Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#1
This right here, this is a song I finished sort of recently. I did have the outro ready for probably over a year before I finished up all the parts that precede it though.

I'm quite happy with what I came up with, and as always, I don't listen to songs for inspirations very much, I try to come up with them through guitar pro or on the guitar without trying to force a riff-style, I hope that sort of shows.

In the recorded version, one of the guitars is glitched in the beginning of the glitch drum part, which sounds pretty coolio. I think.

Here's a recorded version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKraiL36X1g

And here's my Facebook page if you like what you hear:
http://www.facebook.com/AuroraAtNight

I will crit back, but I can't say for sure when I will have time. Also, while I always try my best when critting, I'm not so good at expressing myself, so I'm sorry in advance if my crits suck. :|
Attachments:
There's always money in the banana stand.gp5
BloodReverence
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2008
917 IQ
#2
Pretty sweet stuff dude, I really dig it. I think there needs to be some more upbeat drums in a couple parts just to kinda spice things up. It kinda keeps the whole half-time feel all the way through. ****ing love the recorded interlude though, it's so sick.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#3
Quote by BloodReverence
Pretty sweet stuff dude, I really dig it. I think there needs to be some more upbeat drums in a couple parts just to kinda spice things up. It kinda keeps the whole half-time feel all the way through. ****ing love the recorded interlude though, it's so sick.


Thanks a lot mate! Any suggestion on which parts of the song I should spice up?
Glad to hear! I was really satisfied with the interlude so that's cool!
blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#5
Personally, I think you played it pretty safe, which caused it to drag on a bit. You revolved the entire song around the minor sixth and the fourth (4 - 0 on the low string). With little deviation, it grew stagnant. The writing was solid underneath that, the riffs were enjoyable that sailed underneath those chords, but like I said, you played it all safe. It sounded like it was meant for a Parkway Drive softer song or something.

I would either shorten it, or diversify it more. Shit, maybe even both.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#6
Quote by BloodReverence
I think you should speed up the drums on the verse part man. Maybe write some vocal lines on it too and get someone to sing over it. That'd be so sick.

Would you mine critting my song?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1554269


Vocals will definitely be done, once I can sing them myself, so that'll be a while haha

Quote by blake1221
Personally, I think you played it pretty safe, which caused it to drag on a bit. You revolved the entire song around the minor sixth and the fourth (4 - 0 on the low string). With little deviation, it grew stagnant. The writing was solid underneath that, the riffs were enjoyable that sailed underneath those chords, but like I said, you played it all safe. It sounded like it was meant for a Parkway Drive softer song or something.

I would either shorten it, or diversify it more. Shit, maybe even both.


I definitely played it safe, this is also supposed to be a vocal-driven song, but sadly I haven't learned to sing/scream yet, so until then it will be sort of draggy, yes :|

However, I do like it the way it is now (or rather, how it will be with vocals), so I don't think I'll change the structure of the song. I'm mostly concerned about minor details that would help improve the song
BoDC
UG Newbie
Join date: Mar 2007
230 IQ
#7
i think its terrible
If anyone would like to collaborate with me via internetz, pm me.
Macabre_Turtle
UG's UGer
Join date: Oct 2006
640 IQ
#9
I actually really enjoyed this. It's not a style I typically listen to, because it does kind of a play it safe, but it's very well written none the less. It feels like it's meant to be one softer song in an album of mostly heavier material. Playing it safe isn't always a bad thing, and vocals will definitely bring this to life. The glitch stuff is cool too. The guitar seems to be a little bit out of tune in the clean section though. Probably an intonation issue?
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#10
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
I actually really enjoyed this. It's not a style I typically listen to, because it does kind of a play it safe, but it's very well written none the less. It feels like it's meant to be one softer song in an album of mostly heavier material. Playing it safe isn't always a bad thing, and vocals will definitely bring this to life. The glitch stuff is cool too. The guitar seems to be a little bit out of tune in the clean section though. Probably an intonation issue?


Thank you! It was written with vocals in mind, which is why it may seem a little bland at times and yeah.. I suck at intonation, so I wouldn't be surprised if that was it, haha

Also, I think you may like this song more:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1495946

Don't need to crit it though, just give it a listen