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DegaDeth
Never seen Star Wars
Join date: Jan 2010
631 IQ
#81
Quote by ThrashUnleashed
I thought it actually was Sean Connery, having never seen him.


How is that...even possible? Never saw Sean Connery?


What?
Schecter Hellraiser Solo 6
Ibanez RGR321EX
Roland Microcube

RIP Dio _\m/

"There are times in your life when you have to ask yourself the question "What would Charlie Sheen do?""

Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.
Colgate Total
I <3 drugs
Join date: Sep 2007
2,211 IQ
#82
Javier Bardem was wasted as a villain. He could have been so much more intimidating. Where as he was cold, calculating, and cunning early in the movie, he regressed into an emotional maniac as the move went on.
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_______________________________________________
Last edited by zappp : Today at 4:20 PM. Reason: Suck on my balls, UG
ThrashUnleashed
stealing human bones
Join date: Apr 2011
443 IQ
#83
Quote by DegaDeth
How is that...even possible? Never saw Sean Connery?


What?


I'm only aware of a handful of movies he's been in, and I've just never seen them.
Quote by GuitarGod_92
when I die of a brain aneurysm I want it on record that its the film threads fault

Quote by GuitarGod_92
Movies are all bad every last one of them

Quote by yope
Fungus has a right to exist. It's a valid life form.
bradulator
normcore
Join date: Jul 2007
2,452 IQ
#84
Craig's best, and one of the best in the whole franchise.

People who don't think it was "James Bond" enough are so dumb.
People who don't think Javy Bardem was a killer villain are so dumb.
People who don't see similarities with TDKR are so dumb.
People who don't like James Bond are so dumb.
People who don't love this movie are so dumb.

Perfect balance of modern and classic stuff. All the subtle jokes were awesome too. Bardem is now a classic villain.

I can agree with Dready in thinking that there should be more spy stuff.
Mark Roxx
UG Dismember
Join date: Mar 2009
472 IQ
#85
I thought it was kick-ass.
That which does not kill us makes us cookies.
Zombee
UG Newbie
Join date: Nov 2008
146 IQ
#86
I liked it. It was definitely James Bonds-y enough. The plot was just too simple.

This guy calculated so much, but his plan at the end was pretty weak. Plus his plan and downfall was so petty... I liked the movie, though. The plot was just a bit disappointing.

I also found the product placement to be distracting.

EDIT: I've been watching a lot of BBC's Sherlock lately, and I was hoping for an intelligent, cunning villian like Moriarty.
This is why I don't like arguing on the internet.
Quote by damian_91
If only you could back that statement up.
Quote by Zombee
Wolfgang's Philadelphia Study. Look it up yourself.
Quote by damian_91
No need to, absurd generalizations aren't my thing.
Guitarlord44
UG's Wizard
Join date: Jul 2007
1,086 IQ
#87
Best Bond Film. Ever.

Raoul Silva is easily my favorite Bond villain. The character itself wasn't written very well but Javier Bardems performance was outstanding.
Jyrgen
Used Register
Join date: Jan 2010
2,057 IQ
#88
The best thing about the Aston Martini DB5was that it was not simply a gimmick but instead came off as a nice nod to the past. If it had been done wrong, there would've been a chase scene during which Bond would've used the oil slick, the smoke screen etc.
gabcd86
isn't French.
Join date: Jul 2007
2,030 IQ
#89
Quote by Zombee
I liked it. It was definitely James Bonds-y enough. The plot was just too simple.

This guy calculated so much, but his plan at the end was pretty weak. Plus his plan and downfall was so petty... I liked the movie, though. The plot was just a bit disappointing.

I also found the product placement to be distracting.

EDIT: I've been watching a lot of BBC's Sherlock lately, and I was hoping for an intelligent, cunning villian like Moriarty.


Yeah, it all seemed a bit overly convoluted for not much payoff.
Like, dude, why go through all that Batman gambit ****ery just to swagger into a courtroom and shoot a bitch?
red_hot_chili18
Russian Circles.
Join date: Feb 2008
1,105 IQ
#90
Quote by chaoticfables
I haven't seen the movie. Was Muse's Supremacy included in the film? >_>


No, I couldn't help think that it would be played during the ending, but it wasn't
blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#91



The movie starts off pretty sick, great fight scene, great chases, yay. Unfortunately, it appears they've run out of ideas. Very quickly, the movie starts taking numerous cues from the television show, Archer. Quick quips between agents in a cramped car, chasing an enemy through crowded foreign streets? Why, that's the exact opening of Season 1, Episode 9 of Archer. Found that a little odd, but, overlook-able since the whole movie can't be constructed on Archer's covered ground. The chase ends brilliantly on a dramatic train top fight, which was troped and lampooned in Season 3, Episode 6 of Archer. I digress.

The first big incident that happened was totally avoidable, to me. Less of a judgement of the movie as a whole, and more the character, but the blunder was so stupid that it really stuck out to me. When Moneypenny (u wot m8) shoots and "kills" mother****ing James Bond, how incompetent do you have to be? She clearly didn't have a shot, and it's James Bond, who given his track record was a shoe-in to win that fight eventually. She should have trusted the #1 agent in the world to do his job, and had the common sense to use better judgement and not shoot him. Off a train. On a bridge. Hundreds of stories high. Right. Bad Moneypenny.

We are then treated to a whale's song moaning through the title credits. I felt the title sequence overstayed it's welcome, but we just had to hear Adele's wonderful contribution to the WDCS.

Bad things are happening in London. No complaints. Pretty cool premise of the movie, what with the whole attacking from the inside. Unfortunately, at this point in the movie, we are introduced to the theme of the film I like to call "James Bond and M are getting TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!" (read the italicized in Dave Coulier's voice) where apparently, James Bond and M are, you guessed it, just too old for this job. Is that a done again theme? Yep. Is that bad? No, not at all. Did they handle it poorly? Yes. More on that later.

Lo and behold, Bond is not dead. He's just been enjoying his fake death. We're introduced to him as a drunk, with a lovely woman in bed, on a tropical getaway. Where does this feel familiar, though? An agent is presumed dead/missing, but they're really just using their downtime to escape their responsibilities via equatorial escape? Why, that's Season 3 Episode 1 of Archer!

NOT. EVEN. SHITTING. YOU.

Anyways, Bond's not dead, sees the terrorist attack, comes back to serve his country. In a miraculously carelessly overlooked moment, the shrapnel in Bond's body doesn't react like most alien substances to a bodies immune system, by you know, infection and whatnot. It just stays there perfectly nice, waiting to be excavated months later. I digress (I don't know how to properly use that word). In a stunning surprise, he fails every test he takes but this is hidden for now, as M had to prove a point and keep him in the field. He gets a pass and the movie gets in motion. We are treated to a visually stunning and brilliant fight sequence as Bond attempts to stop an assassination. Why Bond waited until after his assassination was complete, I wasn't quite sure, but that whole scene was ****ing gorgeous so I'm not going to complain. We are now introduced to the lovely Sévérine, who is painfully beautiful.

With the recovered gambling chip, we end up in a lavish casino.

*The set pieces in this movie deserve applause, the film was breathtaking at times. The warm tones of the casino were a perfect contrast to the cold blues and grays that dominated the film. Lovely, lovely work there.*

It is in this casino that we are treated to terribad CGI komodo dragons, that because I was a little stoned, caused me to laugh. Sorry. Not an indictment of the movie, I just thought it was funny. Bond meets Sévérine, correct me if I misunderstood, who was a captive of her boss, and a former sex slave of one of Asia's several illicit sex trade organizations. He escapes her captors after her departure, in some more great fight scenes and terrible CGI moments. He joins her on the boat, and I realize how truly big a piece of shit Bond is. Granting me that my understanding of Sévérine's character is correct, his first priority in handling a woman who has lived a tortured sex life is to sneak up behind her and immediately have his way with her. No mercy or apologetics for her troubled, miserable history. He just wants to bang bang bang the drum. Whatever, he's Bond. I got a kick out of that.

They get to the island. They are captured. Taken to Silva. Silva kills Sévérine. I has a sad. Nothing outstanding here but a hilarious performance by Javier Bardem playing the gay antipode to his character in No Country for Old Men. His molestation of Bond was ****ing funny. His one liners and double entendres were all made funnier when I imagined his No Country for Old Men character delivering those lines. Sorry. The scenes on the island were pretty cool, but Silva's captured and all is well.

We learn quickly of Silva's history and just how worrisome the Mommy brainwashing system M's reign left on her agents. Both Silva and Bond have nonstop emotional ties likening her to a mother, and these issues, I'm pretty sure, are what turned Silva gay. This is unfounded, completely, but I like to thing that Bond's mental review where they state his authoritative issues due to her worked as a mirror for Silva's as well. Just had adverse and more extreme effects on the guy she betrayed and tried to murder. It is at this point in the movie where that earlier point of "too old for this shit" has been repeatedly bashed into the audience's mind. They wouldn't ****ing shut up about it. Like, I get the theme. I do. I can respect it, cliché as it is, but do they not understand subtlety? Did they have to make it so obvious that they bludgeon you in the head until you're sick of it? Shit. That's my biggest issue right there.

I'll wrap this up. They go to Skyfall, and barricade, and pay rightful homage to Home Alone. They're attacked, M is shot, the plot continues, Silva catches M and Skyfallman in the chapel. Silva decides at this point to break into classic Bond Villain dialogue and awkwardly, sexually approaches M and embraces her. He puts a gun to his head and wants nothing more than for her to pull the trigger and end both of their existences. In the mean time, Skyfallman, a tried and true scrapper, does nothing. Luckily for Captain Clueless, Bond shows up and knifes Silva. M dies. Boohoo.

The most grievous plot point now arrives. All is well in London, and Bond receives his next assignment. Let's get this straight. Bond fails his educational test. He fails his physical test. He fails his psychological test. He's granted field work anyways. THEN HE FAILS HIS FIELD WORK ASSIGNMENT. HE LETS M DIE. And I'm supposed to believe that none of the "you're too old, Bond" issues are miraculously out of the picture? NO. They spent 2 hours drilling that idea into your cranium and then they're going to act like it just poofs away? **** that. Then they're just going to put him back in the field? No. He should retire. He failed.



All in all, I thought it was beautifully shot and well performed. None of the performances were short of spectacular and M's poem scene was wonderful. Those issues just really kept removing me from the film until I had completely taken it apart. It's a fun movie, a fun Bond film, but I don't know if I hold it at too high a standard or something.
lolmnt
Earth of the Butt
Join date: Sep 2006
4,159 IQ
#94
It's just James Bond. You don't gotta dissect it.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#95
Quote by element4433
It's just James Bond. You don't gotta dissect it.


That's what I'm thinking, and the whole "too high a standard thing."


The problem was, I saw it when I was slightly stoned. I was able to grasp all the concepts, but my mind was constantly dissecting every action. I think it robbed it of its value. But now that I'm sober, the arguments (the less extravagant ones) seem to be holding up to me still.
bradulator
normcore
Join date: Jul 2007
2,452 IQ
#96
Quote by blake1221



The movie starts off pretty sick, great fight scene, great chases, yay. Unfortunately, it appears they've run out of ideas. Very quickly, the movie starts taking numerous cues from the television show, Archer. Quick quips between agents in a cramped car, chasing an enemy through crowded foreign streets? Why, that's the exact opening of Season 1, Episode 9 of Archer. Found that a little odd, but, overlook-able since the whole movie can't be constructed on Archer's covered ground. The chase ends brilliantly on a dramatic train top fight, which was troped and lampooned in Season 3, Episode 6 of Archer. I digress.

The first big incident that happened was totally avoidable, to me. Less of a judgement of the movie as a whole, and more the character, but the blunder was so stupid that it really stuck out to me. When Moneypenny (u wot m8) shoots and "kills" mother****ing James Bond, how incompetent do you have to be? She clearly didn't have a shot, and it's James Bond, who given his track record was a shoe-in to win that fight eventually. She should have trusted the #1 agent in the world to do his job, and had the common sense to use better judgement and not shoot him. Off a train. On a bridge. Hundreds of stories high. Right. Bad Moneypenny.

Lo and behold, Bond is not dead. He's just been enjoying his fake death. We're introduced to him as a drunk, with a lovely woman in bed, on a tropical getaway. Where does this feel familiar, though? An agent is presumed dead/missing, but they're really just using their downtime to escape their responsibilities via equatorial escape? Why, that's Season 3 Episode 1 of Archer!

NOT. EVEN. SHITTING. YOU.


Anyways, Bond's not dead, sees the terrorist attack, comes back to serve his country. In a miraculously carelessly overlooked moment, the shrapnel in Bond's body doesn't react like most alien substances to a bodies immune system, by you know, infection and whatnot. It just stays there perfectly nice, waiting to be excavated months later. I digress (I don't know how to properly use that word). In a stunning surprise, he fails every test he takes but this is hidden for now, as M had to prove a point and keep him in the field. He gets a pass and the movie gets in motion. We are treated to a visually stunning and brilliant fight sequence as Bond attempts to stop an assassination. Why Bond waited until after his assassination was complete, I wasn't quite sure, but that whole scene was ****ing gorgeous so I'm not going to complain. We are now introduced to the lovely Sévérine, who is painfully beautiful.

With the recovered gambling chip, we end up in a lavish casino.

*The set pieces in this movie deserve applause, the film was breathtaking at times. The warm tones of the casino were a perfect contrast to the cold blues and grays that dominated the film. Lovely, lovely work there.*

It is in this casino that we are treated to terribad CGI komodo dragons, that because I was a little stoned, caused me to laugh. Sorry. Not an indictment of the movie, I just thought it was funny. Bond meets Sévérine, correct me if I misunderstood, who was a captive of her boss, and a former sex slave of one of Asia's several illicit sex trade organizations. He escapes her captors after her departure, in some more great fight scenes and terrible CGI moments. He joins her on the boat, and I realize how truly big a piece of shit Bond is. Granting me that my understanding of Sévérine's character is correct, his first priority in handling a woman who has lived a tortured sex life is to sneak up behind her and immediately have his way with her. No mercy or apologetics for her troubled, miserable history. He just wants to bang bang bang the drum. Whatever, he's Bond. I got a kick out of that.

They get to the island. They are captured. Taken to Silva. Silva kills Sévérine. I has a sad. Nothing outstanding here but a hilarious performance by Javier Bardem playing the gay antipode to his character in No Country for Old Men. His molestation of Bond was ****ing funny. His one liners and double entendres were all made funnier when I imagined his No Country for Old Men character delivering those lines. Sorry. The scenes on the island were pretty cool, but Silva's captured and all is well.

We learn quickly of Silva's history and just how worrisome the Mommy brainwashing system M's reign left on her agents. Both Silva and Bond have nonstop emotional ties likening her to a mother, and these issues, I'm pretty sure, are what turned Silva gay. This is unfounded, completely, but I like to thing that Bond's mental review where they state his authoritative issues due to her worked as a mirror for Silva's as well. Just had adverse and more extreme effects on the guy she betrayed and tried to murder. It is at this point in the movie where that earlier point of "too old for this shit" has been repeatedly bashed into the audience's mind. They wouldn't ****ing shut up about it. Like, I get the theme. I do. I can respect it, cliché as it is, but do they not understand subtlety? Did they have to make it so obvious that they bludgeon you in the head until you're sick of it? Shit. That's my biggest issue right there.

I'll wrap this up. They go to Skyfall, and barricade, and pay rightful homage to Home Alone. They're attacked, M is shot, the plot continues, Silva catches M and Skyfallman in the chapel. Silva decides at this point to break into classic Bond Villain dialogue and awkwardly, sexually approaches M and embraces her. He puts a gun to his head and wants nothing more than for her to pull the trigger and end both of their existences. In the mean time, Skyfallman, a tried and true scrapper, does nothing. Luckily for Captain Clueless, Bond shows up and knifes Silva. M dies. Boohoo.

The most grievous plot point now arrives. All is well in London, and Bond receives his next assignment. Let's get this straight. Bond fails his educational test. He fails his physical test. He fails his psychological test. He's granted field work anyways. THEN HE FAILS HIS FIELD WORK ASSIGNMENT. HE LETS M DIE. And I'm supposed to believe that none of the "you're too old, Bond" issues are miraculously out of the picture? NO. They spent 2 hours drilling that idea into your cranium and then they're going to act like it just poofs away? **** that. Then they're just going to put him back in the field? No. He should retire. He failed.



All in all, I thought it was beautifully shot and well performed. None of the performances were short of spectacular and M's poem scene was wonderful. Those issues just really kept removing me from the film until I had completely taken it apart. It's a fun movie, a fun Bond film, but I don't know if I hold it at too high a standard or something.


We are treated to a visually stunning and brilliant fight sequence as Bond attempts to stop an assassination. Why Bond waited until after his assassination was complete, I wasn't quite sure, but that whole scene was ****ing gorgeous so I'm not going to complain.

He didn't give a damn about stopping the assassination.

And I do agree about the whole "resurrection" theme being overdone.

All of your other criticisms are lame Blakey. The aesthetic of Bond is what inspires Archer, because Archer is a spoof of such over the top things as James Bond.

Have you ever seen a James Bond movie? Everything you are criticizing the movie for is everything that makes James Bond movies what they are. Cheesy dialogue, check. Silly animal things, check. Unrealistic circumstances, check. Bond being an alcoholic, cold hearted womanizer, check. All things that have been prominent in Bond films for 50 years. So clearly there is an intent to have all of these things in the movie. They wanted Bond to be a dick. They wanted painful puns and double entendres. They wanted Bond to be in positions that in real life he would unable to overcome, only to have him defy all logic and overcome them. Surely after 50 years they know what they are putting in their movies. So IMO it's unfair to criticize a movie for succeeding in including the things that it meant to include. Like, i'm not going to criticize Machete for being really ridiculous and over the top because it was trying to be that way; i'm going to criticize how effective they were in achieving the ridiculous, over the top aesthetic. I am going to criticize Red Dawn for having what seems like unintentionally bad diologue, and to a lesser extent an unintentionally bad concept. I am not going to criticize a Bond movie for deus ex machina and Bond being an insensitive misogynist. I am going to criticize it on the basis of how Bond it is, how effective it is in keeping me interested, how fun it is, and how hilariously bad the puns are. I'm not going to judge Skyfall in the same mindset that i'm going to judge No Country for Old Men. It's like Batman and other stuff like that; i'm gonna judge it from within its canon. That is why I find your criticisms to be unfair and WRONG WRONG WRONG! mwahahaha

blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#97
THAT'S WHY I SAID I DID IT A DISSERVICE BY BEING A LITTLE HIGH BRADLEY I'M SO SORRY FORGIVE ME


You're totally right though. I don't watch near enough Bond movies, so it was harder to appreciate a lot of it. Most everything is completely overlook-able EXCEPT for the "too old theme." That's an honest problem I have with the film. They knew nothing of subtlety and just beat you over the head with it.

You are right about everything else.


But seriously


the girl was a sex slave


and he just ****s her.


;___;
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#98
I actually did laugh when he did that girl on the boat. It was soooo Bond that he had sex with her she talks about being a sex slave.

Damn Bond, you such a playa! lol


It actually seemed like something that would be in Archer.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Last edited by WCPhils at Dec 22, 2012,
blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#99
Yeah, way to take advantage of the emotionally crippled, you dog you
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#100
Quote by blake1221
Yeah, way to take advantage of the emotionally crippled, you dog you

I meant laugh at how stupid it was and how that would only happen in a Bond movie.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#101
I realize that Archer is based on James Bond, but when James Bond plot points take from Archer plot points, it appears we've reached the nexus of the universe.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#102
Quote by blake1221
I realize that Archer is based on James Bond, but when James Bond plot points take from Archer plot points, it appears we've reached the nexus of the universe.

If every movie took plots points from Archer the world would be a better place imo.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
bradulator
normcore
Join date: Jul 2007
2,452 IQ
#103


dat sex slave was hot though sex slave or not, I can't blame him

I laughed out loud at that part.

And I genuinely did not like the overemphasis of being too old.
blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
711 IQ
#104
I think I just over-exaggerated everything. It was still fun as hell because we were the only ones in the theater so my brother and friend and I just cracked jokes.


Archer is so great. 4th season wooo!
soundgarden1986
vaporwave queen
Join date: Jun 2006
1,340 IQ
#105
I doubt that plot point came from Archer itself. Sure, it was in the show. But I'm sure there are thousands of other movies/shows before it that had that same thing going on.

And yeah, I am pretty excited for the new season. I might just wait until it's all over, then marathon the hell out of it.
jjfeu662
Celestia
Join date: Jun 2012
1,996 IQ
#106
It was a generic modern action movie.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA