rushmore
bblblubluewhale
Join date: Jan 2007
3,870 IQ
#1
I love your
brains
breasts &
smells.

Let’s eat
sea turtle eggs
together,
like animals.

I’m afraid to come over
because the stuffed
alligator in your living
room frightens me to
death.
Last edited by rushmore at Aug 18, 2013,
#1 synth
Weeow!
Join date: Mar 2006
7,350 IQ
#2
only two revisions i would make. i would flip brains and breasts just for sonics. i would also put room on the previous line or have a comma after it. having frightens start a line i think would be more impactful, but any way to have a pause there would really help the last two lines work better together.