Enough of that mindless speculation on who's guitarist and who's not. Run through this list below and if you've checked off at least one of its points, there's no mistake - you're definitely a guitarist.
1. You've ever woken up the morning after there was a full moon covered in human blood.
2. Animals have spoken to you about personal issues in their lives.
3. Every book you look at is full of blank pages, even though everyone else just sees a normal book.
4. You've ever woken up to find that your fingernails and toenails have switched places.
5. One of your eyes is actually just a ping pong ball.
6. You hear white noise every time you close your eyes for more than a few seconds.
7. Everything you touch turns to red dust.
8. You've ever woken up to find that your fingernails and toenails have switched places AGAIN.
9. Mirrors show no reflection when you look at them.
10. Pictures of Jesus Christ always seem to be looking at you no matter where you stand in a room.
11. Your echo has ever refused to sound in an act of defiance towards you.
12. Water leaves your throat feeling dry.
13. Every Tuesday you're teleported to an alternate dimension where your grandfather keeps kicking you in your shins, but you can't run away because you don't actually have any legs.
14. Technology ceases to function when you hold it.
15. You spend WAY too much money at Guitar Center.
16. ... you're reading this article on Ultimate Guitar!