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Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#365
i wrestled a bear to death
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,130 IQ
#366
Quote by Harvey Swick
"desperation....

is the soul's natural state..."


Harwey Swick bumped an old thread.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please.
MetaIronForce
ULTIMATE-DISNEY
Join date: Oct 2009
904 IQ
#369
Once there was an ugly barnacle
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*


...what am I doing on this site...
HeretiK538
Petrol
Join date: Aug 2010
869 IQ
#371
Goodbye, Harold. We'll always love you.
Rotten Playground
Listen to me and Jameh muck about on a podcast
as if you have anything better to do.


Quote by Reverend_Taco
Grass stains on my dicks

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Pfft. Gay? Nah, gay is the manliest sex that exists.
Seref
Gob****e
Join date: Jun 2009
688 IQ
#373
Cleetus was actually his mother's aunt.
jjfeu662
Celestia
Join date: Jun 2012
1,996 IQ
#374
This again?

What I learned last summer: nothing.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA
dann_blood
Swifter 4 life
Join date: Dec 2005
910 IQ
#376
Jesus' eyes widened an imperceptible amount as he took in the sight of Noah, naked, before him.

Fumbling for something witty, he said, "So the ark's not the only bit of wood my father gave you."

Noah grinned – his grey eyes flashing in lust. "Your father isn't the only one who gives me wood."

Jesus laughed. "I can see that." He reached for the hem of his tunic and began to tug it roughly over his head, revealing his chiselled torso, a gift from his dad. Noah watched, hungrily, as he slipped out of the rest of his clothes, leaving them in a son-of-godly heap on the floor.

Jesus stopped when he was in his underwear, a little embarrassed. He was the son of the creator of the entire universe, and he couldn't get some decent boxer-briefs. Noah's eyebrows shot up in acknowledgement of his Spiderman-patterned crotch.

"A Christmas gift…" he trailed off, hoping that was explanation enough.

"Hey, no, it's okay," Noah smiled, his eyes creasing in amusement, "I can't say mine are any better." He reached for his own pair – inside out, on the dresser – and flipped them around so that Jesus could more plainly see the leopard print transfer.

"I like them," Jesus cocked an eyebrow, considering how fitting it was that Noah should wear animal-printed boxers. "Do you have two pairs of those as well?"

Noah just smiled, tossing the underwear aside, and began to saunter forward lazily, completely aware of the effect the sight of his own throbbing member was having on Jesus, whose prominent, holy erection was now shamelessly calling to him from within the red and blue briefs.

Backing onto the cheap motel bed (nobody picked l'Hôtel de la Genèse for it's luxury accommodation – there were strip clubs in downtown Nazareth with higher standards), Jesus let Noah remove his underwear with his teeth, letting out a fervent moan at the pressure of Noah's removal against his own quivering shaft.

Jesus' eyes rolled back in his skull as Noah, as a reaction to his previous utterance, began to pursue the motion, small sounds of pleasure emanating from the back of his throat.

"The beard," Jesus moaned quietly, "it tickles…"

He heard a soft laugh in reply, as the older man crept forward, the two moving backwards together on the bed, until Jesus' head was inches from the shabby fabric headboard. Noah began with gentle caresses, pressing his lips to Jesus' washboard abs, slowly working his way down.

Jesus cried out in passion as Noah's lips reached his substantial manhood, and began to fellate; he was a master with his tongue, caressing expertly with a sensitive, yet dangerous, touch. To Jesus' intense shame, it did not last very long at all.

But Noah had other plans. The two began to kiss passionately, locked in a fiery embrace on the dirty sheets; Jesus did things with his tongue that Noah had never felt before – his phallus quivered with the intensity of it all.

Jesus pulled back, lust aflame in his eyes. He leaned in to Noah's ear and whispered, in honeyed tones, a final commandment.

"Thou shalt bend over."

Noah complied, and Jesus – the evidence of his passion completely recovered from his earlier emission – lowered his hips until they hovered, thighs tense with anticipation, behind Noah's smooth, toned backside.

Like a wild, untameable beast tensed to spring, Jesus licked his swollen lips before thrusting forward with savage desire. He smiled at Noah's sharp intake of breath as he adjusted to the sheer size of Jesus' love-sword.

"Yes!" Noah cried out in passion, "Jesus Christ!"

"I'm right here, baby," Jesus grunted, "right…here…"

For a while the only sounds that filled the room were the steady, rhythmic creak of bedsprings; the soft male panting and moaning from both men; and the gentle, intimate slap of skin on skin. Jesus' face was contorted with concentration and erotic pleasure, until – finally – he erupted in Noah's anal cavity, letting loose an orgasmic cry.

The two lay back on the sheets, breathing heavily, wrapped loosely in each other's arms.

"Father," Jesus panted, "for…forgive him."

Noah laughed breathlessly, and the two lay there together, on the edge of consciousness, listening to the music of the night, wafting in through the high window. The décor of the room hinted at what may have once been a slight sense of grandeur – the curtain printed with a pattern of wine glasses and fish.

A loud shout from the distant night penetrated the otherwise silent atmosphere.

"I think that's the sound of somebody being mugged," Jesus murmured, his brow creasing with tension. "Well, that means there are miracles to perform – I'd better…"

He trailed off as he looked down and took in the sigh of Noah, who had lapsed into unconsciousness, his lips parted with a slight smile. Disentangling himself from Noah's arms and rising gently from the bed, Jesus pulled the stained sheet up and covered his lover's body, leaning over to plant one last kiss on his forehead.

The son of God straightened up, and reached for his Spiderman boxer-briefs.

As he gazed down at Noah's sleeping form, Jesus smiled triumphantly to himself, and whispered fervently into the night. "I will come again."
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#377
i don't think that's appropriate dann...
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
SaintVitus
gdnsgdfadsghb
Join date: Jun 2013
80 IQ
#378
Why are you always angry god?

The french were hung around noon

Erectile dysfunction, bought viagra, problem solved
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,130 IQ
#379
Quote by MetaIronForce
Once there was an ugly barnacle


Your story's so bad everyone died.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please.
SaintVitus
gdnsgdfadsghb
Join date: Jun 2013
80 IQ
#381



DISCLAIMER: There's a very good chance that i have no idea what i'm talking about.

Quote by CodeMonk
Your sig has never been more true.
And you are a piss poor troll.

Quote by phayzze
Can someone explain to me wtf this guy is on about

Masquirina
battlepuppets
Join date: Nov 2012
130 IQ
#383
I think someone had a write the next paragraph of a story thread a few months ago, that's kind of much.
Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#384
I love you, don't leave me...
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
JamSessionFreak
King of the divant
Join date: Dec 2009
700 IQ
#385
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
Na juriš, na juriš, na juriš,
požgimo vsa gnila drevesa,
zemljo spremenimo v nebesa!
Vsem sonce naj sije,
le radost naj klije!
Na juriš, ohej, partizan,
pred tabo svobode je dan!
Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#386
Shrek left me, Shrek is strife
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
ultimate-slash
Playing the tempeh
Join date: Oct 2007
755 IQ
#387
So who the **** is Evan?
Leaving the choirs behind to sing
of anything fair
of lilac spring
.
Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#388
For sale: My voice, barely used.
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
Dregen
-
Join date: Dec 2007
2,365 IQ
#389
Quote by Harvey Swick
For sale: My voice, barely used.


ooo i like this
ultimate-slash
Playing the tempeh
Join date: Oct 2007
755 IQ
#392
Quote by ultimate-slash
So who the **** is Evan?

Seriously, who the **** is Evan?

I'm thinking about turning this into a trilogy.
Leaving the choirs behind to sing
of anything fair
of lilac spring
.
Guitar0player
UG's derby Spike
Join date: Aug 2006
3,154 IQ
#393
Sorry Daffy, But Bugs is dead...
Purple string dampener scrunchy.
Harvey Swick
Naive American
Join date: Jun 2011
1,260 IQ
#395
Im never gonna give you up
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

Proud to be called Best Friends with Pastafarian96
T00DEEPBLUE
Boba FRETT
Join date: Oct 2010
2,235 IQ
#396
Hello, its 2006 all over again
Regarding the furry fandom from the man himself:
Quote by Axelfox
Please understand how little we as a community care
Pastafarian96
Piano nerd for the ages
Join date: Dec 2013
2,454 IQ
#399
Quote by Harvey Swick
For sale: My voice, barely used.

borrowing this theme:

Free to a good home: Me.
si accepero tempus ego dilexi vos

Honoured friend of Harvey Swick

Fascinating stuff by me

A poem.

Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls