Eccer
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2006
993 IQ
#1
Heralds Of The Night

Today's a new scent
For the wolf pack
To ride on
Bringers
Harbingers
Heralds of the night
Their songs upon
The crescent moon
Dripping
In the wake

A fury, comes an
Aftermath in their tongue
News spread fast
On naked ears
Ever so
Blind

As cracks open
A mass swelling
Bearings
Now comes their
True nature
In a form of
Ritualistics & campfires
Dancing mad men
And late nights
Forgotten

By
The caravans haunted
Of baying beasts before
Crossing riverbeds tossing
Plague ridden bodies
Downstreams
And further

"Take the
Remnants on stakes
For the eyes
To witness
A cruelty for justice
Fear, for the people"
Do not believe them

Mark a new scent
For the wolf pack
To ride on
Bringers
Harbingers
Heralds of the night
Their songs upon
The crescent moon
Forever
In the wake
Of the wild
Last edited by Eccer at Jul 17, 2013,
doubtfulsalmon
______________
Join date: Jan 2011
628 IQ
#2
as always your flow of ideas is very good, and the imagery is obviously well thought out. i really like how you use line breaks and repetition to establish a rhythm throughout, which also gives the piece more of a traditional feel.

however i found that the lack of punctuation made this quite difficult and daunting to read, so i've had to go over it quite a few times to fully appreciate it. i appreciate how it can be an effective technique, but personally i don't think it works so well in longer pieces.

the final stanza concludes this brilliantly btw
Invicto91
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2012
44 IQ
#6
Quote by Battery Chicken
Hangover 3 Theme song



aaannnnd /thread, haha. But in all seriousness, that was pretty good, a hell of a lot better than anything i have attempted.
Jordan89R
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2009
141 IQ
#7
I enjoyed reading this. Word choice is great in my opinion, and it really gives off a cool vibe. May I ask what you were envisioning when you wrote this? Or where the inspiration came from? Thanks.