mr.retard
wumbology
Join date: Jan 2012
332 IQ
#1
i feel guilty for posting in here without ever giving my opinion on the other lyrics in this thread. i read them i just don't know what to say most of the time. sorry

i tried really hard to get the words pursuing happiness into the song but i just couldn't find a way. some day i'm going to add background vocals in the chorus. maybe i can find a way to fit it in there.

verse 1:

for six long years
i've been waiting
for happiness
to come knocking
at my front door

chorus 1:

but now i know
that i need to
open the door
and start the search

verse 2:

and I'm aware
that this will take time
and lots of work
but i just can't wait
not any more

chorus 2:

because i know
that i need to
open the door
and start the search
Making your day worse so tomorrow seems better.
RecnepsDaGreat
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2012
111 IQ
#2
I think that this is a good start i think there is only one thing that i would look at. I would have to listen to this song with the music, but it looks like it would be a fairly short song, like 1:30. If you want to make it longer I would add another verse before the first chorus, a bridge after the second chorus and the 3rd chorus after that bridge. Keep up the songwriting!
mr.retard
wumbology
Join date: Jan 2012
332 IQ
#3
Quote by RecnepsDaGreat
I think that this is a good start i think there is only one thing that i would look at. I would have to listen to this song with the music, but it looks like it would be a fairly short song, like 1:30. If you want to make it longer I would add another verse before the first chorus, a bridge after the second chorus and the 3rd chorus after that bridge. Keep up the songwriting!


Almost all kof my songs are around 1:30-2:00 minutes. For some reason I don't like two verses back to back. I don't know why. Maybe I'll give it a try during my next song.

I don't know how to write a bridge and all my songs are just bass. I can't play guitar or drums. If I ever get in a band I'll probably have a guitarist help me write some bridges. Just to make the songs more complete.

Thanks for advice. It means a lot.
Making your day worse so tomorrow seems better.