#1
Ok so I kinda write the lyrics for my band and some friend's bands/solo projects and I feel like I can post something, which is my oldest song, like I wrote it a year ago or something, so it's very cheesy and teenager-like, I improved a lot, but it sounds good with the music. I'm also french so I'm sorry if my English is bad or anything. But anyway here it is :

It's called Jesus (so artsy) :

I call him Jesus
And he's my prophet
'Cause he taught me life
And he broke my mind
He brought me sins
And now we act like twins
Showed me life on the go
He gaved me love and soul
His adress's on my skin

But she's waiting for you
Like I'm waiting for you
Layed down in dark alleys
With nothing for no one
With everything for them
I can do it for once
Like I knew how it's made
Like you would call my name

I absolve
'Cause this thing's absurd
I hear his voice on a record
And it gives me a hard on
I look at the moon
And it's smiling like you
I hear them call
And they sing like you

They're waiting for me
Like you're waiting for me
But I know their cars
And I know their wifes
I do it sometimes
'Cause I know how it's made
It's always been that way

Jesus played no games with me
He won't play with you
And he's got a girl too
She is watching you

I am waiting for you
I am crying for you
Like you knew I would do
Like I thought I was through
I am waiting for you
I am waiting for you
But he's got a girl too
#3
Well it's kind of a 90's Cat Power/Jeff Buckley style, and we uses a lot of tempo shifts usually between verses and chorus
#4
I love three things about these lyrics. 1. There is a story and things are happening. I love this, keeps me engaged makes me care.
2. It has a great ending. Like I can tell there is a lot of energy in the ending
3. The word play and rhythm is good. surprising since English isn't your first language.

Nice very well done
#5
Wow thank you I didn't expect that. I'll keep your advices in mind, especially for the story-telling, because I thought that maybe it would be boring.