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Burgery
crack hitler
Join date: Nov 2009
3,179 IQ
#41
i'd have said i didn't have any

dick
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
Child In Time
no talk of weather
Join date: May 2004
438 IQ
#42
What is the point of this thread?! I don't even have pockets at the mo, so no quid.
Friends, applaud the comedy is over.


I'd dance with you but...


jjfeu662
Celestia
Join date: Jun 2012
1,996 IQ
#43
Chavs are wimps. Put your fists behind you and say "which hand's it in?". Whichever one they say punch them with that hand. The other ones will either run away or come after you. Punch both of them with each hand.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA
Trowzaa
TwoWorldWars&OneWorldCup
Join date: Mar 2009
731 IQ
#45
I SPIT SUM MC MUSHY AT DEM N DEY R WEL SWND AFTA DAT. WANTED 4 BIN A SIK MC.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


treborillusion
UG Fanatic
Join date: May 2009
3,126 IQ
#47
Last summer, I was out in my ripped as hell Levis...

This young dirty looking chav mumbled to me
"You should get your trousers sorted out..."
I ignored him
then like a minute later, this fit girl who, maybe saw me blank that chav or whatever;
came up to me and said
"I like your jeans."
Like, she complimented them and smiled at me which made me smile as I was walking down the High Street, I was polite and charming and even grinning a little, I thanked her and said something about her I liked too.

I have this I don't give a sh*t attitude and, usually, ignoring strangers works.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.
Last edited by treborillusion at Dec 6, 2012,
a_7_x
x'; DROP TABLE *; --
Join date: Sep 2006
425 IQ
#48
I was in Paisley today and some neddy guy came up

"here mate, have you got a spare fag?"
"yeah, here you go"
"cheers man, wanted one before work"

No problem at all.
Philip_pepper
Banned
Join date: Apr 2008
4,955 IQ
#49
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
The Brits are too pussy for guns; they use knives.


Are knives more hardcore? You can shoot a gun from a distance. With a knife you need to get up close and personal, risk injury yourself, and stab a couple of times for total effect.
Cb4rabid
K♦️
Join date: May 2009
2,628 IQ
#50
Quote by Philip_pepper
Are knives more hardcore? You can shoot a gun from a distance. With a knife you need to get up close and personal, risk injury yourself, and stab a couple of times for total effect.

Try bringing a knife to a gunfight, bruh.
pinga
Crazyedd123
Seeking electricity
Join date: Jan 2009
2,158 IQ
#52
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
The Brits are too hard for guns; they use knives.

FTFY.

But really, chavs are retarded...
Breakfast, Breakfast, it's great for us
We eat, we eat, we eat
That frozen meat
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, it can't be beat
The9
UG's evil mastermind
Join date: Jan 2011
940 IQ
#54
Told him no and eyeballed that bitch
You are part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor.

Philip_pepper
Banned
Join date: Apr 2008
4,955 IQ
#55
Quote by metalblaster
the **** is a quid.


is this a quidditch joke.

Seriously never heard of it? It's a pound. It's like Americans calling a dollar a buck.

Or New Zealanders calling it sheep.
Mark Roxx
UG Dismember
Join date: Mar 2009
472 IQ
#56
Pretend i'm the host of a home makeover show and burn down his house.
That which does not kill us makes us cookies.
beefcake122
no fun.
Join date: Jan 2010
350 IQ
#58
I'm glad I live in the country
when I was in Columbus some ****** asked me if I had any money because he needed to use a pay phone, didn't care if he was lying or not just gave him all of my change which was probably a couple bucks
we should just put homeless people into camps
sunbather is shit
Toadvine
Obviously, not a golfer
Join date: May 2010
829 IQ
#59
I write him a check.

Last one, I asked him his name and address. He told me, I didn't believe him so I started to walk off. He said my name's Walter man. I gave him a quarter, he said you better give me more than a quarter man I gave you my name. I told him to f*ck off.

I should've been stabbed so many times by now. I have had a knife drawn on me before though.
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
cptcomet
Band
Join date: Feb 2008
648 IQ
#60
I would have just said yeah. Then carry on walking.

It's always funny when the crackheads come up to you and ask 'have you got 32pence?' I just say 'no sorry mate I have 86p'.
455 75 34 88


(´・ω・`)


Quote by strait jacket
Do you like being sigged or, like me do you feel strangely violated?
Last edited by cptcomet at Dec 7, 2012,
SlackerBabbath
Est. 1966.
Join date: Apr 2007
264 IQ
#61
Quote by Nero Galon
So I just walked home from college...

On the way home three chavs came up to me and asked "Alright Laaaaaa, got a quid?". Because I know he just wanted trouble I totally blanked him, and his reaction was "****ing ignore me!"

Funny stuff indeed...

Now then, I know this is probably only something that you would encounter in the UK, but what would you have done?


I'd mug the chav, then say 'I have now, thanks.'
Junglie
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2010
134 IQ
#62
I'd tell him to get to fcuk.

Quote by KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
Remember when Orange used to lend you a quid?

that shit was so raven


I think BT Cellnet used to do this as well. Those were the days.

EDIT: I remember once I was at a service station, in my uniform, changing a tyre and this bloke came up to me "sorry, mate, but I was hoping you could help me. My fuel lights come on, I've lost my wallet, and was hoping I had enough to get me home. I normally use my business fuel card, but like I said, I've lost my wallet". I was all 'meh, I just got paid, I'll give him a tenner'.

He took my barrack address and when I got back to work there was a thank you card with a cheque inside. Not all people are scumbags.
Quote by thePTOD
I love you.
Last edited by Junglie at Dec 7, 2012,
Sleaze Disease
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2006
420 IQ
#63
Quote by treborillusion
I have this I don't give a sh*t attitude

You sound like you're trying way too hard.

Nobody cares that your jeans are ripped to hell and if you actually had that attitude, you wouldn't have to outright say it.

You sound like someone who tries to convince people you're cool by actually saying that you're cool.
Quote by SteveHouse
This thread is officially about sucking Sleaze off for a sig.


Quote by tayroar
Hey Sleaze I'll give you a blowjob if you sig me. Maybe even some nudey photos?


Quote by crazy8rgood


Sleaze, that made me lulz in my pants.


Quote by 36mikeyb36
hahaha Sleaze i'd give you my mom for that one.
CrazyPigeon
Ugh.
Join date: Jul 2007
573 IQ
#64
Some kids tried to mug me for my phone as I was walking home from the pub one night. I told them to do one. One of them tried to break a bottle on a lamp post and just hurt themself. Then one of their mothers picked them up.
Wolfinator-x
Teeth
Join date: Apr 2007
1,337 IQ
#65
I would have emerged from my human-shaped cocoon, taken him, started flying away and sucked his brains out from his ear with my trunk.
You are now using UG Black.
You are now using UG Classic.
Artists I'm listening to a lot lately:
Stray Cats, Gustav Holst

Mah Youtube vids.
if you truly loved me, you'd watch them (psst; it's not just glam stuff)

Mah Soundcloud
ali.guitarkid7
Gets Easier
Join date: Oct 2009
2,304 IQ
#66
Quote by piratemetalhead
oh my god, is that Idiocracy?

I sure hope so.


OT: Whip out your dick. If someone's trying to intimidate you, nothing'll scare them more shitless than someone who obviously doesn't give a **** if his dick's hanging out while being threatened with a knife. They'll just be like 'yo dude he's got his dick out let's go man' and leave apologizing.

In theory it should work.
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
Ali priori / Ali posteriori
metalblaster
UG Newbie
Join date: Jan 2008
495 IQ
#67
Quote by Philip_pepper
Seriously never heard of it? It's a pound. It's like Americans calling a dollar a buck.

Or New Zealanders calling it sheep.

A quid. Really. I'd be curious to see where that come from.


Not as curious as to how New Zealanders count their money in unit of sheep though.
Krieger91
I Sold The World
Join date: Sep 2009
4,006 IQ
#68
I would've dropped my pants and said "no, but if you close your eyes and suck through a garden hose, you'll get some free seamen!"
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
donender
Get back to work
Join date: Oct 2004
2,047 IQ
#69
Quote by Highelf04
I'd have just said 'Sorry mate, got no cash on me'


That. He could have then said "alright mate", or just started getting agressive.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,227 IQ
#70
A quid is kind of like a squid though, isn't it?
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please.
metalblaster
UG Newbie
Join date: Jan 2008
495 IQ
#71
Quote by theogonia777
A quid is kind of like a squid though, isn't it?

I thought it was some sort of relation to quidditch.
theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,227 IQ
#72
Quote by metalblaster
I thought it was some sort of relation to quidditch.


No, it's like how little kids like to watch Cooby Doo on the EB.
Quote by Hal-Sephira
Shut the mother#%$& up, $^%got. You have a #$%^ing terrible muther&@$#ing taste in %#$@ing music, @&%$ing movies and %&$#ing video games. Every time I see you on the forums, you are always saying something overrated and some $@&#ing sh*t. You are just mother$^@%ing ignorant as a whole.

Get a #%$@ing life or you will get banned for life.


Quote by Arby911
Kristen is very open-minded; believes that everyone is entitled to her opinion...


Quote by NirvanaLuvr16
omg its better than i imagined... so dark and cozy and warm...


Read this please.