I was bored yesterday so i started to write this song. It's not ready yet. So tell me what you think And C4C

EDIT: I added couple new riffs. I'm not sure if they fit into the context They are kinda weird. But give your opinions
Last edited by t0mm1_ at Dec 2, 2012,
Pretty decent actually, first riff has an interesting chord in it. Needs bass though.

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24th and 25th bar sounds like Tool's Lateralus ripoff.
I like the rest of the song.
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The image in my head is just too funny for words at this point

Aw yeah.
This demands bass guitar! I could do bass tracks for u if u want, im damn bored
Metal is like a apple, no-one likes the core.
Digging the heavy bits.....intro was kinda creepy, works well, but feels kinda barebones? I can imagine some drone chords/ambient-y sounds there.....
Needs bass as previously mentioned

AND double bass......a few 16th note triplets here and there would spice it up nicely.

The later bits have a really swell groove to them. Maybe add some ambient bits, like after the chorus in Old Days Born Anew by Textures? A lead line would work well towards the end as well.
sure, if you like them
Metal is like a apple, no-one likes the core.