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bradulator
normcore
Join date: Jul 2007
2,448 IQ
#81
I would offer to buy him a sandwich or something tangible like that instead. If he denied then too bad. Ain't gonna be lyin' to me and gettin' away with it.
andyscoot
UG Senior Member
Join date: Sep 2005
1,744 IQ
#82
They usually ask for more if you give them money around here. You only do it once then you never give anyone anything again.
Gmp
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
32 IQ
#83
Once when I was walking past a bus stop, the bus stopped and a man got off. He had scabs all over his face and the rest of his body, looked like he had been on meth for the past 10 years and had been in a fight for every one of those days. He asked for $2 from my friend, and pulled a beer out of nowhere and offered it as a trade. My friend just said you can have the $2, and that he didn't want the beer (this was in the middle of the afternoon in a busy city, having alcohol on the street is illegal and there were cops everywhere). He was insistent, and went up to my friend and patted down his pockets and looked inside his jacket to see if there was anywhere to hide the beer for him, for whatever reason.

I eventually offered to hold onto the beer for him as he would not give up, my other friend who was with us offered him some chips that we were eating. They were salt and vinegar chips, and the conversation went like this:

Friend: Hey man, do you want some chips?
Homeless bum: Nah.. I don't eat those. Do you want to know why?
F: Sure
HB: Do you want to know why?
F: Yeah, why man?
HB: ..... Do you want to know why?
F: Yes, why don't you eat chips?
HB: They're not my brand.
F: Oh, ok.
HB: Do you want to know what my brand is?
F: Okay.
HB: ..... Barbecue.

At this point he reached into his back pocket, and pulled out about ten $2 coins and a $5 note and started counting them, while mumbling to himself. We were pretty confused at this point, and then the really confusing thing happened: He started to piss himself.

Not just a little trickle, but a full stream of piss that was like a hose in his pants, dripping down onto the street. It went on for about thirty seconds full blast, and the weirdest thing is he didn't even notice. Or care. His facial expression did not change in the slightest, he just kept counting the coins. We kind of backed off slowly and just bailed from there, and I threw the beer in the nearest bin I could find.