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palm mute
Reserved User
Join date: Nov 2009
280 IQ
#41
Quote by due 07
and we also have to quit using terms like "real parents" to refer to biological parents. yr real parents are the people who raised you, biological or adoptive.

Fucking amen
In my heart I'm with you

every night
fudger
Im a ninja of love..
Join date: Feb 2008
647 IQ
#42
I had a ten year old sister who is adopted. She has known since she was five,. She is black being raised by all whites so it wasn't hard for her to figure out something was different. She never felt out of place of it and was quite understanding. Granted we didn't tell her her mother was a mentally ill crack head. I feel waiting could cause problems but it is obviously situational.

that is my two bits at least
Nelshizzle
Banned
Join date: Nov 2004
2,790 IQ
#43
Quote by fudger
I had a ten year old sister who is adopted. She has known since she was five,. She is black being raised by all whites so it wasn't hard for her to figure out something was different. She never felt out of place of it and was quite understanding. Granted we didn't tell her her mother was a mentally ill crack head. I feel waiting could cause problems but it is obviously situational.

that is my two bits at least


Had? Im sorry if im prying, but I understand if you're not willing to share.
AmalgamOfMeat
Naw
Join date: Jan 2012
80 IQ
#44
If I had adopted kids that didn't know they were adopted kids, I would let them know they're adopted kids, so there would be no lies between me and my hypothetical adopted kids.

Love comes from the brain-heart, so DNA is irrelevant. I would make them know this.
Weaponized
Join date: Mar 2011
1,756 IQ
#45
It doesn't matter at all. If I'm raising my kid, that's that. He is my son/she is my daughter. Not biologically duh but that's not important.

If he/she asked of course I would him/her but hopefully at that point they understand what a truly makes a family.

I plan on adopting when I'm married so I've thought about this a lot.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#46
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
I never really understood why being told you're adopted would be such a big deal.

yea
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
bradulator
normcore
Join date: Jul 2007
2,473 IQ
#47
I would prefer to adopt and I will never tell it even if it's black hahahahaha
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
zdh
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2007
45 IQ
#48
I'm 21 right now - if my parents told me I was adopted, I'd be shocked. But I've had 21 years to bond and grow to love with the people I've only ever known as my real parents and I'm secure in my relationship with them. Any long-term effect is negligible.

If I'm 6, 8, 10, whatever, and I find out I'm adopted, I have to imagine this is a traumatic event. Your early years are for forming new relationships with your parents and friends, not reevaluating existing ones. I may not feel secure in how much I can trust to my adoption family, which I can only surmise would lead to further behavioural issues.
whywefight
~I'm not fuckin around~
Join date: Dec 2010
1,765 IQ
#49
Quote by Weaponized
It doesn't matter at all. If I'm raising my kid, that's that. He is my son/she is my daughter. Not biologically duh but that's not important.

If he/she asked of course I would him/her but hopefully at that point they understand what a truly makes a family.

I plan on adopting when I'm married so I've thought about this a lot.

So you're going to attempt to keep them from knowing?
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#50
A 20 something would have to be pretty retarded to not realize they look nothing like their parents. lol
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Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Last edited by WCPhils at Jan 11, 2013,
Skynyrd890
Unregistered User
Join date: Sep 2007
506 IQ
#51
Quote by WCPhils
Kids would have to be pretty retarded to not realize they look nothing like there parents.

Not every parent adopts Ethiopian kids, you stereotyping shitbird!


I'm sorry....

EDIT - I see what you did there...
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
due 07
haaan
Join date: Jun 2006
2,902 IQ
#52
Quote by WCPhils
Kids would have to be pretty retarded to not realize they look nothing like there parents.

well that's not cool. now you're shaming adopted kids for not realizing they were adopted because they're retarded. pretty low tbh. plus lots of people don't have that striking of a resemblance to their parents.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#53
Quote by due 07
well that's not cool. now you're shaming adopted kids for not realizing they were adopted because they're retarded. pretty low tbh.

It was kind of a joke

And I edited it so quickly


It was a bit mean how it was originally phrased. :/
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Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Last edited by WCPhils at Jan 11, 2013,
due 07
haaan
Join date: Jun 2006
2,902 IQ
#54
it's still mean, but i guess i can't change the fact that you think adults who don't know they're adopted are retarded.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#55
Quote by due 07
it's still mean, but i guess i can't change the fact that you think adults who don't know they're adopted are retarded.

y can't u just ignore my bad jokes due? im sorry ;_;

I obviously don't really think they're retarded
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Weaponized
Join date: Mar 2011
1,756 IQ
#56
Quote by whywefight
So you're going to attempt to keep them from knowing?

No, I'm not gonna stop them from knowing. Idk like I bet some **** aunt or uncle would just blurt "LOL UR ADOPTED AINT THAT SOME SHIT" so I'm probably gonna explain it to them, but not until they're ready. But it doesn't matter at all so whatever.
due 07
haaan
Join date: Jun 2006
2,902 IQ
#57
i'm sensitive about this because my little sister is adopted and the way it [the fact of adoption] was treated really ****ed her up and caused pretty significant issues of insecurity and self-esteem. she's the coolest person on the planet, and i don't want to any other cool adopted little girls to have to grow up in a culture that tells them they ought to view their adoption through the lenses of secrecy and shame.
bradulator
normcore
Join date: Jul 2007
2,473 IQ
#58
**** stupid retarded adopted kids

(except for due's sister)
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
whywefight
~I'm not fuckin around~
Join date: Dec 2010
1,765 IQ
#59
Quote by Weaponized
No, I'm not gonna stop them from knowing. Idk like I bet some **** aunt or uncle would just blurt "LOL UR ADOPTED AINT THAT SOME SHIT" so I'm probably gonna explain it to them, but not until they're ready. But it doesn't matter at all so whatever.

alright, i was just interested
Eastwinn
through being cool
Join date: Dec 2008
3,138 IQ
#60
probably like before 1st grade or during. as soon as possible really. i think that's the earliest they would understand how adoption differs from birth, in general anyway. but i am not a parent so i actually wouldn't know.
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
731 IQ
#62
Quote by due 07
i'm sensitive about this because my little sister is adopted and the way it [the fact of adoption] was treated really ****ed her up and caused pretty significant issues of insecurity and self-esteem. she's the coolest person on the planet, and i don't want to any other cool adopted little girls to have to grow up in a culture that tells them they ought to view their adoption through the lenses of secrecy and shame.

OK, I gotcha.

How did your parents let her know? If you don't mind me asking that is.....


I honestly didn't know there was much shame and stuff regarding adoption. I think everyone I've met who knew they were adopted, knew from the time they were a young child.
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Gibson_SG_uzr55
DJ SNAAAAKKEEE
Join date: Jul 2006
4,073 IQ
#64
Quote by WCPhils
A 20 something would have to be pretty retarded to not realize they look nothing like their parents. lol

If I hadn't been told it very frequently my entire life, I wouldn't have considered that I look like my dad.

Quote by zdh
What possible benefit could come from telling someone they're adopted? Unless it becomes medically relevant to reveal that information, keep it to yourself.

Someone ought to have the right to know where they stand in the family.
Quote by beadhangingOne
What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


Quote by TunerAddict
you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers


Quote by Baby Joel
Isis is amazing
RealGuitarHero
Just Call Me Zacch.
Join date: Jan 2007
1,790 IQ
#65
Quote by sashki
"Hey son kid, you're adopted. Your real parents are irresponsible and never loved you. To us, you're a complete stranger who leeches off our time and money. Don't you ever forget that."

Because everyone who is adopted had irresponsible parents.

No adopted children's parents are dead at all or anything. They're all just prom night dumpster babies right? Or no child is officially adopted by a step-parent who was already treating like their own flesh and blood. Nah. We're all just bastards whose parents didn't want them.
Quote by barden1069
A "tubescreamer" is a person paid by a guitarist to stand behind the amp and scream at the tubes. This terrifies the tubes into overdriving and delivers a thick, harmonic-rich tone.
King Donkey
yes
Join date: Jan 2011
777 IQ
#66
I'd tell them as soon as they can understand what it means. I can't see any good coming from keeping it a secret until later on.
West Ham United
StewieSwan
Decent User
Join date: Feb 2009
5,025 IQ
#67
I don't think you should be expected to. I think defining 'family' by sharing genes is lame and pretty 20th century.
666atheist666