Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,913 IQ
#1
With this song I decided to just write something heavy, fun, fast paced and not as blast oriented as some of my material is. Influenced by Converge, Trap Them, Nasum, Phobia, etc. C4C is applied here, hope you enjoy.
Attachments:
twinkledick.gp5
twinkledick.gp4
twinkledick.mid
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#2
Can't get over how good 47-50 sounds, it's like it slows down in my head as the chords descend, very nice drums also!

Twinkle twinkle
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,913 IQ
#3
Thanks man! Do you have anything for me to crit?
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
EpiExplorer
orsonfacenospace
Join date: May 2008
5,594 IQ
#4
Thats veeery Trap Them, like it. Could perhaps use a more jarring intro, cuz going into the main riff wears it out quickly.
o()o

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Wild_One
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2009
528 IQ
#7
never really into grind stuff.....but, i'll give it a chance....

I like the intro riff though, sounds good to my ear....the drum part is good and i like the intensity of the bass drum. However, IMO the overall song is too short, and kinda boring....

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1598106
QuantumInfinity
Yeay!
Join date: Jun 2012
278 IQ
#8
"Less blast oriented", dayum!

I dunno, it's fast paced, it's fun and as Erra93 said, that one part was really icing on the cake. Rest is just some in your face stuff that you could probably just listen to while doing other stuff like wrestling bears or climbing on top of giraffes.
When you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you…
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,913 IQ
#9
Ok this is bothering me.

This thread is just full of short crits. Two of them find it good (they're short but whatever man, Erra and Pie are always like this, I don't really mind anymore, what can I do ) but the other two are just.... I mean, you found it boring, but could at least tell me why? When I crit songs that I find bad I tend to take my time explaining the flaws and how to improve. All I ask is that if there's any flaw, expand a bit on that.
Quote by QuantumInfinity
"Less blast oriented", dayum!

I dunno, it's fast paced, it's fun and as Erra93 said, that one part was really icing on the cake. Rest is just some in your face stuff that you could probably just listen to while doing other stuff like wrestling bears or climbing on top of giraffes.

What the hell, what does that mean.? Do you find the the riffs bland, does it get you pumped or sleepy or what.
Quote by Wild_One
never really into grind stuff.....but, i'll give it a chance....

I like the intro riff though, sounds good to my ear....the drum part is good and i like the intensity of the bass drum. However, IMO the overall song is too short, and kinda boring....

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1598106

I won't even complain about the "short song bit" because not everyone has to know that's on of the main things with grind, but come on dude. You specifically mentioned you liked the intro and the double bass drumming, but what about the rest? What does make it boring?

I used to do short crits sometimes and people complained that I was trolling or killing this forum, or whatevs. Nowadays when I do a crit I always do a long one. It takes me at least 10 minutes to do a proper crit, and sometimes I even find them too short.

I'm not asking you to take 10 minutes, I can't do that. You might have a life or important shit to do and I get that. But at least take some notes when you're listening and post them here. You don't even have to write them down, just note down mentally what parts you like, you don't like and what could be improved.

I might sound pissed, but I'm just kinda upset. I would be frowning IRL if I didn't display my emotions Terminator style.
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Erra93
erriuyai
Join date: Nov 2009
1,682 IQ
#10
Quote by Ometh
Ok this is bothering me.

This thread is just full of short crits. Two of them find it good (they're short but whatever man, Erra and Pie are always like this, I don't really mind anymore, what can I do ) but the other two are just.... I mean, you found it boring, but could at least tell me why? When I crit songs that I find bad I tend to take my time explaining the flaws and how to improve. All I ask is that if there's any flaw, expand a bit on that.

What the hell, what does that mean.? Do you find the the riffs bland, does it get you pumped or sleepy or what.

I won't even complain about the "short song bit" because not everyone has to know that's on of the main things with grind, but come on dude. You specifically mentioned you liked the intro and the double bass drumming, but what about the rest? What does make it boring?

I used to do short crits sometimes and people complained that I was trolling or killing this forum, or whatevs. Nowadays when I do a crit I always do a long one. It takes me at least 10 minutes to do a proper crit, and sometimes I even find them too short.

I'm not asking you to take 10 minutes, I can't do that. You might have a life or important shit to do and I get that. But at least take some notes when you're listening and post them here. You don't even have to write them down, just note down mentally what parts you like, you don't like and what could be improved.

I might sound pissed, but I'm just kinda upset. I would be frowning IRL if I didn't display my emotions Terminator style.


Dude, when I post a short comment it's not meant as a crit (and I never ask for a crit back when I do that), it's just meant as short praise because I find it good, but I'm way too lazy to actually crit (which is like 90% of the time, aff). My actual crits are usually longer

Also, when I actually make really short crits, I usually ask for a really short crit in return

Anyway, thanks for the crit on my song, I took it to heart and will probably make the outro more epicer, but the ridiculous sounding part at 46-47 will stay, because it's ridiculous
Last edited by Erra93 at Apr 19, 2013,
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
3,913 IQ
#11
Quote by Erra93
Dude, when I post a short comment it's not meant as a crit (and I never ask for a crit back when I do that), it's just meant as short praise because I find it good, but I'm way too lazy to actually crit (which is like 90% of the time, aff). My actual crits are usually longer

Yeah I get that. It kind of bugs me but whatever lol.

Just try to do a longer crit next time
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
QuantumInfinity
Yeay!
Join date: Jun 2012
278 IQ
#12
Quote by Ometh
What the hell, what does that mean.? Do you find the the riffs bland, does it get you pumped or sleepy or what.


What that means, is that the song is somewhat forgettable. The riffs aren't necessarily bad or boring but they don't really say much other than "Hey, here I am, let's **** shit up!".

The transitions feel too abrupt sometimes - e.g. drums in bars 34-35 as well as the guitars @ 32-33 and the blast beats do sound kind of off in the song, I think it could've easily done without them.
I guess what it boils down to is that it really is quite a frantic/hectic song without much of a 'flowing' structure (at least that's my impression after listening to it about 7-8 times), where critting is kind of a bitch. It really is all over the place, especially with the drums - maybe that's intended, maybe it isn't. Or in other words: It's a song that if it were to play on the radio or in a club, you'd not really mind it but you wouldn't really remember it either.

Another thing I felt was that the first 16 bars - which I assume to be the intro - draw out a bit too long without having anything that really stands out. Maybe a simple lead or a bit of a tweaked, diverse drumming pattern of some sorts, maybe with a more daring fill for bar 16, since that seems relatively tame in comparison to the rest of the songs drums.
When you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you…