Gageycakes
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
10 IQ
#1
Not much to crit on but just wanted to know if this is anything worthwhile. Trying to stray away from using too many time signatures so it's just 4/4.

Ignore the repeats if need be. And the drums were just a test. I can't write drums for shit.

C4C. Let me know what you think.

Cheers.

[Edit: Programmed some drums. Don't blame me if they're terrible haha.]

[Edit 2: Changed the drums up and slapped on some bass yay or nay?]

[Edit 3: Changed up the bass, still haven't got round to changing the loop. Tell me if it sounds better]

[Edit 4: Took out the repeat and changed it up. Bit iffy on the key change but I like it. Added some heavy in the build at the end.]
Attachments:
New Riff.gp5
New Riff v2.gp5
Last edited by Gageycakes at Nov 20, 2012,
EpiExplorer
.Daerht ruoy desolc I
Join date: May 2008
1,830 IQ
#2
I actually really like it. Its got some musical quirkiness that works for me. It sounds like the build up to the beginning of a track.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
Gageycakes
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
10 IQ
#3
I also thought it was some sort of build because of the end of the riff before the transition phase.

I think the transition leaves options too for it to continue and for the drums and bass to take lead for a section. I don't know. Not much of a prolific composer. Most my songs just end up being a collection of riffs. But we'll see if I get time to work on this.

I too like it. It's very different for me.
Aays
Lurking as usual
Join date: Jul 2009
716 IQ
#4
I agree, it's quirky in all the right ways. The interplay between the guitars works so well it's kinda... surprising actually.
*insert trying-too-hard-to-be-ironic link to my crappy music here*
Gageycakes
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
10 IQ
#6
Added some drums and not sure where to take it now. They're probably crap but hey I feel they work.

[Edit: added bass check first post]
Last edited by Gageycakes at Nov 12, 2012,
Quibokk
Kiwi
Join date: Apr 2009
152 IQ
#7
This is certainly interesting. I agree with the above comments that the interplay between the guitars shows some promise, although I feel that you could refine it more - for example, rather than repeating the same thing twice, make some minor alterations on the repeat.

Bass isn't downright bad, although stylistically it doesn't really fit with the guitars, imo. I feel like a walking bassline or something might be a step in a direction that would help make this feel more cohesive. As for instrument choice, I think that electric bass finger would suit this better, or maybe acoustic bass, depending on where this goes.

As for drums, I feel as though you have accentuations in parts where there shouldn't be any. I can't really specify much more than that, since I'm not much of a drum-writer myself - I stick to more typical and easy rhythms.

I think this is a good start, keep going with it.
Gageycakes
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
10 IQ
#8
i thought that too. I didn't think it would work as one play through so i just repeated it for ease. I'll change it up when I get home, thank you for the idea.

I agree with you one the bass. I tried to employ a fretless bass but I am unsure of how to fit it in dynamically and stylistically as I am not a bass player and am unaware of bass techniques. Which leads me to ask what exactly is a walking bass? I guess I'll just google it. The finger bass would be better considering the heavier ending and I'm thinking this is gonna progress into some metal arrangement.

I only really choose the slap bass because of how dynamic it is and it is more audible (on my speakers anyway).

I'm terrible at drums and simple rhythms don't interest me enough I don't know why. Plus I have no idea how the drum parts should mould together.

Thankyou for the in depth crit it's very much appreciated. I'll get working on it soon.

Are there any of your works that you would like criticism on?
monkeysintheday
Freakin' Feminist
Join date: Oct 2007
112 IQ
#9
This sounds really cool, I'm just curious as to why you didn't simply write it in 3.
BRIAN. SCHNEIDER.
Gageycakes
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2011
10 IQ
#10
Thanks man. And I don't know guess I just wanted to write it in 4/4.

Added a new version with what I think is walking bass. And don't mind the riff at the end it's just there so I can remember it.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
284 IQ
#11
I am highly offended as I was really insulted by your crit. That is all I have to say.


Well, not really, but my 'older' songs really are that boring eh? Hope I've improved since then, then! Then.

On to the crit! The song is interesting, keeps you listening, I guess I have but one thing to say: the 0-2 chord on bar 37-38 and 40-41 of "Distorted Guitar" seems a bit off considering the mood of the rest of the song, but if that's how you like it then it's fine. Other than that, solid, nice-to-listen-to song, now finish it