Another FAWM song... so quick demo quality. Quickly mashed together, didn't really have the time to practice the riffs, but it's ok I guess. :/


Life is so easy
As an internalized dream
A revitalized nightmare
Long I've heard this tune
Tautological phrases
Repeat in my head

"Free, alas, you will be
And no cage can refrain you!"

A misanthropist plan
Regarding my salvation:
Turn off the real world
And turn on your true self this time
Subservient to the goal
The flickering dies
With blow of

The battering wind
I know as my home
The wandering flood
Engulfs all within
The choir starts chanting
As I feel it rushing in
The Devil's music
I hear again

Like your face
I've seen this place a million times
Until it gets painful
I will stay in here
Like your trust
I broke my faith once before
A maddening tune
Nurtures my ears

Soothing glare
Of prying eyes upon your mind
A picturesque freeway
For souls lost in their ways
I hear my voice
Pathologically prevaricate
And sections awake
For a slender cry

Verses of a turgid manner
Pierce my memories
From the lost anthology
Of sane

The battering wind
I know as my home
The wandering flood
Engulfs all within
The choir starts chanting
As I feel it rushing in
The Devil's music
I hear again
Last edited by January85 at Feb 9, 2012,
The vocals are often off-tune. Otherwise not bad.
The more you say 'epic' the less it means.
Hey man, thanks for critiquing my song. I'm actually pretty amazed that you didn't say anything about the vocals... that's what everyone else had an issue with.

Anyways, listening to your tune now... at 0:34, you can hear that you edited in a separate take on the clean guitar because the first bit of its articulation is missing, aka the actual strum isn't there you just have the ringing notes that follow the strum.

Anyhow, as far as the composition goes, I like what I've heard so far and the mix does justice to the composition in the sense that I can hear the different parts pretty clearly.

RE: lyrics; during quoted part, swap "refrain" with "contain", refrain doesn't really work in a literal sense and contain is an alliteration which makes it sound better, plus the literal definition works better.

During the more quiet part with the piano, it sounds like the vocalist is trying to out-do his voice? The actual vocal part itself is good as written but I think as it is written, it might be a little too difficult for your vocalist to pull off without some more practice. Near the end of the song, it sounds like your singer is trying to sing out of his range on some of the higher notes he hangs on.

Around 5:00-6:00 minutes the song is kind of losing my interest. It's not that it's bad or poorly written, it's just that for whatever reason, it's not piquing my fancy, possibly because the are only two real emotions being conveyed throughout the entire song and, aside from the piano part and instrumental part, a lot of the distorted guitar parts end up sounding similar to each other because any change in emotion from that one is too quickly brushed aside instead of being explore. Again, just my opinion.

As far as the guitar solos go, they were played well, and your phrasing was good in the sense that you know when to repeat a particular phrase to keep your solos sounding continuous, but I didn't really hear anything that made me go, "Wow, that's a cool sound," and on that note, I feel like you could have condensed the song... the majority of the parts I heard during that 10 minutes sounded too similar to what I'd already heard in the song and it sounded like a lot of stuff I've already heard in the genre.

Overall, good song, good production, just not my cup of tea.