#1
Resignation and Denouncement [4 Aug 2013]

The mystery unsolves us;
clouds clear for meteors,
and a love I used to know
breathes wide without fear,
vulnerable to recollection,
habitual motion, to rockets
and falling rocks soon lost
to the sun.
Greens fill the foreground,
the valleys to the south
fill with low clouds, the wind
picks up, picks me up, and I arrive
with you now, or then, morning-eyed
between rock walls and drop offs,
seams of coal that line the cliff face
in the same way the limestone showed burns
in the church where we met, St Mary
of the Mount, cathedral in the sky
over stadiums that fill the evening
with new noise and blue lights.

Then somewhere between this mountain
and the next that matters to me,
between a city and a clean ridgeline
some river unwinds, a forest untangles,
the earth flattens out and we can see
a whole gas tank away. The past too, unravels
into mural, and you are there
across none of it--a beginning and an end
without any true story in between, no matter
the strokes, half glances, at writing it.
They are ghosts in the highlands,
skeletons in the rivers,
the weather's gotten warmer
and the dead have grown dimmer
with my memories of you between skylines
and hollows, I traverse, confused
or undecided, or confused about how
to tie this up nicely, this finished dream,
this elegance in the darkness,
a narrative created maybe for this moment--
years taken out of context
and understanding--to be better than in love
with someone half unreal, to become
not lonely, to not be made sense of
in the first palce or any place at all,
to welcome back this familiar void
and to become myself and no one else again.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
Last edited by jiminizzle at Aug 7, 2013,
#3
gorgeous. this felt grandiose and humble all at the same time. i read it once then threw on james blake's "overgrown" and read it again and it was perfect
here, My Dear, here it is
#4
This is great, I feel like I can hear Leonardo DiCaprio saying this poem in the soft voice he does when he narrates something. This seriously, is great stuff. Like I felt like I was just watching a beautiful movie.

(Also, I am glad this isn't your resignation

(And I need James Blake's new album, seriously, how was I not on top of that?)
Last edited by 21wickwing at Aug 9, 2013,
#6
means a lot to me guys. thanks. have some new stuff up the pipe. please reach out to me directly if you want a legitimate critique on something specific. I don't have internet so I've been copying and reading a bunch of stuff offline from here but can't comment on all of it too easily at the moment.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#7
i really thought the pacing was a bit slow until the last twelve lines or so. i feel that some of it is a bit cluttered, not in the images themselves but the presentation and the grammar. in spite of those small critiques, i agree with subway- it felt humble yet like standing on a sweeping precipice with your voice booming across a broad plain (not literally your voice).