DaysofGrace
THE Rhythm Guitarist
Join date: Mar 2010
1,817 IQ
#1
So, I've bee working on a semi-hard rock song called "Event Horizon". I'm thinking it's going to be a slower song, with a bit of a somber feel to it. Anyway, I've trying and trying to come up with some lyrics, beginning with the chorus. I like what I have, but I fear it might be a bit cliche. Opinions?

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I'm so tired of getting off the ground
Just to get knocked down
But something tells me there's no coming back from this.

I don't want to fight to survive
I just want to live my life
But something tells me there's no coming back from this.

I guess this is where it ends.

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Thanks!
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."
sickman411
strč prst skrz krk
Join date: Jan 2009
395 IQ
#2
I would rephrase "I just want to live my life". Not only does it sound a bit cliché, it also sounds like filler. And you really don't want that in a chorus.
Theehero
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2012
215 IQ
#3
Yes, While reading it, I imagined chad kroeger voice. That being said, I think it depends on the context.
kenziethomas13
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2012
203 IQ
#4
Quote by Theehero
Yes, While reading it, I imagined chad kroeger voice. That being said, I think it depends on the context.


That does sound like some Nickelback type thing. I like it though, and think that the last line is a little cliche, but I think it fits well with that part.
DaysofGrace
THE Rhythm Guitarist
Join date: Mar 2010
1,817 IQ
#5
Quote by kenziethomas13
That does sound like some Nickelback type thing. I like it though, and think that the last line is a little cliche, but I think it fits well with that part.


Nickelback? Ouch.
"This nightmare's gonna break me.
Please, Daylight, save me..."