vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
Join date: Sep 2006
5,308 IQ
#1
I.

the same light strained through cerulean sieve
your veins, your eyes
the sky, the sea
scattered columns that line the insides of my cheeks
blue raspberry tongue when I'm too shy to speak


II.

love is just sympathy,
the overwhelming urge that makes
beauty converge -
a oneness found through
the fingers and skull
that muddies the details
of corporeal world -
two pairs of eyes can read all sets of tongues
but once they are locked, everything only hums
and the volume between them will quiver and crack
until everything comes, until
everyone comes.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#1 synth
Weeow!
Join date: Mar 2006
7,350 IQ
#2
goddamn, you are so good. i think most people would say your strong point is your imagery. but i disagree. its your wonderful control of sonics and soft sounds that makes your poetry so readable and resonant.
brokencoastline
(objects) ocean.
Join date: Jun 2009
577 IQ
#3
This was so good, Saadia. Dylan makes an interesting point. I've always thought of your poetry as very centered on imagery and that's usually what I notice first in it, but at least with this poem, the sonics took over and the imagery came after. I think it's a good thing. I hope you're doing well.
samoo
Full-time snail racer
Join date: May 2006
179 IQ
#5
Fantastic writing. You have a wonderful flow, the first is just a joy to read. The start of the second wasn't as natural a read for me, the last five lines are lovely though.
Eissac123
Hello World
Join date: Feb 2013
350 IQ
#7
Friggin AwEsOmE
To The World I Am A Stranger, To A Stranger I Am A Possible Serial Killer


Quote by Wolfinator-x
You guys are so funny xD xoxo <3

Quote by Doveri
Well a human can't sing an Em since that's a chord

If you mean Eb3/E3, then that is a contralto voice.
vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
Join date: Sep 2006
5,308 IQ
#8
thanks you so much everyone. I'm so happy these were enjoyed
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

culex-knight
mon titre d'utilisateur
Join date: Jun 2004
400 IQ
#9
haven't posted here yet, but, as usual, these were really good.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching