Toadvine
Obviously, not a golfer
Join date: May 2010
829 IQ
#1
Hey, just got Chinese got my cookie it said.

Turn your thoughts within -- find yourself

Which is. . . . well, whatever, but it gave me an idea.

Write your own fortune cookie fortune.

It could be fun, probably won't be, but it just might stifle my boredom until I drink myself into high spirits.

I'll start:


In your future your father will hate you more than he does today
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
731 IQ
#3
"Confucius say TS is a knob."
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,141 IQ
#4
Here's something fun to try doing: read your fortune and then say "in the back of a car" after it.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please. This as well.
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
731 IQ
#6
Treasure what you have. (in the back of your car)

Learn Chinese: You = Suck

wut
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


Joshua Garcia
Joshole
Join date: Jun 2009
5,715 IQ
#7
Even better:
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Have anybody went on high lately?
v Smash dat mf
rockingamer2
Larmarky Remark
Join date: Nov 2006
408 IQ
#8
"Cwowded erevator smell diffwent to midget," Confucius say.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
731 IQ
#10
I've never had a fortune cookie.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


metal4eva_22
PonyFan #376121
Join date: Jul 2006
890 IQ
#14
"I urinated in your food."

-The Crimson Fucker, aka PonyFan #376121
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
731 IQ
#16
Quote by genghisgandhi
Do they even have Chinese food in the UK? (by Chinese I mean American-Chinese food, like General Tso's)


Yes. We have it all. Except ours is actually made by Chinese people and aren't shitty chains.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


jjfeu662
Celestia
Join date: Jun 2012
1,996 IQ
#17
I'm right behind you.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA
snipelfritz
Senior Fun Correspondent
Join date: May 2006
1,554 IQ
#20
I couldn't care less about fortune cookie fortunes.

But I love fortune cookies. ****ing delicious.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
Bladez22
Faerie boy
Join date: Sep 2010
241 IQ
#21
Quote by Trowzaa
Yes. We have it all. Except ours is actually made by Chinese people and aren't shitty chains.


This, my local Chinese food take away is epic

I once got "A new relationship is right around the corner"... If by right around the corner they meant three years later then they were right. The cookie was ****ing nice though
I guess I still miss you
Oh well, it's me and you
What else should we do?
When talking is for functioning people
Bair
UG Fanatic
Join date: Sep 2005
2,875 IQ
#22
Dong, Where is my automobile?
"Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!"

"And there's Jimmy Page, the biggest thief of American Blues music"
Toadvine
Obviously, not a golfer
Join date: May 2010
829 IQ
#23
Quote by Bair
Dong, Where is my automobile?


Nice.
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
Bad Kharmel
Registered User
Join date: May 2009
167 IQ
#24
I once got a fortune cookie that said "A true patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket, and rejoices that the system works"
RetroGunslinger
Registered User
Join date: May 2010
1,060 IQ
#25
On a related note, is there satay sauce AND peanut satay sauce? Because everytime I ordered a chicken satay at home I got peanut satay, no matter what Chinky i used, now that I'm at uni every time I order satay I get this really spicy one that doesn't taste anything like peanuts. I've always just assumed that satay was meant to be all peanutty
My Gear:
BC Rich Gunslinger Retro Blade
Vintage V100 Paradise + SD Alnico Pro Slash APH-2's
1963 Burns Short Scale Jazz Guitar
Dean Performer Florentine
Bugera 6260
Orange Micro Terror + cab
Digitech Bad Monkey
Zoom G2G
Bad Kharmel
Registered User
Join date: May 2009
167 IQ
#26
Quote by RetroGunslinger
On a related note, is there satay sauce AND peanut satay sauce? Because everytime I ordered a chicken satay at home I got peanut satay, no matter what Chinky i used, now that I'm at uni every time I order satay I get this really spicy one that doesn't taste anything like peanuts. I've always just assumed that satay was meant to be all peanutty

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satay
RetroGunslinger
Registered User
Join date: May 2010
1,060 IQ
#27
Quote by Bad Kharmel


Ah so the satay name refers to the meat and not the sauce, although it does say that peanut sauce is almost always used and doesn't mention anything that sounds like what I've been eating. Also the ones I've been getting just have the same chicken you get in any other dish, I'am reporting them for false advertising at once.
My Gear:
BC Rich Gunslinger Retro Blade
Vintage V100 Paradise + SD Alnico Pro Slash APH-2's
1963 Burns Short Scale Jazz Guitar
Dean Performer Florentine
Bugera 6260
Orange Micro Terror + cab
Digitech Bad Monkey
Zoom G2G