doofus41
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2007
1,405 IQ
#1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSndWaq68g8

These lyrics were written by my band's singer. What do you think? Click the link above to hear/read them in the lyric video for the song.

Fall into sorrow, loathing tomorrow
The pain you swallow deep down inside
Knowing the suffer, the wounds you cover
Leave me to say I want out
Knowing that I am nothing and you are the one in the same
You're taking me down, you're taking us down
With the weight of the world on the shoulders of my hate
Asking yourself

How can it be that I'm drowning in a sea
A sea of my agony that's taking me to the edge
Where I hold my life in my hands
As I pray for death

Hating the lover, the one you smother
The black and white imagery
I'm not the servant, the one you govern
Leave me to say I want out
Knowing that I am nothing and you are the one in the same
You're taking me down, you're taking us down
With the weight of the world on the shoulders of my hate
Asking yourself

How can it be that I'm drowning in a sea
A sea of my agony that's taking me to the edge
Where I hold my life in my hands
As I pray for death

(Guitar Solo)

Not yet, not yet, NOT YET

How can it be that I'm drowning in a sea
A sea of my agony that's taking me to the edge
Where I hold my life in my hands
As I pray for death
Brooklyn_Razorb
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2012
132 IQ
#2
I like it, but it should have had more detail, and a longer bridge. Love your way of words.
Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.