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Philip_pepper
Banned
Join date: Apr 2008
90 IQ
#1
I'm kinda sick, got a bit of a cold, so my mom told me that someone told her that sleeping nest to an onion helps. Somehow.

So now I got an onion cut up in half in a bowl next to me bed.

What's the weirdest thing you've slept with, beside my mother?
WCPhils
UnBanned
Join date: Sep 2010
10 IQ
#2
Your father


no homo
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
Last edited by WCPhils at Jan 5, 2013,
Nickpocalypse
Thread Killer
Join date: Jun 2009
10 IQ
#4
Super Nintendo

When I was younger I had one of those in-car DVD player screens plugged into it and I played Super Mario RPG while lying in bed.

EDIT: Apparently this thread is for sexy jokes... Awkward...
NarwhalG2G
They're Red Hot
Join date: Sep 2012
20 IQ
#5
Quote by WCPhils
Your father

Quote by KiLLSWiTCH-KnoT
it's like I make threads knowing they're gonna be shit but I make them anyway


Quote by kertets
Wire his sack to the electrical socket the next time, little fucker will be shootin lightening bolts all over the house.
Junglie
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2010
10 IQ
#6
My gameboy under my pillow when I was little.
Quote by thePTOD
I love you.
ali.guitarkid7
Gets Easier
Join date: Oct 2009
90 IQ
#9
Quote by PeZ546
I had an onion tied round my belt, which was the style at the time.

At the time?


OT: A serb.
Quote by Aeolian Harmony
Ali priori / Ali posteriori

Quote by EndTheRapture51
I am sick of [Ali] coming into every thread and calling someone a straight white male "haha LOOK at this STRAIGHT WHITE MALE saying THESE THINGS oh my GOODNESS"

every. single. time.
jthm_guitarist
"funny" but "unmemorable"
Join date: Apr 2006
153 IQ
#10
Quote by blake1221
You're going to reek in the morning.

Yeah OP your mom is playing a trick on you.

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
hornet224
a rock
Join date: Mar 2009
10 IQ
#11
A wooden sword.


Don't judge me.
Quote by rocklee1431
Wow, these all suck. Except for the Moth Whisperer over there.


Quote by VanTheKraut
If you voted anything other this, you're wrong and a queer and I personally challenge every last one of you to pistols at dawn.
Alpha_Wolf
HR
Join date: Oct 2006
144 IQ
#12
I've heard people say that too. It makes no sense to me, at all.


In my restless dreams...
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me there again someday.
But you never did.

Well, I'm alone there now.
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you.

OVER9000VIDEOS
that ain't falco
Join date: Feb 2011
40 IQ
#14
sometimes when i'm chewing gum in bed i'm too comfortable to get up and throw it out so i just stick it on my nuts (pretty much the best spot if you actually think about it)
hornet224
a rock
Join date: Mar 2009
10 IQ
#15
Quote by Shredoftheday
OROGERS are like onions trheyu have laywer s



wut?
Quote by rocklee1431
Wow, these all suck. Except for the Moth Whisperer over there.


Quote by VanTheKraut
If you voted anything other this, you're wrong and a queer and I personally challenge every last one of you to pistols at dawn.
Shredoftheday
pngyuuuuuu
Join date: Sep 2008
110 IQ
#16
Quote by hornet224
wut?

>Using a public restroom in the bad part of town
>Really bad diarrhea
>Someone comes in tries to open the door of the stall I'm in, I say it's occupied
>See a big brown eye stare in at me through the crack of the door
>He says nothing and I can hear him walking back to the bathroom door
>To my horror I hear sounds of the door locking as the smell of onions begins to fill the air, shortly followed by the light switch being turned off
>The last thing I remember hearing is "Don't worry, this will be ogre soon."
>Wake up in an dumpster in another part of town with no pants, a prolapsed anus, and a fractured pelvis
>Doctors said I was lucky to be alive; police never found out who was responsible

MORAKL of the stoory : OP dont sleep with a onioni
Joshua Garcia
An actual big boy
Join date: Jun 2009
4,730 IQ
#17
I think I've accidentally slept on a hangar once.
And my wallet.
And jacket.
And my backpack.

Other than that, nothing.
Quote by imspazzen
i'm horny af for Marge Simpson right about now
hornet224
a rock
Join date: Mar 2009
10 IQ
#19
Every time jetfuel posts, I find myself mesmerized by his avatar rather than reading his post. Is that normal?
Quote by rocklee1431
Wow, these all suck. Except for the Moth Whisperer over there.


Quote by VanTheKraut
If you voted anything other this, you're wrong and a queer and I personally challenge every last one of you to pistols at dawn.
Shredoftheday
pngyuuuuuu
Join date: Sep 2008
110 IQ
#20
Quote by hornet224
Every time jetfuel posts, I find myself mesmerized by his avatar rather than reading his post. Is that normal?

no

that's a boy
guitarist41
DiscoSucks****Everything
Join date: May 2006
100 IQ
#22
Slept ON two bags of compost one night when I was 16.
Quote by neidnarb11890
the chinese take-out place my family always ordered from gave you chopsticks, so as a kid it was fun to try & eat with chopsticks
now i just use a fork, 'cuz nothing is fun anymore & i just want to shovel food into my mouth to fill the void
DonGlover
Occultist
Join date: Nov 2010
20 IQ
#23
Quote by blake1221
You're going to reek in the morning.

I doubt that is different from any other morning of his.
--------------╯╰--------------
A SIGNATURE.
--------------╮╭--------------
Saint78
julian wells
Join date: May 2009
60 IQ
#24
I thought an onion was a layered woman that stinks and makes people cry?
you're a stone fox
ErikLensherr
UnBanned
Join date: Jul 2011
10 IQ
#25
Quote by urbandictionary
1. onion 580 up, 164 down

an ounce of cocaine
"takin' orders is sunnin, an ounce of coke is an onion" R.I.P. BIG-L


That'll take your mind off a cold no doubt.
Quote by EpiExplorer
I swear this guy in particular writes for the telegraph or some shit.

Quote by EndTheRapture51
fifth harmony defense force assemble
JustPhil
Not beautiful
Join date: May 2007
95 IQ
#27
Apparently all the bacteria and stuff are like "fuck staying on this human, there's an onion we can decimate!". So the onion takes one for the team.
yoman297
hi
Join date: Oct 2010
100 IQ
#28
for a school band trip i had to sleep with another guy

but we wore pyjamas and put pillows between each other and shit because bro code
kratos379
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2009
40 IQ
#29
A Thai girl. If you're not careful, you'll find out that maybe they are Thai, but they might not be a girl. Luckily she was a girl. Seriously though in Thailand they have a lot of crossdressers.
Amuro Jay
ヴェープル ウェーブ
Join date: Apr 2006
1,234 IQ
#30
Quote by Shredoftheday
no

that's a boy
piss off shred you know she's a girl
Quote by yoman297
for a school band trip i had to sleep with another guy

but we wore pyjamas and put pillows between each other and shit because bro code
how would you cuddle up if you had pillows between each other
yoman297
hi
Join date: Oct 2010
100 IQ
#31
Quote by jetfuel495
how would you cuddle up if you had pillows between each other


trust me the room was hot enough

don't need no more body heat

no homo
kornnolis
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2007
10 IQ
#32
Quote by Nickpocalypse
Super Nintendo

When I was younger I had one of those in-car DVD player screens plugged into it and I played Super Mario RPG while lying in bed.

EDIT: Apparently this thread is for sexy jokes... Awkward...


Its ok I slept with my Joystick once...
FireFromTheVoid
Unloved
Join date: Mar 2011
20 IQ
#33
My dog
One of the third friendliest users
Stratkat's pet


Quote by Momentosis
Void is a wanker that's why

Last edited by FireFromTheVoid at Jan 5, 2013,
whoomit
Join date: Jul 2006
375 IQ
#34
I once slept with a...

Actually I'd rather not say. It wasn't a pretty site anyways.
Xiaoxi
Registered Luser
Join date: Nov 2007
170 IQ
#35
I take things to the next level by sleeping with an Ogre

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
Philip_pepper
Banned
Join date: Apr 2008
90 IQ
#36
Quote by DonGlover
I doubt that is different from any other morning of his.


Thank you Donglover.

I needed that.


Rockford_rocks
Z -> v -> ^+A
Join date: Apr 2006
274 IQ
#38
Quote by durhamdynamo
My girlfriend. In my parents bed.


Done this, in her parents' bed. She wants to in their shower, too.
Ssargentslayer
Registered Abuser
Join date: Sep 2007
30 IQ
#39
Quote by Shredoftheday
>Using a public restroom in the bad part of town
>Really bad diarrhea
>Someone comes in tries to open the door of the stall I'm in, I say it's occupied
>See a big brown eye stare in at me through the crack of the door
>He says nothing and I can hear him walking back to the bathroom door
>To my horror I hear sounds of the door locking as the smell of onions begins to fill the air, shortly followed by the light switch being turned off
>The last thing I remember hearing is "Don't worry, this will be ogre soon."
>Wake up in an dumpster in another part of town with no pants, a prolapsed anus, and a fractured pelvis
>Doctors said I was lucky to be alive; police never found out who was responsible

MORAKL of the stoory : OP dont sleep with a onioni

wait wat
Gantz92
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2012
20 IQ
#40
Quote by Junglie
My gameboy under my pillow when I was little.


This. I left some pokemans at the daycare center and kept my Gameboy on during the night. I remember it didn't work as well as i hoped it would but i don't remember exactly what pokemon i left there or how much xp they gained.
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