Nothing Else Matters

author: N3WW4V3N1NJ4 date: 04/21/2014 category: fiction

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Nothing Else Matters
Breaking news today, as James Hetfield of Metallica revealed to a reporter for an underground music magazine that the band would be recording their first thrash metal album since "...And Justice For All" back in 1988. 

The following is an excerpt from the interview:

Reporter: So, James, how exactly did the idea to record a new thrash metal album come about?

James Hetfield: Well, we had been working on a sequel to "Lulu" for a little while. It was going to have all these completely amazing guest musicians, like Skrillex, Justin Bieber and a few others. Obviously, Lou Reed was in charge of providing vocals, as well as lyrics. Me and the rest of the guys in Metallica, we were just going to be playing the majority of the instruments.

Reporter: What happened to that? Sounds like it would have been the best thing since The Beatles!

JH: Lou Reed died. I shouldn't need to say anything more. Although, for a short period of time, we actually considered putting Bieber in charge of the key stuff, but that didn't sound as good as we had hoped. After that, I toyed with being the master of lyrics and such and we even got C.C. DeVille from Poison to record some guitar solos... Which upon hearing them recorded, Lars threw the tapes in the dumpster. Didn't say anything, just got right up, threw 'em away. 

Reporter: Oh, I see... Anything you want to say about the upcoming thrash metal record?

JH: it will be released in two formats, CD and Picture Disc Vinyl. The front cover is a nude photo of Scarlett Johansson. Instrumental versions of some of the tracks are going to be part of the soundtrack to "Half-Life 3."

Reporter: Okay, good to know. Thank you James Hetfield, for your time.
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