#1
Bubbling echo
of warmth spread out
as well as over
human geographical oddities.
Asymmetrical visage -
Old family pictures
laid out
like waves crashing
cleanly against
inconsistent red carpeting,
laid out
like dunes of sand
running from Lawrence of Arabia
on old concrete.
Cavernous openings
of coffin-makers
spilling language.
I love you, too.
I’ll see you soon.

I’m beginning to understand
who the players are and
what the game is.
#2
Whoa, this is a pretty heavy write. I like this. The flow is cool, like a freaky, technical, proggy piece. Good job.
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AAAHH! OH NO! STOP SHOOTING ME!!!
#3
You should continue to post here.

I also really like this, but I'm always on the fence about ending amazing poems with little quips. This one no exception.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#4
I'm imagining the little quip be put into like a whisper at the end, with like just a mic feedback or something, and then cut out.
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AAAHH! OH NO! STOP SHOOTING ME!!!
#5
Deep.

This song was deep, loving the subject matter and the language used, with not over using metaphores but keeping some excellent flowing descriptions up; that was cool.
Quote by laid-to-waste
look nigga, if you're chillin with 5 bros and 2 hos, you're gonna wanna pay attention to all of em equally. not moon over the hos forever and laugh at every shitty thing they say and just stare at them all night, like some of my mates do.