as the boys from (Boston? No... Well, wherever the hell they're from) were anticipating. According to fans, Journey intentionally left off the one song they were most itching to hear: "Jukebox Hero."

The band recently called a press conference to personally address the issue. Not Steve Perry, but the Filipino dude from YouTube they replaced him with, had this to say: "I don't know how or why it happened, but a lot of fans are under the assumption that we, Journey, wrote the song 'Jukebox Hero.' We did not write that song, and don't own the rights to it. That's a Foreigner song." The singer proceeded to play more so-called "Foreigner songs" as proof, but the fans were not amused.

One disgruntled fan had this to say: "I don't know what the hell 'Foreigner' is... Maybe it's a side band of theirs or something, but I've never heard of it. They're lying. How could my favorite band do this to me?"

Another die-hard fan, a forty-eight year-old homosexual man, had this to say: "I've listened to Journey my entire life and - 'Jukebox Hero' - that's a Journey song. No doubt about it. It sounds like Journey, plays like Journey, and it's literally on the radio twenty-four / seven. It's gotta be them."

Journey have yet to respond since the press conference. What do you think? Are you angry at the band for leaving out a signature track on their greatest hits album, or can you make do with the twenty-two other radio-friendly ballads they've gifted you for $29.99? Let us know in the comments! And be sure to follow our good friend @John_Seminario_ on Twitter for more great updates on the world of music!

11 comments sorted by best / new / date

    I’m not sure I get the humor, but I get that this is an attempt at it.
    Danjo's Guitar
    These spoof articles are not as funny as all the people who keep writing them seem to think they are.