Page 238 of 238
#9481
I've been going to this restaurant a lot lately because of this girl.

How lame is that?

Last time she was working in the kitchen so I couldn't talk to her.
I just want to know that I did all I could with what I was given.
#9482
Quote by Rattlehead714
I'm still in love with her despite all of the bad things, most of which were left out of this post. The good times were amazing.


No, you're not. The memory of that one time you were happy, maybe. But once that lust phase began to wear thin, you were left with constant headaches.

Look at the life you're leading and give yourself reasons as to why you're genuinely a better person for it. Genuine reasons that don't anchor themselves in other people's perspectives. Looking to eventually relive the past is the basic sign of a dying relationship.

Quote by Våd Hamster
You need to break up, and she needs a therapist


They both do. Relationships rarely fall because one person let go of their rope. It's just retold that way.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
Last edited by megano28 at Oct 26, 2016,
#9483
Hey RT,

Just a question I have at the moment. I broke up with my GF of about 2.5-3 years a few months back. We were living together with another guy, and continued living together for a few months after the break up because we had a good deal on rent (and we had separate bedrooms). I've finally moved out and living in a new flat. And finally now it feels like we have properly broken up, and now it's probably harder than before. I'm trying to concentrate on myself and all the other classic advice.

It's (very) slowly getting easier. She was my first in pretty much everything, so I have still got some attachments. I still need to contact her to sort out some last transferring of bills which is almost sorted. Then, I will cut the contact and I will get a chance to breathe.

The main thing I wanted to know peoples opinions on was rebounds. It's been a few months since I got laid, and I have downloaded tinder etc., got some potential on there, but something is telling me that going for a grim shag may make me feel worse rather than better. I think the relationship has left a bit of a sting on me and I should probably concentrate on achieving some goals that I have, but I was just wondering what to do? I'm obviously into guitar, and I have a lot of stuff going on with qualifying for my job, I enjoy running, I play casual sport with some friends. I guess, in writing this it actually seems more obvious what I should do: get qualified, join a band, join a running club, enjoy being in my own company again. I miss some parts of being in a relationship, like having that other person there for support, but in reality it was crap at the end of my relationship and I think we flogged a dead horse for far longer than we should have. Hopefully I've learnt some lessons. My confidence has taken a bit of a knock I think, and I think I need to get to a position of strength where I don't need the support of the other person.

I feel more positive after this post, a bit of light catharsis on a Friday Evening.

The question still stands however, yay or nay on grim rebound shags? (and the girls I'm matching with, it probably will be grim, especially for them!)
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#9484
To be honest dude, just do what makes you happy. If you feel like having a shag on tinder will be fun, do it, if you'd rather sit at home and do nothing and just chill out, do it. The world is your oyster now, and you can choose to do what you want to now without any real feeling of guilt about how it may affect your significant other.
Yes I am falling
How much longer
Till I hit the ground?
#9485
will123456789

Nothing wrong with a rebound. Just don't commit to anything more because you miss that closeness with another woman.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#9486
Quote by i_lovemetallica
To be honest dude, just do what makes you happy. If you feel like having a shag on tinder will be fun, do it, if you'd rather sit at home and do nothing and just chill out, do it. The world is your oyster now, and you can choose to do what you want to now without any real feeling of guilt about how it may affect your significant other.

Quote by megano28
will123456789

Nothing wrong with a rebound. Just don't commit to anything more because you miss that closeness with another woman.


Thanks for the advice guy. I understand what you mean Megano. Of course I miss that closeness, and need to be careful not to chase something for that reason
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#9487
I've been chatting with this girl on okcupid the last two days. I don't think she is into me though.

So far it's just been me asking questions about her and then she answers. She hasn't asked about me which is a bad sign,

But the thing is she always answers my questions immediately and has been for the past two days.

Thoughts?
I just want to know that I did all I could with what I was given.
#9488
Ditch it.

She's either not interested, or a rubbish communicator. Both of which are horrible to deal with in relationships. If you're sending her messages that leave open the possibility of conversation, and she just replies and doesn't ask you about yourself, just stop replying.
Yes I am falling
How much longer
Till I hit the ground?
#9489
Yeah I'm thinking it's more that she's not intersted then she's a bad connunicator.

Just wanted to make sure. Thanks
I just want to know that I did all I could with what I was given.
#9490
The more I think about it the more I feel regretful that I didn't even try the other night.

Didn't have anything to lose either. It was the perfect opportunity and I let it pass me by. There will be other times but none will be as easy as it could have been.

Still have the same mindset from when I last posted about being content alone, and witnessing friends dramas with their girlfriends has only made me realise the freedom I have, but t would be nice to experience at least something with someone potentially worthwhile.

Like I have options to communicate with this girl but none of them are ideal. Like I can go up to her during class and speak to her briefly asking her if she'd like to go on a date, but it gets a little complicated because her friend she's always with was my crush for a looong time and I'm not sure if she caught on to it. I was at times straight forward but she wasn't single and her replies always came across as nothing more than friends, but I'm almost certain she must know. Maybe she thought I was sweet for trying though, and by showing interest in her friend she would be like yeah he's not a desperate creep, I don't know, maybe im being a bit paranoid?

Or I could contact her over the Internet but I've never considered that to be a respectable approach when it comes to asking out someone you're acquainted with already. Shows more confidence doing it irl etc.

It's also a bit annoying how where I study is so small that nearly everyone knows everyone and people talk and word gets around, so if it's rejection then it's gonna be like in school again where everyone around you will know about it and whisper behind your back like school kids. And I know this is true because it's happened with a friend who was involved with someone within the same course. I really need to stop being attracted to people I study with lmao, this is the third one now. There's like one each bloody year.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#9491
I'm getting to breaking point and I'm not even involved with this.

My girlfriend is at uni, and therefore lives at home still. Her family is her, her parents and her brother.

Her brother is an absolute idiot. The worst person I know in person.

He's 24, has never worked, doesn't go to uni, doesn't contribute to anything. This alone would be enough for him to be gone from their house, but it gets much worse. He's had his battles with mental health. I get that. But with the medication he has, drinking brings on the symptoms again. What does he do? Goes out drinking, calls her parents at 3am demanding to be picked up, then starts throwing shit around and shouting when he gets home. He went to uni on weekends last year. He gave up after 2 weeks because it was too hard. Now he just sits at home, playing video games and breaking things when he gets angry at those video games. He blocks mine and my gf's devices from the wifi so he can play without lag. The cheek of it.

Only today, he screamed at my gf over dinner about her parents paying for her flights to England to visit me (i'm on 3 month secondment in the UK) when they're giving her half, and she's paying the rest. She argued back that she goes to uni and works hard for her money and he threw a glass bowl at her. I'm scared for her safety but her parents don't do anything other than shout at him.

He needs to be sectioned or kicked out but her parents will do neither.

He's had help. He went to a psychiatrist for a year and everything was much better, but then he stopped going because he didn't like it anymore and things are just getting worse with every day.

He's on medication that he either refuses to take, or drinks when he's on them which makes him violent.

He's had chances. He needs to be gone now before he kills someone.

In addition, the missus overheard him talking his friends on his game, that he found it hilarious he got so angry at my gf and threw a glass bowl at her.

He's beyond help and redemption.
#9492
Tanglewoodguit

tbh her parents sound like shit. they could be nice people but they're not doing their part

but also oh my god what an asshole. sorry I have no advice but fuck that guy, for real

Quote by Pastafarian96
I an evety characyer in this story
#9493
So I learned the other day that apparently babysitting is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

So over the last month or so I've been seeing this girl that lives a few hours away. She also has a 5 year old daughter. Normally kids would freak me out, but for some reason I'm actually kinda cool with it....

Anyway, saturday morning out of the blue we're messaging, and she's like "We're going to the zoo if you wanna tag along", and I was like "yeah, sure why not"...and we hung out there, I met her kid, and the other two kids she was looking after (her best friends kids). Anyway, we had fun times at the zoo and then had dinner after and then just goofed around at a playground before we went home.

Anyways, she messages me the next night pretty much saying that watching me push her kid on the swings is the hottest thing she's ever seen.

Don't need any advice, just wanted to gloat really
Yes I am falling
How much longer
Till I hit the ground?
#9494
Quote by i_lovemetallica
So I learned the other day that apparently babysitting is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

So over the last month or so I've been seeing this girl that lives a few hours away. She also has a 5 year old daughter. Normally kids would freak me out, but for some reason I'm actually kinda cool with it....

Anyway, saturday morning out of the blue we're messaging, and she's like "We're going to the zoo if you wanna tag along", and I was like "yeah, sure why not"...and we hung out there, I met her kid, and the other two kids she was looking after (her best friends kids). Anyway, we had fun times at the zoo and then had dinner after and then just goofed around at a playground before we went home.

Anyways, she messages me the next night pretty much saying that watching me push her kid on the swings is the hottest thing she's ever seen.

Don't need any advice, just wanted to gloat really

^Nice man^
#9495
Quote by i_lovemetallica
So I learned the other day that apparently babysitting is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

So over the last month or so I've been seeing this girl that lives a few hours away. She also has a 5 year old daughter. Normally kids would freak me out, but for some reason I'm actually kinda cool with it....

Anyway, saturday morning out of the blue we're messaging, and she's like "We're going to the zoo if you wanna tag along", and I was like "yeah, sure why not"...and we hung out there, I met her kid, and the other two kids she was looking after (her best friends kids). Anyway, we had fun times at the zoo and then had dinner after and then just goofed around at a playground before we went home.

Anyways, she messages me the next night pretty much saying that watching me push her kid on the swings is the hottest thing she's ever seen.

Don't need any advice, just wanted to gloat really


Careful with that. Not that I believe that she's doing it maliciously, or even intentionally, but interacting with children elicits some heavy hormone-based sexual drive from some women.

I know seeing children's rooms when we were house hunting sparked some very similar behavior from my partner. Not that it's really dangerous, but if you're not careful and ovulation has a part to play, you can end up with some accidental children
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#9496
Just curious, how does one go about approaching getting a vasectomy?
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#9497
How old are you? If you're younger, depending on where you live, it'll require a lot more.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#9498
21. I don't want to worry about bringing life onto a dying planet.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#9499
Quote by megano28
Careful with that. Not that I believe that she's doing it maliciously, or even intentionally, but interacting with children elicits some heavy hormone-based sexual drive from some women.

I know seeing children's rooms when we were house hunting sparked some very similar behavior from my partner. Not that it's really dangerous, but if you're not careful and ovulation has a part to play, you can end up with some accidental children

I think I'll be fine. She's already stated very clearly that one kid is more than enough for her. I was just happier about the fact I actually didn't totally goof it up, because historically, I'm terrible with kids.
Yes I am falling
How much longer
Till I hit the ground?
#9500
Quote by Nero Galon
21. I don't want to worry about bringing life onto a dying planet.


Well, it depends on the doctor you see then. Some may outright refuse, others may ask you to seek some counseling first, as the decision is massive.
You could lie and say you already have kids, but I'm not sure if that's possible because I don't know if they verify it.

If you're lucky enough to find someone that outright would be willing, then the best of luck to you. I would recommend fully exploring the consequences(and potential cause of the mindset) though, and not just because it's a potential decision of never having children. I'd recommend someone seeking to have children do the same, as these choices are permanent, or at the bare minimum, very costly. If you feel you already have, then I hope you find someone that will.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#9501
One of my closest friends opened up to me about something to which took me aback. I wasn't prepared to hear it and I hope I gave him the right advice so here's the situation...


In my time knowing my friend I've been the one to openly discuss my romantic interests with him, he's always been very quiet about himself. I never asked until now and bloody hell do I feel for him. So the context is we're in our last year of uni and he told me that he has strong feelings for the girl that he's been living with for the past 3 years. Now that right there is the biggest problem in my eyes. He cannot risk their friendship, especially while living together. Another problem is that she has a girlfriend and when I asked her about it she said she prefers girls to guys currently... I had no idea my friend had feelings for her when we were having this conversation, but damn that must have only added to the frustration.

Another thing is, this girl is gorgeous as all of us that know her are always pointing out, my friend isn't unnatractive appearance wise but he isn't very confident and it shows through his personality which imo would be deemed unnatractive. Another thing is that they don't seem to have much in common. He's one of my best friends so I know much about him, as for her I've gotten to know her well enough that I know they are very different people. Like I couldn't ever imagine them two together. It always baffled me how they stuck with living with each other throughout uni as it is.



Anyways, I didn't tell him that but that's what I think. I basically told him that I feel really sympathetic for him because having to go through that must be rough and that I don't know how I'd cope, but I also advised him to give up and try and move on because it won't end well.

I think I did the right thing.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#9502
I'd be inclined to agree. Even living with someone for a while, you don't really get to peel away all the pieces of armor they may have until you're both making steps with an actual intimate relationship. As beautiful as she is, I wouldn't be surprised if it had a contributing factor to his infatuation. He probably won't listen, but these kind of things tend to be binary, and his frustrations won't help change the situation.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Anyway I have technically statutory raped #nice

Quote by EndThecRinge51
once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#9503
Anyone else got an advance on this?

I'm getting to breaking point and I'm not even involved with this.

My girlfriend is at uni, and therefore lives at home still. Her family is her, her parents and her brother.

Her brother is an absolute idiot. The worst person I know in person.

He's 24, has never worked, doesn't go to uni, doesn't contribute to anything. This alone would be enough for him to be gone from their house, but it gets much worse. He's had his battles with mental health. I get that. But with the medication he has, drinking brings on the symptoms again. What does he do? Goes out drinking, calls her parents at 3am demanding to be picked up, then starts throwing shit around and shouting when he gets home. He went to uni on weekends last year. He gave up after 2 weeks because it was too hard. Now he just sits at home, playing video games and breaking things when he gets angry at those video games. He blocks mine and my gf's devices from the wifi so he can play without lag. The cheek of it.

Only today, he screamed at my gf over dinner about her parents paying for her flights to England to visit me (i'm on 3 month secondment in the UK) when they're giving her half, and she's paying the rest. She argued back that she goes to uni and works hard for her money and he threw a glass bowl at her. I'm scared for her safety but her parents don't do anything other than shout at him.

He needs to be sectioned or kicked out but her parents will do neither.

He's had help. He went to a psychiatrist for a year and everything was much better, but then he stopped going because he didn't like it anymore and things are just getting worse with every day.

He's on medication that he either refuses to take, or drinks when he's on them which makes him violent.

He's had chances. He needs to be gone now before he kills someone.

In addition, the missus overheard him talking his friends on his game, that he found it hilarious he got so angry at my gf and threw a glass bowl at her.

He's beyond help and redemption.
#9504
Your girl should make plans to move out asap, not only for obvious reasons, but also to instill the fear in her parents that they'll be alone with with the Destroyer of Glassware, there might be a chance they'll see the lesser of two evils and exile him

I'm afraid the power balance in the world is between the system(parents) and those that don't obey the system(tDoG)

Sadly, parents are not what they used to be, I sympathize. Short of stabbing him in the eye there isn't any short term solutions, she really needs to move away
#9505
I could do with some help from someone that could understand this.

I've been going out with this girl for about a month and a half.

From the very beginning, she told me that, since her last relationships, she told herself that if any relationship started causing problems with her studying for university, (which she already has problems with due to an operation she had for her epilepsy) she would cut it off.

This, coupled with some trust issues, caused some problems at the beginning.

Anyway, things started to be going a lot better..then last two Saturdays ago, she told me that the was falling in love, I told her the same thing. I was going out with a girl up until last year, and never once told her..towards the end, she kept on saying it to me, and I never once told her back...we had to break up after a while. This time it's different.

Anyway, the day after me and this present girl told ourselves this, she kind of lost it. Didn't answer my good morning message, and then told me that she couldn't do this, it seems like I don't care about her university, she doesn't feel like she can trust me,she's confused..when she stopped answering, I went to her house, told her I was there, and she came out, let me in, we had chat, then I had to go. Afterwards, she told me that as soon as we saw each other and hugged, her ideas cleared. Also, that I didn't seem too involved and that she didn't think I would take it that way.

Now it's time for a back story;

A few months before we were going out, her and a friend of hers bought a couple of tickets to an Opeth concert. When we started seeing each other, though we weren't anythung yet, me and a friend of mine also bought tickets to this concert.

Her friend flaked on her, and I was asking her about how we could go together. About a week before the concert, she said she couldn't make it because she had lessons she couldn't miss the day afterwards, and the same day. I told her that we could go in two cars, and that me and her could stop off in the city where she has university and sleep in a hotel. That way she wouldn't miss out on much sleep..she said she would think about it. A few days before the concert, I phoned her to tell her that my friend was on board, but she said she couldn't make it, go anyway, it wouldn't be fair for you to not go.. At that stage, I really didn't feel lie going anymore, it was something I wanted to do with her..it wa the reason I bought the fucking ticket in the first place. And I told her all of this. Only, there was my friend, and he was carless.

Anyway, this concert happened to be the day after that Sunday we nearly broke up. All Sunday, I wasn't really thinking about it. By the time Monday came, the trip was organized, I was driving, I kind of had to go. Didn't want to, but couldn't really back out. I told her this, and went, though I wasn't feeling it, and told her this.

At one stage, I did the silly thing of telling her that we walked in to a bar opposite the venue where they were playing an Opeth song we are particularly connected to and that I was thinking of her a lot...she kind of went cold for the rest of the evening. Didn't take it well.

We texted a bit more during the concert and stuff..by the time I got home, she'd stopped answering. Texted her the morning afterwards, not answering. Went to her house, had a chat for a while. "We are too different, the fact that you consider a concert so important that you went the day after we nearly broke up proves we are too different, I consider concerts mush less important than you do, I only liked them when I was 20 (Though, she was really fucking sorry she couldn't come) then got in to a little argument...

The next day we texted a lot. I mean, a lot..and for a while she kept on mentioning things I said while we were arguing that I didn't mean.

After a while, she warmed up a bit. I sent her a voice text telling her that I loved her, and she wrote on a piece of paper that she does as well. We saw each other, and got back together.

Now, from then on, it's been a lot easier, calmer, and closer. We went to the cineam and she payed. It's been going well..I really like this girl.

Now, on the 5th and 6th, she's going away with a friend of hers, for two days, in the north of Italy.

Right, I don't really mind that..it's not me to cause a problem, really, buuut..

How can she kick up a fuss because of a concert, and then go away for two days?

Is it simple carelessness on her part? Does she really give much less of a fuck than she says she does?

I have suspicion that the concert wasn't the real issue..that there was something else behind it, and I kind of suspect that her parents are kind of bothering and pressuring her (See, she lives with them, and they're paying for uni, so anything that stops her from studying in their eyes is bad, and they're not too kind about it and not big fans of me because of my ex)

I also have an idea that she's kind of expecting me to kick up a fuss about her going away..maybe not doing so makes her think I don't care? Maybe she's doing it as a sort of vengeance?

It doesn't make sense that she'd kick all this up because of a concert, and then go away for a couple of days...

And she's now going cold again...

Sorry for the long ass post..If anyone can help, please do. I feel a lot for this girl.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#9506
if you gotta write a post that long you already know the answer
It was my privilege
#9507
Wish I did.
Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise
#9508
Am pretty sure I've been ghosted again. This is gonna be fun having to pretend none of this happened with another girl in a class.

I think I'm gonna have to make a rule. Never approach anyone who you will have to see in person again.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#9509
Quote by Krieger91

I've been going out with this girl for about a month and a half.
I feel a lot for this girl.

Without reading anything else I can already tell the problem is that you are way too needy

Reading the rest I see it's true for both of you, you'll never be a good matchup because you both want a partner that's relatively emotionally stable, but you two are more emotionally back and forwards than the entire Back to the Future trilogy

You two are simply a bad match, sorry to say. If you stay with her you'll only get more of what you got previously: crazy whipsawing emotions

Quote by Nero Galon
Am pretty sure I've been ghosted again. This is gonna be fun having to pretend none of this happened with another girl in a class.

I think I'm gonna have to make a rule. Never approach anyone who you will have to see in person again.

lol, do you ever relax
Last edited by Våd Hamster at Nov 23, 2016,
#9510
Våd Hamster

This is three years of trying so yeah I think 3 girls in 3 years, a different girl each year, is taking my time. It just so happens now that all 3 girls are now in this class I attend and it's wierd because they know I like them but they've all ghosted me instead of telling me no so it's sort of like an elephant in the room.

In fact, really awkward earlier, was walking through town earlier with some friends and the girl who's most recently ignored my text had to walk passed me with her friends. I said hello but she didn't say anything back, or if she did I couldn't hear it...
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#9511
Quote by Nero Galon
I think I'm gonna have to make a rule. Never approach anyone who you will have to see in person again.


Or just care less about rejection. Yes, I can't stand people who 'ghost' but at the same time I would be the nicest guy in the world afterwards because it would annoy the piss out of them.

You now know they're the type of person who buries their hand in the sand until things go away. Why would you give a damn about them any more? You're better off without.