Seb1uk
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
426 IQ
#1
Something a little different I wrote last time I went home, was hoping I could have written the lyrics and recorded it during then as well. Glad I didn't now either because I do wanna change some things. So figured I would post it up now and see what feedback I could get.

I just wanted to write something simple that I could sing over a bit more easily than my other songs, so I did this. Was kinda rushed which is why the interlude and ending is a bit weak. I wanna make the interlude not so soft, I think. And there's some cheesy vocal melodies towards the end which I am definitely not keeping.

But yeah, let me know what you think. And in case you didn't realise, the sax is the vocal melody.
Attachments:
rock 292 v4.gp5
blake1221
‭‭
Join date: Oct 2007
164 IQ
#3
That was phenomenal. Really well written, held together by multilayered instrumentals. I strongly disagree with g0ze, the clean break was a very nice surprise, especially with the 7/8 time change.

The vocals or the saxophone at the end did not have to be so prominent. They bled over the song and distracted from the overall cohesiveness. If it was a vocal line, it could possibly use a stronger melody, but the current one is definitely good.

Solid writing through and through on this piece.
Ometh
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2009
401 IQ
#4
I'm not going to crit this right now since I feel like shit but I just needed to tell you how much I enjoyed this piece.
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Seb1uk
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
426 IQ
#5
Cheers for the feedback! Apologies I'm gonna be a bit slow on any crit returns coz I've got just over a week until exams start so a bit busy. But yeah I imagine vocals will be easier to write once I've got some lyrics down.
Guitar0player
UG's derby Spike
Join date: Aug 2006
250 IQ
#6
I mean this in the best way possible, it sounds as if Fall of Troy was a pop rock band!

It sounds fantastic! the chord choices, the voicings the different sections the progressions.

It is so catchy yet not dull and boring!

The bridge with the clean guitar kinda feels out of place, it interrupts the flow of the song to some degree. The way it builds back up after that is fantastic however.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.