#1
You're a
Train wreck
I look for
Survivors
If I can't
Find one
I'd call it
A day

Sorry
You can't
Hear me I
Hear you screa
-ming my
Name
Last edited by treborillusion at Mar 7, 2013,
#2
This seems like it could have been half a stanza, but pulled out into a full piece. It's a good idea, man. A really good one, but I think you need to take this one back to the forge and give it some more shape.

Keep on with this one, I think I'm going to really like where it goes.