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Just when you think thread is dead. Thread come back to life.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect

i was just telling my radio cohost about some of the stories from this thread last week

and then the thread gets bumped

such is government surveillance in soviet russia
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Moscow man decide to work as security guard in potato serving community center, for the greatness of the Motherland. He starts working shift at 0 am, like good soviet worker. Fellow working comrade tell him of four animatronic robots; they represent capitalist pig for child potato peelers to laugh at.
Comrade tell him that capitalist spirit still in robot, so they roam the center at night searching for comrade to convert to evil ways. Man accepts job, work never refused in Mother Russia.

At 3 am man hear noises outside of room. Man take shot of vodka and light up torch, but then robot jump in front of him. Robot in fact is robot of comrade Lenin, working overtime at night like any good soviet robot.
Man and robot laugh and tell stories of defeat of capitalist pig, and joy of peeling potatoes for the Motherland.

Robot then take suit off. Secretly KGB agent, who arrest man for not sharing vodka with his comrades. Man sent to count trees in Siberia.

Such is life in Mother Russia
Last edited by gonzaw at Oct 6, 2014,
Young man stand in trench on border of Stalingrad and German forces. My vodka speaks to me in subtle sweet song, as if fine beauty awaits such pain and love. I think of family home, and what they would say if I came home, but I am not. I am soldier of Mother Russia, my one true love. This vodka, my only mistress..

Day 53 in trench on border of Stalingrad and German forces. My vodka dresses for me, in sweet glass, tempting me with love and tears. Bottle is empty, but my love for vodka is not gone. Bottle makes way to genitals where soviet penis is gently placed in vodka for love making. After sweet vodka love my commander Tolyskronikov orders me to remove soviet penis from vodka bottle, but his opposition to our love brings it harder for me to let go.

I am sent to Siberia to count soviet penis in vodka bottle.

Such is life in Soviet Vodka.
Most of the important things

in the world have been accomplished

by people who have kept on

trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
Two Comrade enter cave to spelunk to make strip mining operation for motherland

Monstrous Entity dissuade Comrade from entering further

Cave detonated to accelerate materials acquisition for all. Expedition is profitable.

Comrade receive great honor overseeing chemical disposal of Chelyabinsk-65

My arranged mating creature Борбала feels that I am unrecognize by my superiors

Борбала is executed with Пулемёт Дегтярёвa Пехотный Pulemyot Degtyaryova Pekhotny for question of authority that give her square kilometer of farmland and husband

Such is life for chosen people who must sweat to live
Legato and fluidity in your playing is where it's at

Last edited by Shredwizard445 at Oct 6, 2014,
got this shit stickied

long as i breathe ittl never die

i got one in an old ass email gotta dig it up right quick
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
It's back!

[EDITING BY KGB] --User post capitalist smiling face. Swine sent to count trees in gulag.

If comrade have time to smile, comrade not have enough working to occupy.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Quote by MeTallIcA313
I still remember this thread from my lurking days. Classic

I oddly thought the same thing