#1
Recorded this song using my iPhone 4 voice memo app. I stuck my phone next to my bass and guitar amplifiers as it was the only method I had to record. As a result, the quality is kind of rough and I plan on re-recording everything using a Steinberg USB interface as soon as I get my computer fixed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFfmil7leTw

solo eases in around 2:40 then continues for about 2 minutes. I wrote this back in october and recently added bass and some guitar overdubs to it to improve it. I was aiming for Pink Floyd/King Crimson/Tame Impala style melodies and don't really know what genre this is. I'm looking for feedback on how to improve this song so give me some constructive criticism! Thanks
#2
I like it, feels very 70s-80s. something you would listen to when you want to zone out and chill to me, haha. Some vocals would improve it, but most of all, I like the end when it reaches it's point. I'd like to hear it when you have everything recorded and mixed properly. Feel free to drop me a PM when you do
#3
This song makes me feel like I'm at the beach in July, tripping balls on acid. The soloing is especially satisfying.

I hope to hear the rerecorded version of this. The parts you are playing sound cool through the bad quality, so I'm sure it would be great otherwise.
Nikolas
#4
I really like the 70's sound. It's hard to hear the drums (except the cymbals) or the bass, so some mixing would be in order. I liked the solo. It fit the song well. Overall with some fine tuning here and there this could be a great song.
#5
Quote by ironlac_
I like it, feels very 70s-80s. something you would listen to when you want to zone out and chill to me, haha. Some vocals would improve it, but most of all, I like the end when it reaches it's point. I'd like to hear it when you have everything recorded and mixed properly. Feel free to drop me a PM when you do


thanks man. i tried to get the bass really thumping side to side at the end to really finish the track off strong! i cant sing and im working on finding some friends to collaborate with, gonna get another drummer aswell! will do

Quote by ROCK=ZEPPELIN
This song makes me feel like I'm at the beach in July, tripping balls on acid. The soloing is especially satisfying.

I hope to hear the rerecorded version of this. The parts you are playing sound cool through the bad quality, so I'm sure it would be great otherwise.


thanks man. i never took music lessons and im actually only an average guitar player, so in order to write the solo, i played the first 30 seconds of the bridge (that the solo plays over) over and over again on repeat for about an hour, and would continously add a few notes each take til i had a full solo. thanks man, ill send you a copy if/when i do!


Quote by Heliotrope
I really like the 70's sound. It's hard to hear the drums (except the cymbals) or the bass, so some mixing would be in order. I liked the solo. It fit the song well. Overall with some fine tuning here and there this could be a great song.


thanks man, im glad you guys enjoyed the solo. that was the strong point of this song as its kind of repetitive in a sense theres no vocals, just instruments. and yeah, im gonna work on the mixing again!


thanks for the feedback dudes, send me links to your music and ill check em out
#6
Pretty cool rock song you got there...Maybe if you recordet it in stereo it will sound better and the drums are a bit muddy.Try using the computer for recording i think it will improve your sound.A bit generic riffs but i dont realy listen to that kind of music so im not competent about it.Like the other guys said it has cool 70s vibe and its perfect song for surfing
#7
This is awesome, I couldn't stop smiling the whole time listening to it. Obviously could be better with proper recording, but damn its still awesome. Love the solo. I hope to hear a rerecorded version soon. Nice work
#8
Nice! I like the phaser effect, it kind of has that "nirvana" kind of riffs going on at the start i felt. The drums add that "70" feel to it! I really do thing that vocals would make the song complete, you probobly new that though. I liked it! I dont know why but i see shaggy and scooby when i listend to this
#9
Interesting! i like the old fuzzy sound that the recording gives it. Its very droney, but good droney. Now regarding the solo, i think it should be turned up a bit BUT also i think if you did vocals to the melody of the solo, like background vocals under a lead vocal melody, it would sound very interesting. just a thought! and thanks for the crit on mine!
#10
Nice.
The intro part reminds me of an 80's song, can't remamber which one.
The main melody is very catchy, I liked it. Of course you mentioned youself that it's not a good recording and such an experimantal rock song needs a perfect recording to sound good.
Cheers from Greece!
#11
Very nice song, liked the "screaming" tone of the guitar, besides of the recording quality. Great riff, simple and trippy. Cheers from Brazil!
#12
Quote by gustavoasalves
Very nice song, liked the "screaming" tone of the guitar, besides of the recording quality. Great riff, simple and trippy. Cheers from Brazil!


thanks man, i plan on mixing up this riff more. i wrote this back in october and ive added lots of variations since but recorded this months before

Quote by Imm0rtal
Pretty cool rock song you got there...Maybe if you recordet it in stereo it will sound better and the drums are a bit muddy.Try using the computer for recording i think it will improve your sound.A bit generic riffs but i dont realy listen to that kind of music so im not competent about it.Like the other guys said it has cool 70s vibe and its perfect song for surfing


what do you mean by stereo? i just stuck the voice memo write up to the amp and cranked it lol. and yeah im trying to get my computer fixed so i can use advance software. thanks, and what parts do you find the most generic? could you point them out so i could change them?

Quote by JDawg00100
This is awesome, I couldn't stop smiling the whole time listening to it. Obviously could be better with proper recording, but damn its still awesome. Love the solo. I hope to hear a rerecorded version soon. Nice work


haha thanks man, this made my day!

Quote by Metal Turtle
Nice! I like the phaser effect, it kind of has that "nirvana" kind of riffs going on at the start i felt. The drums add that "70" feel to it! I really do thing that vocals would make the song complete, you probobly new that though. I liked it! I dont know why but i see shaggy and scooby when i listend to this


thanks, i used a tremola pedal effect on my amp for the intro. i was aiming for that drum sound, but their made using a program called FL studio 10. recently met a drummer tho were going to collaborate soon

Quote by Sean Ashe
Sounded really cool man, i think the fact it was a lower quality recording added some 'vibe' to it, not to sound all hippy like or anything haha Great work!


haha thanks man, i kindve dig the tone aswell

Quote by link55588
Interesting! i like the old fuzzy sound that the recording gives it. Its very droney, but good droney. Now regarding the solo, i think it should be turned up a bit BUT also i think if you did vocals to the melody of the solo, like background vocals under a lead vocal melody, it would sound very interesting. just a thought! and thanks for the crit on mine!


np man, ill always c4c. and yeah, at some parts the fuzz does sound nice but others i feel it makes the melody dull, im gonna find an equal during the reproduction

Quote by Greendaz
Nice.
The intro part reminds me of an 80's song, can't remamber which one.
The main melody is very catchy, I liked it. Of course you mentioned youself that it's not a good recording and such an experimantal rock song needs a perfect recording to sound good.
Cheers from Greece!


haha thanks man! by melody, which part do you mean? i tried to make each sequence original and id like to hear which riffs are better than others so i can add to good ones and maybe change the lame ones

edit: heres my soundcloud guys https://soundcloud.com/jackhos follow me ill follow back
Last edited by jdenmo at Feb 17, 2013,
#13
Suprisingly not bad quality for a phone recording, it's pretty insane how good phone camera's and mics are getting. I enjoy the composition though, I'd be interested in hearing the re-done version. Kind of reminds me of early Syd Barrett era Floyd
#14
Yea dude,

I really like the intro and the solo.. You have a very melodic approach which is very good imo..

Its a nice arrangement and when its recorded properly and has some vocals added it could be a very good tune.

Even tho it was recorded on your phone, I still listened to the end, so that says something about the arrangement there..

Cant wait to hear a better recorded version
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#15
Hi! This thing litteraly screams rush in my ears. I really like the guitar tone with this style of music. Some vocals would be great. The drums and stuff sounds a bit wierd to me, but you havent used so very complicated equippment. Good song and nice melody in the end. The guitar could be tighter in some places but this would be easyer with a real recording.
#17
thanks for the feedback guys, a friend of mine is going to re-do the drums on this live. apparently, he says that the drums are so messed up in this that at some points im actually hitting different kicks and drums that I couldn't hit normally with 2 arms at the same time.

Quote by JWBlack
Yea dude,

I really like the intro and the solo.. You have a very melodic approach which is very good imo..

Its a nice arrangement and when its recorded properly and has some vocals added it could be a very good tune.

Even tho it was recorded on your phone, I still listened to the end, so that says something about the arrangement there..

Cant wait to hear a better recorded version


thanks man, i appreciate you listening to the end. most people would turn it off halfway through aha as it takes long to get good
#18
The sounds suprisingly good considering the circumstances of the recording. I really liked the solo and overall the riffs were great and gave the song a pretty awesome tone. I feel like the song will sound much better overall with a proper recording and some vocals if possible.
#19
You may want to clean up the strumming as your positioning is making the chords sound out of tune cos I believe your strings actually maybe slightly out of tune. Ps, watch the timing.
#20
thanks for the reviews guys, ive improved timing from practicing more hours a day lately