vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
Join date: Sep 2006
5,308 IQ
#1
.


the tittering sun that once carried my songs
aged and withered in whispers, all scarlet and blond,
locked in parchment inscribed in the branches of veins
(much like those on your palms)
braiding autumn leaf manes.

it's much quieter here
(far from feeding my lungs)
where my afterthoughts deal such a delicate stroke -
& instead of the slash, I stand biting my tongue
sighing only the portraits of what I had spoke.

they told me they loved me the moment I smiled
but were deaf to the screams leaking all through my teeth
til I burst like a blister of unfulfilled tides
flooding over the walls I could no longer feed.

should I burn all the trees just to unleash the clouds?
they're so carefully crafted by streams of my blood
but the only drops left are in crackles of brown,
just the bark of my dreams that once grew in the sun.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

kdownes
one among the Fence
Join date: Dec 2006
2,587 IQ
#2
Your writing is beautiful in both form and simplicity. You have a strong style that never feels forced or confining. I have no idea how you do it, but each of your pieces I've read since I've been back has touched me.
brokencoastline
(objects) ocean.
Join date: Jun 2009
577 IQ
#4
This feels quieter than I remember your writing being. It still reads like you but it feels more consistent I guess, like all the different images and phrases don't jump out at me but rather sit back and force me to dig through them more. I sort of miss that more insistent edge but this is really good. I hope that makes sense.
Ganoosh
big gay celadon crocodile
Join date: May 2009
2,692 IQ
#5
Sounds of modern adulthood. This poem, I think, is a very good thing.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
Join date: Sep 2006
5,308 IQ
#7
thanks guys. I agree that its quieter - I haven't been very bitter lately. I've been wanting to find that ferocity somewhere. for now, though, trying to hone on finesse
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja