Top 10 Drummer Stereotypes

Not all of them are true actually.

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Ultimate Guitar
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It's time to set the record straight once and for all!

1. Drummers Are Always Late

Yeah, yeah, yeah! We've all heard this one before. Punctuality has nothing to do with the fact that you know how to play a certain instrument, people!

2. Drummers Are Always Early

This kind of contradicts the first stereotype, don't you think? Whoever spreads these rumors around should at least try to stay consistent. Sheesh!

3. Drummers Aren't Musicians

Another popular stereotype, and also completely false. Both coordination and focus are required at all moments from a drummer. After all, they are the backbone of the song.

4. Drummers Hate Musicians

Many people think that drummers hate all other musicians, but this is not true in the slightest. Whether you hate someone or not, your choice is not determined by the fact that you choose to spend your free time wailing away on a new Gretsch kit.

5. Drummers Are Occasionally Transported To Another Dimension Where The Germans Actually Won World War II And Forced Everyone To Remove Their Fingernails As A Sign Of Respect

Come again?! I doubt such a place even exists. Nice try, but you'll have to do better than that.

6. Drummers Can't Read Music

Drum parts can be written out onto sheet music just like any other instrument.

7. Drummers Can't Read

Now that's just hurtful! What are you even basing this on? Do people just make stuff up?

8. Drummers See The World In Black And White

Last time I checked, drummers aren't dogs. Incidentally, dogs also don't see in just black and white. Veterinarians used to believe this, but eventually discovered that they do see certain colors.

9. Drummers Are Easily Replaceable

Next time you hear somebody say this, remember to remind them that Led Zeppelin refused to perform after the death of John Bonham, who's also a drummer.

10. Drummers Turn Everything They Touch To Dirt, Which Then Evaporates Into The Sky And Causes Tornadoes, And That's Why A Lot Of Them Wear Gloves

Do people really buy this nonsense? Anyone with half a brain would know that tornadoes are actually formed when air first rotates because of wind shear, spins faster to create a funnel cloud, and then proceeds to touch down due to rain and hail. I mean, really?!

37 comments sorted by best / new / date

    plbrynt
    Drummers seem to think that once their drums are set up they must keep hitting them or else they will stop working...
    ParkerThisIs
    Although I've been playing drums for almost a dozen years now, I have to admit that this is hilarious (and true). 10/10
    Mongazzo
    Don't forget also to truly master guitar you have to be able to widdle away either plugged or unplugged while being able to maintain a look and demeanor that tricks people into thinking you are actually listening to them speak. Virtuosos also learn to nod and go 'Mhm' or 'Oh Right' at precise moments.
    travislausch
    What's the difference between a drum machine and a human drummer? You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
    The_Pyramidion
    No, no, no. The real difference is that you can actually make a drum machine stop playing during practice.
    FranktheRabbit1
    No drum machines never say " I am bored, can I do a solo?" This may just be something that novice drummers say. I have never heard of a pro drummer asking to do a solo in less he can actually play it. But I know two novice drummers who always want to do a half hour solo but get bored after around ten minutes.
    badfish_lewis
    What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
    Nero Galon
    What do you call a drummer with a girlfriend? A guitarist in disguise.
    DeadStrike99
    what do you call a bassiste with a girlfriend? A dream
    SLOBaron
    How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? "Oops, I broke it."
    Dino21
    "You guys forgot the most important thing about writing a catchy song..It's gotta have a beat." -Benson
    Second Rate
    Never really took much offense at idiotic drummer jokes. Why? Because at the end of the day, every guitar player wishes he was a drummer. Every band I was in, If I got up from behind my drums for more than five seconds the lead guitar player would find his way back there and proceed to play off time thrash beats for a half hour. Anyway, my personal favourites: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two more to argue over how much better Neil Peart would have done it. How do you know the stage is level? The drummer drools from both sides of his mouth.
    Vandekill
    I hate those ****in' drummers... We invented drum machine... You think it's for dogs ? You think drum machine is for dogs ? Hell no ! Drum machine should in the drum section of every band.
    givson1
    Yes, another example to 9 is Metallica. They won't be performing for sure if Lars left.
    headstone05
    Drummers must hit the drums when you're trying to tune
    ianredman08
    No, you're trying to pretend like you can tune by ear while we're tuning our drums. A practicing band and you don't own a chromatic tuner? Good luck on stage...
    mattjamesrenn
    Jeopardy question Question: someone who hangs out with musicians. answer: who is a -----?
    BlondSlash
    Speaking about offensive things, my younger brother is daltonic, and I couldn't help thinking about him when you said that color blinded people are dogs. THAT's hurtful.
    rwspear
    say what you will about drummers but theres a reason the drumkit is never unoccupied during band practice, regardless of the location of the drummer.
    link no1
    Because it's the only instrument that comes with its own chair? I've sat on a drum stool more than I've played the drums.