Jaguar1965
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
83 IQ
#1
Trying to make a non generic song I don't want metalcore labels or anything really. So here we go

"I'm just so tired
My eyes are bloodshot
My future gray
My mind dug deep into the ground
Hey!!!
Just give me another moment here to waste away!!!
The bright nights!!
The dark lights!!!
The Hate,the pain, won't go away"

All I got for now, I want feedback positive and negative.
Bootyboy12
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2012
13 IQ
#2
pretty cliche` and angsty but if this is your first attempt then that's excusable, just keep writing and you'll get better

pretty generic soz lol
Jaguar1965
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2010
83 IQ
#3
Quote by Bootyboy12
pretty cliche` and angsty but if this is your first attempt then that's excusable, just keep writing and you'll get better

pretty generic soz lol

Thanks for real feedback I hate asking my friends for them lol