Missed Opportunities

author: shakyjake316 date: 11/13/2012 category: junkyard

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Missed Opportunities
In the music industry, change is measured in centimeters. With a few notable exceptions, any attempt to color too far outside the lines is met with apprehension, constraint, and in most of cases, defeat. Like they say, "If it ain't broke, don't fixate on how it sounds like everything else on the radio, just play it and shut up." That's why so many wonderful opportunities fall through the cracks, even when they're painfully obvious. For instance... Why haven't The Decembrists released a Christmas album yet? Seriously, get the guy from Snow Patrol to do some guest vocals and you're good to go. Green Day has never publicly endorsed solar energy. Wrap your head around that. Guys, American Idiot made your political views abundantly clear, so how about getting in on some of that Earth Week action? Well, at least one-seventh of it. Def Leppard, Whitesnake, The Scorpions, Ratt, White Lion: Glam Metal Pet Store! There's your retirement fund, fellas. And how about this for those 90s rock guys? A high-end bar called Gin Blossoms & Tonic. I mean, it's right in front of your faces, guys! Open up your eyes! Speaking of 90s pop rock, I've never seen Fastball sing The National Anthem before a baseball game. How's that possible? At least give the lead singer the chance to throw the first pitch... Billy Corgan, take Gallagher on tour with you for this next go' round. Switch out the watermelons for gourds and you've got yourself a concept concert. I know that documentary Metallica put out didn't do much for their career, but how about using the title for a little shop you open up every October? "Some Kind of Monster," for all your Halloween needs! Jack White and Jack Black. "The Black and White Album." "Opposites Are Jack." "Colorless Rock." "In Verse, Jacks." Whatever you wanna call the damn thing, just get in the studio and make an album together. It would be fantastic. And that's just a smattering of all the musical side projects going to waste. Let's get on this, people!
More shakyjake316 columns:
+ So You're a One-Hit Wonder Junkyard 08/02/2013
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+ InteREview With Sugar Ray's Guitarist Fiction 11/21/2012
+ Why Are There No Reality Shows For Guitarists? Junkyard 11/16/2012
+ Dave Grohl Stole My Dollar Fiction 10/23/2012
+ InteREview With Train Fiction 10/19/2012
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